HOW TO GET FAMOUS

Chapter 1

TUESDAY MARCH 2ND

4.30 p.m. Hi, Cloud Nine,

Hope you're feeling really well. You're about to play a very special tape: MINE.

I have followed your instructions and limited myself to two minutes exactly. But I wasn't sure which of my many talents to show you. That is why I've jumped from telling a joke to an impression of an extremely angry sheep. I can also do cats, dogs, ducks and elephants and in a whole variety of moods too. My tape ends with a cartwheel.
He just ait back and enjoy From, bey Tyler a name to remember

Now Cloud Nine is this new talent chee for young stars of the future (ages 10 15 And after watching my tape I was certain Cloud Nine would get all excited and say Hey, here's a boy who can do jokes, animal impressions and cartwheels. We must sing him up noise.

But today, my ever-so-friendly letter and audition tape has come back in the stamped addressed envelope provided by me chut which I never, ever thought they'd

They had also thrown in this unsigned card It said: Sorry, you haven't been chosen to appear on Cloud Nine this time. But thank you for your interest, and don't forget to look out for this great new show, will you?

The card was so annoyingly cheerful I hurled it across my bedroom, just as my mum popped her head round the door

"Look at the mess you're making,' she cried I'm sorry, but one card nestling on the carpet is not a mess. I didn't argue thoughTo grief tricken instead informed her what had happened She didn't even pretend to look shocked, just said, 'Oh. I expect they had hundreds of tapes sent to them. Then she asked me what homework I had tonight. Cheers, Mum, for being so understanding.

I wondered suddenly if Georgia wed med each other's audition pieces with her mum's camcorder - had also received wuch a gruesome parcel.

Should I ring her?

445 p.m.

Actually, Georgia rang me. Are you in receipt of a containing -? foul-looking package

"Yeah, yeah, yeah,' I interrupted. But my mum says not to worry, she

cried, because they haven't possibly got the time to look at them all. . they just ... pick out a few tapes and ignore the rest Well your mum certainly knows about

show business. So we haven't actually

been rejected at all,' I went on Oh no, my mum was quite firm about that - we just haven't had our chance yet. How lucky Georgia was to have such a

very wise mum, I thought. Then I said,Well I'm relieved we haven't been ejected, house 1 thought my audition tpe was quite marvellions Then I added And vours was pretty good too'

You're too kind.'

1 know

So my mum says we mustn't

despondent.

Cheering words, even if Georgia did sound pretty despondent while she wan using them.

Lalle is very hard when you should be insanely famous - and you aren't. So I'm walting, very patiently, to be discovered Georgia is too. She told me she's been acting in plays and going to acting classes since she was four. .that's eight whole years. You'd have thought someone would have spotted her bright shining talent by now.

As for me: well, my last acting role was playing the fourth shepherd in a nativity play. To improve my very dull part I threw in an impression of a lamb who was lost and baaing for help. Personally, I thought it was the highlight of the whole play, and it certainly got a huge laugh. But instead of thanking me afterwards for livening