Harry Styles Imagines

Hate

WARNING - SELF HARM
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Mine and Harry's relationship was the best I could ever hope for. He was understanding, forgiving, protective, in a good way, and was so sweet. He was probably the most perfect boy on this planet. He has made my life so much better and gave me someone to love.

Harry was always one call away and he would be there if I needed him to be. He always has in the past. If I needed him or just wanted to talk, he would drop everything and be there for me. Whenever I opened up to him, just in the slightest, I could tell how happy it made him, even if it was a difficult topic. He was just happy that I was telling him something that he knew I wouldn't trust with anyone.

But, for some reason, I still couldn't tell him everything. I hate feeling like that because I know Harry just wants me to open up to him like he has to me. However, I think we have both accepted that it's just who I am. I don't like to open up a lot. I struggle to open my thoughts to everyone, including the people that I trust the most.

Especially with stuff like this I can't bring myself to do it.

I have been getting a lot of hate messages on Instagram and Twitter about Harry and I. Usually, I've just been able to ignore what people are saying, but after a while it just seemed to catch up with you. I know what they are saying isn't true, but I couldn't help but think that there is a reason that some of them say the things they do. It's always along the lines of,

"You're not pretty enough for him or how could he love you?"

Which is true. I mean just look at Harry, he deserves the best. He deserves the smartest, prettiest, most caring girl in the world because that's exactly who he is. I can't give him that. I am most definitely not the prettiest or smartest and I can't even do the simple task of opening up to your boyfriend. Harry deserves someone who can give him all those things.

Coming into this relationship I knew it was going to be hard and I knew I was going to receive a massive amount of hate. Most likely for no reason at all, I just don't think it ever dawned on me that it could be this bad.

At first it wasn't that bad, of course some people were surprised that Harry chose me to date. I mean, I am too, but slowly, it turned into people hating me for it. Everyday the words just seem to stick in my head more and more. They would just float around and I can never push them away. Then those thoughts of other people's opinions slowly became my own. I swear I will be my own downfall one day.

My thoughts however, were quickly interrupted by my phone going off. I huffed before slowly turning around in our bed to the nightstand and grabbed my phone. I relaxed back on the bed before bringing it up to my face and looked to see who was calling.

I smiled as my screen flashed with the words - Gemma. It's been a minute since we talked and I truly missed her. I quickly answered my phone, excited to talk to her.

"Hello." I answered in my bright and cheery voice that I have become so good at faking.

"Hey (Y/N). I have a question." Gemma greeted excitedly. I could tell that she was smiling, she always has a bright smile on her face.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked curious as to why she was calling. I tossed my legs over the side of the bed, planting my feet on the ground as I slowly got up from my lazy day in.

"Since Harry is at the studio with the boys, I was wondering if you may want to go shopping or get our nails done? Something along the lines of that." Gemma suggested as I heard water running and clanking in the background.

"That sounds amazing." I quickly agreed, maybe doing some shopping would help ease my mind of all the things I've been dealing with since this morning.  "We could do both, I need a new wardrobe and need my nails done." I agreed with a slight chuckle.