Loving hurts (Discontinued)

Chapter 11

Harry's POV

I walk into the hall and the first thing I hear is a WOOOOO. I mean of course they have fun without me. I grab some water and put on my trainers. "Where are you going?" I hear an irish accent ask from the kitchen bench.

"For a jog." I say not looking up. I finish tying my shoes, and grab my jacket. I start to head out the door when a banana is blocking the path. I almost fall backwards but a hand presses against my back. I look up at the person holding out the oblong fruit. Louis. "Take it you probably won't be back for a while and then we have the interviews and signing and stuff so it's better if you eat it now."

"Thanks i guess." I look at the food and quickly grab it. I go to walk out the door but end up falling over someone else's shoes. "Fuck," i whisper under my breath. I go to stand up and see Louis looking worried with his hand out for me to grab. I just ignore it and stand up anyway. "You ok?" he asks. I look at his face and I swear I see laughter in his eyes. Of course no one can be worried about me no one would even care about me if i fell into a river would they. They would just laugh. I realise I have been staring at him for a bit and quickly get up without his help. Dusting off my arms I say "I'm fine. Bye see you later." quickly and i'm out the door.

I head to my car ignoring the screaming fans. They shout pointless things like I love you and is Louis there? but one shout stands out to me.

"I wish you would just leave the band already there's no point in you being here. Just dig yourself a hole and die in it. F*ggot!" I stop in my tracks and turn around. Everyone is deathly silent. I feel the blood draining from my face and I quickly turn and get in the car. I press my horn a few times before slowly starting to drive. I turn on the radio and hear Kiss you start to play. I turn it off and continue driving. I don't understand how people can like the music. I ruin it. I don't even understand why they give me solos. With the radio off i just drive

I pull up to a random park where no one is around apart from a few old people walking around. I walk out and plug in my headphones. Locking the car I start to run. I left the banana in the car. As I run I close my eyes and just listen to the music.

After about an hour I needed to head back to the car. I only ran into 2 fans. They said stuff like "I love you" but then a sister of theirs came up and ruined it. "Why are you hanging around this freak. Let's go Beatrix. You suck and shouldnt even be in the band you fag. Beatrix, I said we have to go. I can make a smoothie if we leave now."

"I'm coming, I'll be there in one sec." as Aiden stormed away Beatrix looked back at me scared and sorry. "Im sorry they're such a prick. I have to go. Bye it was nice talking to you." Beatrix says as Aiden leans against what I presume to be their car. "Yeah you too." i say and they both ran off.

When I got in the car, I saw the banana sitting on the seat and I quickly grabbed it. I then jogged to the closest bin and chucked it in it. I just want to be skinny. I mean that's what louis likes right. Tall skinny girls that eat basically nothing and weigh even less. I just shake my head and walk back to the car. When I get in I quickly make sure that the aircon isn't on. Lately I've been getting cold a lot quicker than I used to but I mean it gives me an excuse to wear more longs sleeves.

I get to the house and quickly walk inside ignoring everyone. I walk inside and quickly head to my room chucking off my shoes at the door. I grab some clothes for today and hear louis laughing and niall is squealing in the kitchen. Liam is trying to tell them off and Zayn is chilling on his phone. I shout "I'm home." but none of them notice me. I walk into the room and write a note.

I'm home just having a shower tell me when we have 10 minutes before we leave. H- :)

It's kinda funny I signed a smiley face when I'm definitely not smiley. The things the girl said at the park actually hit me today. Normally I can brush off comments once someone says sorry even if it wasn't the person that told the horrible things to me in the first first place.

I walk into my room to get some clothes (see above) from the pile on the end of my bed that is slowly getting bigger before walking into my bathroom. I grab my phone and connect it to the waterproof speaker in the shower. Yes we do have those. I put on Oasis and step into the shower bringing my blade with me. I stand with the hot water pouring onto my back and look down at my wrists. Scars littered my once pure skin. I keep staring until my eyes become sore. I push my blade across my wrist smiling as blood enters the water. I keep on pressing the blade onto my skin until I lose count of how many cuts I've made. I must've been standing in here for a while as Zayn shouts through the door. "We've got to go in 15 minutes so you might want to get out now if you want to be ready in time."

"Thanks, I'll be out in a minute." I shout back with that I hear his footsteps getting quieter as he moves away and out of my room. I step out of the shower and grab some bandages. Before I moved here Gemma gave me a med kit saying that it would always be there when I need it as long as I keep it stocked. I don't think she thought it would be used for this. I quickly bandage my wrists and apply pressure hoping to stop the bleeding before I get out of the bathroom. After 3 minutes that I have spent, my hair is dryish and the cuts have stopped bleeding.

I turn off the music and get dressed. I tug on a grey top and pull over a bright orange jumper to make sure no blood comes through. I quickly leave the bathroom and go downstairs.

Zayn is bent over a cup of coffee, Liam is staring angrily at his phone, Niall is eating a massive bowl of cheerios and Louis is nowhere to be found.

"Alright boys, let's go. We haven't got all day!" Paul shouts through the door. I grab my shoes and shout back. "Coming, one sec." and quickly shove my shoes on.

As we drive to the interview I sit on the window seat at the back of the bus and plug my earphones in and start playing my music to drown out the fans screams and the Pauls voice telling us what we can or can't talk about, where we are going and stuff about our performance, I didn't understand most of before I fell asleep. " Hey, Harry. We are here." I hear a soft voice whisper in my ear.