He Had It Coming

Prologue

I didn't mean to do it. I didn't even realize I actually could. I guess it was a natural instinct, like some animal part in me revealing itself. That's not to say I don't regret it though. I do, of course I do. At least I think I do. I might say it was defense, that I was just trying to save myself, that it was a horrible accident in a moment of panic gone wrong. I might label myself the victim, an innocent schoolgirl who defended herself from a horrific crime. Maybe they would believe it in court. Maybe I wouldn't go to court. Maybe there was another option. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe is a dangerous game.

A memory of my father telling me that there was always a second option crossed my mind. "Always two choices you can make, Saoirse," He used to tell me. "it's never all black and white." I don't think he meant it this way though. Something tells me he was trying to motivate me, not encourage me to commit a crime. I knew what I had done. I was fairly aware. I tried to calm myself, but I didn't need it, not really. I wasn't worried, which I guess I should have thought was at least slightly concerning, considering the situation, but it didn't cross my mind at that moment. Not much I could do anyway. What's done is done. My biggest concern was what I was going to do at that moment. I could lay out the facts. Facts always worked. They are reliable. They don't stab you in the back like the popular girls who try a little too hard to be slags, and they don't twist and turn and break like the sickly thought of a typical high school relationship. They don't change. So here are the facts:

My name is Saoirse Kelly

I live in Donegal, Ireland

I'm 17

And last Friday, I killed someone