Bulletproof Heart

14. Mondays Suck...

⚠️TW⚠️
SELF HARM

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I proceed to spend the rest of the weekend locked up in my house, the curtains drawn and only small lamps on for minimal light. I don't wanna catch a glimpse of myself on a reflection... I ignore any calls or messages that arent from my dad checking up, he thinks I'm doing just fine, that I'm perfectly happy here... they say ignorance is bliss.

As I'm laying in my bed sunday night, I start to get a familiar urge. The small amount of light in the room reflects off the shining blade on my desk...

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I fight it for a few moments, before giving up and grabbing the blade from my desk. I grip the cold metal in my hand, as I step into my bathroom. I step into the tub, sitting in the floor so I dont make a mess of my room.

I take a deep breath and press the thin metal to my wrist, breaking skin and drawing blood. I set the blade on the side of the tub and watch in amazement as the blood pools on my wrist, flowing down and dripping onto the white floor. I grab the blade, making another cut, until I feel dizzy.

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Once my vision starts to get a little splotchy, I set the blade back on the side of the tub and lay my head back to rest against the wall. I bathe in the pain, letting my eyes flutter shut and pass out.

I wake up about three hours later and step out of the tub, pulling off my blood stained clothes before stepping back in and turning on the water to the right temperature. I wash off the dried blood, not bothering to be gentle on the new cuts and step back out. I wrap myself in a towel and wrap a bandage over my wrist, before stepping back into my room.

I drop the towel in the middle of the floor and grab a pair of pastel pink pajama pants and a tie-dyed shirt, changing quickly. Once finished, I climb into my bed and allow sleep to consume me.

~Morning~

The sound of my phone alarm echoes through my room. I groan, flopping over on my side and smacking the screen randomly until I hit the right button, shutting it off. I slowly sit up, rubbing my face roughly, ugh I hate mondays...

I get up from my bed and shuffle tiredly over to my closet. Ugh, this all takes so much effort... I finally settle on the laziest outfit I can find; A pair of black and white striped leggings, An oversized black sweater with a skeleton bones design, and my black Doc Martin's. I sigh and walk slowly into the bathroom, deciding to just throw on some eyeliner and be done with it.

~skip to school~

I make it back to my locker and see the guys there, along with Gerard and his slut... I lower my head as I walk by, trying not to be noticed. As I open my locker, it once again decides now is a good time to get stuck. I kick the locker like i had done before, but it still doesnt budge. I start messing with the lock again, getting more frustrated by the second "just open you stupid thing!" I whisper shout, frustration leaking from my voice.

"Does the little Pixie need help with her locker? To incompetent to do it on your own Spr-" Veronica's sneering voice is cut off, "back off her," I hear Frank growl "if you're gonna keep her around she's gonna stop being a bitch Y/N Gerard..." he snaps as she moves away from me. "Here, let me see it," he says gently and I move away from the locker, allowing him to try opening it. After a moment, it opens and I thank him "Oh! Here's your jacket back..." I say, voice barely above a whisper. He smiles "thanks Y/N," I nod and pull my books for my classes out of my bag and walk off.

I can feel someone's eyes burning into my back as I walk away, Gerard I swear to (the) god(s). Most of the day passes as normal, minus the Gerard bits, Frank keeps Veronica off my back during history and any other time he can. Finally lunch rolls around and I step outside to the tree I normally sit at.

A few minutes after I make it outside, Frank shows up "hey," he says quietly "hey," I reply, I cant seem to make my voice go any louder than a loud whisper. He sits beside me in the grass and smiles, "I'm sorry about Gerard, he's stu-" I cut him off, "its whatever, I-I dont care about it..." I look at the ground, tugging at the sleeves of my sweater.

We sit there for a moment, before his eyes lock on my wrist "Y/N... is that a bandage?" He asks, shit. I pull my sleeve farther down, "dont tey to hide it, I already saw it! Gimme your arm," I shake my head and he narrows his eyes "Y/N." Knowing theres no point in arguing, I hesitantly move my arm towards him.

He rolls up my sleeve and gently unravels the bandage. I look down at the ground, embarrassed by my actions. "Y/N..." his voice has a sad town to it, and I continue looking away. He gently re-applies the bandage and moves my sleeve back down, before standing up "he's gonna fucking fix this..." he mutters, before stomping off toward the bleachers.

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I know it's a little shorter than usual, but next chapter will be full length lol...