The never ending pain

pain

This is a story about us. Me and my childhood friend... if u can call it that.... when our moms first met, they became friends pretty easily so they, my mom inko and her friend mitsuki, introduced us to each other. Im izuku midorya and he... he is a person that was special to me. He's name is katsuki bakugou. He has blonde hair and red eyes. We were so close that nobody could bring us apart. I even gave him a nickname "kacchan".We had so many sleepovers. Until one day... me, kacchan and his friends were walking on a log. He fell and i got so scared that my body moved on it's own,i had to check if he was ok. I don't know why but he thought that i was looking down on him when i only wanted to help. But that is where the hell started. After that day, he started bullying me. He threatened to kill me and told me that i was a useless piece of sh*t. Long story short, that was my life until middle school. He said that nobody needed me and that i should just jump from the building because im useless. U might say "but u said that it was your life like that so nothing really changed right?" But no. That day, something clicked in me. I almost did it but i stopped. Fast forward we're in the same high school. It's called UA high school. It's the best in japan. That is where kacchan made more friends. He had he's own squad and stuff. One of the members named kirishima was he's best bro from the first day. By each passing moment, they were getting closer and closer. I was happy that kacchan found someone who he can finally trust, but i was also jealous. After all these years of me trying my best to become his friend, kirishima just needed 1 week to be closer than me. I had romantic feelings for him since we first met, but i guess it's not meant to be. They were so close that bakugou even let kirishima touch him. What am i talking about, they were hugging close. I got so jealous that my mind went blank. I wanted to be able to be with him too. So i tried to get closer to him. But as soon as he noticed me, he pushed me away and started yelling. "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING YOU D*MN NERD"- he said, i replied-"what do u think im doing huh? Playing barbies? Dancing tango? No im trying to become closer to YOU. U'll say that u don't need someone as shitty as me but have you ever thought about what i need? Have you ever thought of how i felt when u threatened to kill me? When i was scared that you'd really do that? Of course you didn't. Why would u care about someone like me." Everyone was staring at us but I couldn't care less. I didn't give a flying f*ck what others would say, i just needed to get this off of me. " did you know that i had romantic feeling for you since we met? That every hate that you sent is still saved in my broken like bones heart? Did you know that every time i tried to forget you, you did something that would bring these emotions back? Did you know that i had millions of panic attacks because of you?"- i said. Everybody's jaws were already on the floor. I started crying my heart out and screaming. Kacchan- i mean bakugou was looking at me like he has never EVER thought about me being hurt like this. Me:"WHAT HAVE WE BECOME??!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" I fell on my knees and started to mumble some stuff under my breath. Bakugou:"deku if u don't shut up right now and stop being a cry baby i will make my promise come true." Me:" THEN DO IT! WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK? NOTHING SO JUST KILL ME! PLEASE... please.... someone kill me.... "by the time this was happening, some of our classmates called mister aizawa and he calmed us down. After that I didn't even look at bakugou. I didn't speak or do anything productive. I just gave up. My emotions were all long time gone. Teachers tried to help me but i didn't speak. I don't know why bakugou did this to me, maybe it was a way of protecting his own feelings from them getting broken, or maybe it was a way if feeling cool. But whatever that is... it's already in the past and it can't be changed. I wrote a latter to him. I explained everything and wrote this in the end:"katsuki bakugou. If you're seeing this... then know that im sorry... i won't be a burden anymore. Hope you will become the #1 hero as you wanted.

-love, deku.

I gave it to him and went to the UA roof top. I stepped on the edge and jumped. It's a story of my death, did i mention this in the beginning? I finally found my peace.