Can't say I wast hurt, because truly, it stung a lot. Can't say that it wasn't my fault, because it really was. Can't say that I didn't really feel happy for a time. Because It really did. Can't say that I wasn't inlove again for a moment. Because it really felt like it did.
Feburary 14th huh, another day of the month that passes, nothing special happens on the earth at this date. And yet, why does everyone around me seem so different? I feel cold, numb even though summer is fast approaching....I still feel the cold from the winter crawling up my spine, all the way to my broken heart.
I want to forget. This pain, this memory, this suffering. There's no special or magical thing about the emotion called "Love", its all a farce. A word used by fools to proclaim their "unwavering" loyalty to the person they feel attatched to. But in truth, the heart isn't beautiful, nor is it capable of producing lasting happiness. All it is, is a potent poison, used to blind our eyes, null our senses and decieve our delicate thoughts.
"WAIT!"
I hear a scream..
"REMEMBER!"
Huh?....remember what?, Who?
"REMEMBER THE JOURNEY!"
......Journey?
That's right....the journey....the feelings....the memories....what is this?, this warm feeling?...
Oh right...it's more poison my heart releases to blind me of reality. I need to forget, I want to forget.... I want to give up.
"But why can't you?"
I don't know.
"Pretty funny, someone like you, saying he wants to die, but doesn't even have enough guts to kill himself. How pathetic!"
Yeah, I guess I am. I gave it my all, I poured all of my emotions, I put all of my effort and concentration..and yet I failed. I guess I really am pathetic.
I guess I was wrong. To think that I would've been able to do it. How mistakenly wrong I was. How big a failure I made.
"Yeah you're a failure, so whats it going to be?"
What do you mean?
"What are you planning to do now?"
......I don't know
"You don't know? Or you don't want to know?"
What?
"Think clearly for a moment."
I am...
"and?...what do you think?"
That I should just dissapear.
"If you really wanted to then you should've been long gone by now, No one will miss you, no one will wounder about you, and no one would even think twice on how or why you really existed... Is that what you really want?"
What I want doesn't matter....Thats the truth, even if I like it or not. It's the real truth. Can't change anything about that.
"But you can do something about that can you?"
Do something? ....Are you stupid? Can't you see before you? There's nothing, NOTHING! I can do now... it already happenned she already made her choice, there's nothing I can do to change it. That little journey has ended, and now I want to forget all of it everything. The pain the sadness all of that awful feelings
"You're right. She made her choice, you can't change that."
And?
"You really want to forget?"
