Just Add Water

Chapter 33

When Gray told Juvia and Erza about Natsu's request, Juvia was elated to help. Ever since she was five she had been a hopeless romantic and always quick to support any kind of love. In her mind love conquered all and there were no obstacles that could put a stop to it.  

"He wants to go on another date with her." She said smiling. "That's so sweet."

"But she's gonna say no." Gray said. "Remember she doesn't want a boyfriend."

"Yes she does."

"No she doesn't. She said so."

"Men, you really know nothing of the opposite gender." Erza said rolling her eyes. "Women hardly ever mean what they say. We don't do straightforward."

"Why?" Gray asked.

"Because every time a girl is straightforward with a guy on the subject of dating and attraction he freaks out."

"That is not true."

"Oh no? You're saying you wouldn't freak out? If I asked you a straightforward question in regards to girls and anything other than friendship you wouldn't go all stupid."

"No."

"Alright then. Gray do you think Juvia's pretty?"

Gray and Juvia both went stiff and turned red in the face. 

"Do I...I...I think she's pretty?"  He asked getting flustered. "Pretty as in what? Pretty smart? Pretty nice?"

"No pretty as in the definition of being attractive in a delicate way."

"Oh..." Gray and Juvia looked at each other. She was trying to hide of her now blood red cheeks while he was sweating like a pig. He opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was: "Uh...Uh...Uh..."

"I rest my case." Erza said with smirk.

"Back to the subject at hand." Juvia said looking away from him. "What Erza means is Lucy said she doesn't want a boyfriend but that's not true because she's still crushing on Natsu."

"How can you tell?" Gray asked as he tried to wipe his sweaty palms on his shirt.

"I've known her since grade school and when two girls know each other as long as we have you pick up things."

 "Also she wakes up every Sunday morning at dawn just to go to down to the beach and watch him surf." Erza said. "We've both seen her do it."

"So if she still likes him why not date him?" 

"She wants to go out with him but she doesn't think she can handle having a boyfriend with the whole mermaid thing." Juvia explained. "She thinks it's too irresponsible."

"A teenager thinking anything is too irresponsible? What is this, the Twilight Zone?"

"It's unusual but that's how she is. You know ever since we were little she's always tried to be responsible and in control. I mean it wasn't that bad when we really young but after her mom died she just went into full mature mode. She's never wanted to leave anything to chance or take risks. And unfortunately any kind of relationship besides friendship is too big of a risk. To her that is."

"So she's never going to date?"

"Not as long as she's a mermaid and she doesn't think Erza and I should date either. She won't try to stop us mind you but she'll advise against it."

"Not that there's anyone around here I want to date." Erza said. "There are literally no decent guys in this whole town. The lot of them are either stupid or jerks or both."

"What about me?" Gray said. "I'm not stupid or a jerk."

"Yeah but you're too nerdy for me."

"Hey!"

"Don't take it as an insult. There are girls who find nerds attractive I'm just not one of them. I also don't find jocks attractive either. In fact I'm certain that strawberry cake is the only love of my life."

"The point is I think that we should try to get Lucy to go on a second date with Natsu." Juvia said. "If she doesn't grab a chance at romance when she can she won't be able to enjoy life and she'll become a recluse who everyone thinks is creepy. Like me."

"Oh come on nobody thinks you're creepy." Gray said.

"The bathroom rumor is still alive and well."

"Oh really? I thought that died down back in ninth grade."

"What's the bathroom rumor?" Erza asked.

"When we were in middle school some people thought it was a little weird that Juvia was so pale." 

"And others found it to be off putting." Juvia said. "So Minerva came up with the immortal rumor that I did not survive the Magnolia tsunami and that I was a ghost and that if you said my name three times in front of a bathroom mirror I would drown you in a toilet."

"And people believed that?" Erza said.

"Some still do." She sighed. "So I maybe doomed to be seen as a creepy pariah but I will do whatever I can to prevent Lucy from suffering that fate."

"But she's not going to go out with him again." Gray said.

"She might if we talk to her and explain all the good things that could come from starting a relationship with him."

"Or better yet trick her into going on a date with him." Erza suggested. "We invite her to go with us for a girl's night out and bring her to a particular location, Gray brings Natsu to that same location, the three of us come up with an excuse to flee scene, and voila! They're on a date."

"Isn't that a little dishonest?" Juvia asked.

"Maybe but it'll work better than talking. You know how stubborn Lucy is. Words will not work in this situation. Actions however might."

"But if we lie to her she'll be mad."

"Technically we won't be lying. We'll tell her that us three will be going out Saturday night and that's true. We will go out at night but not all three of us will stay together for the whole night. So not a lie."

"But it still sounds like deceit."

"So? Parents use deception on their kids all the time. Santa Clause, Tooth fairy, reverse psychology. It's all deceit and lies but they still do it anyway."

"She has a point there." Gray said. "Remember when Porlyusica used to tell us that if we didn't do our chores a giant pig monster would hold us prisoner in the city dump? It was a lie but because we believed it we always did our chores and learned to be more responsible."

"Yes but Romeo believed it so well that he developed a fear of pigs and to this day he still won't set foot on a farm or go anywhere near a petting zoo." Juvia said. 

"Oh yeah I forgot about that."

"And need I remind you of the Halloween incident where pig faced mask criminals was considered the most popular costume at the time?"

"Please don't. My left leg still has bruises from where he clung to it for six hours."

"Okay but Lucy is not a little kid." Erza said. "She's a rational girl and if we pull a little trick on her it won't scar her for life."

"I guess not." Juvia said. "And if it is to help her I suppose there's no harm in it."

"Great. So here's the plan."