sinner boy -dnf-

øne

before reading, take caution this book includes many triggers you have been warned <3

It was Sunday, around 9pm at night. I was sitting on my bed writing in my diary. Yes, a diary. Very girly you might say. I got my pen and pressed it against the paper, and began to drag it around forming a letter.

Dear Diary,

Today was alright. I had to go to church. I hate church. I always have to pray. My father makes me. After my mother died i been forced to go since.

I don't like being christian. i really don't. i don't believe in god. i don't like this bible shit at all. why do i have to live by a stupid book of rules, telling me i can't do this or that and if i do, i go to hell.

i am going to hell.

i'm homosexual. i always liked men. i never had a crush on a single girl. it was always me writing love stories about boys with six packs and guys with skirts.

if my father finds out i don't know what i'd do. i would be dead. literally. i don't know what he's capable of. if i do anything wrong that against the bible he hits me.

i say to myself that it's normal but really, i know it's not.

i just want to be okay.

I sighed as I closed my book slipping the pen in the side. I bent over and slid the book under his bed, deep making sure my father will not find it.

If my father finds it, i would probably die.

I get back up and lift my blanket and place it on me. I lay my head back onto the many pillows on my bed. I like it, it's very comfortable. I shut my eyes, and drift off into a sleep for that night.

———————————————————————

"WAKE UP!"

My eyes shot up, i say up and looked around me to see my Dad standing at my bed. His arms were crossed and he didn't look very happy.

"Get up, it's time for school."

I pushed my blanket off me and got up. My dad walked away and shut the door behind him.

I walk over to my dresser to see what i could wear.

After a couple of minutes of searching for clothes, i settled for a blue hoodie and some black sweat pants.

I got dressed and walked out of my room. I showered the night before, so i'll be okay. Trust me, i don't smell.

I walked into the bathroom and brushed my hair and teeth.

Then, i walked out, grabbed my bag and headed out.

I walk to school, i don't like driving with my father. He likes to blast christian music. i hate it.

I began to walk, looking down on my phone.

"George!" I hear from behind me. I turn around to see my best friend Alex.

"Hey!" I waved walking over to him. Alex is a cool guy. We known each other since middle school. He knows about my father but can't do much about it. He's always there to comfort me over text or call when something happens. I'm happy to have him.

"How was your night?" He asked placing his hand on my shoulder. "Well, it was alright i guess. I wrote in my diary."

"what did you write about." We began to walk.

"just my thoughts i guess, the usual stuff i tell you on a daily."

Alex looked at me and frowned. i hate to see him upset. I hate for him to feel sorry for me. i hate to see him worry.