Fixing Myself (One Shot)

Fixing Myself

The crystal waves hit her bare feet, shattering like glass. She sat on the Central California beach, in the sunny early September weather, reminiscing over moments lost. They would never get to see her graduate high school or turn 18 in 7 months. A lone tear slipped down her olive, freckled skin as she breathed in the cool, salty ocean air. She used to think that sobs were the worst kind of tears, but now she knew that the worst kind of tears were from your soul, a quiet weeping that no one could hear.

"Annie," her dad gruffly called out with a faint Arabic accent, "Come help me fold some chairs."

She sent one last glance to the vast ocean and turned towards her father's voice. As she trudged up the worn, crooked wooden steps, her huge, golden hoop earrings jingling, she wondered if things would get better as all the pitying people at the funeral had claimed. She started mechanically folding the chairs they would probably never use again, lining them against the raised platform. Tears pricked at her eyes as she glanced back to her mom and her brother Ames's caskets. This death had changed them all, and it was all her fault. If she had just swerved when that car came their way, then her family would still be alive. She leaned against a chair, and it collapsed. Frustrated, she fought off the tears that insisted on coming, but it was no use. She was a sobbing mess who couldn't even fold chairs right.

"Annie?" a voice tentatively called her name. She looked back and saw Mercy walking her way. "Are you here?"

"Over here," Annie stumbled over the words between sobs, and her 5'1" frame shook.

"Oh my!" Mercy took in Annie's damp skin to which her deep brown hair clung, and she knelt close to Annie, helping her up. Mercy was working to earn her certificate to open a psychology office, and Annie often relied on her in the days after the death, including now.

A week later, her father put his foot down about going to school. "You have to go," he chided gently, "you should value your education, and this is your last year of high school." Now, as she walked into the kitchen, she saw her mother at the new electric stove, scrambling eggs.

"Come sit," her mother called her over to the small kitchen table, and she saw her brother strolling into the kitchen.

Suddenly, behind her, her father tapped her on the shoulder, "Annie?". She blinked, quickly, five times, and the figures slowly returned to thin air as the smell of cooking eggs vanished.

"Huh, oh, yup, Dad..." she tripped over her words, slightly confused, and held onto the kitchen counter to steady herself. "Hey..." she collected herself as she greeted her dad, "Good morning."

"Good morning Annie, I just wanted to tell you that we don't have anything to eat, so you can stop somewhere and get something. Okay?"

"Sure Dad," Annie nodded, suddenly she asked, "Doesn't the kitchen seem so empty without Mom and Ames?"

"Sure does Annie, but what can we do? I just wanna get out of the house." her dad shrugged, indifferent. "Do you need a ride to school?"

Annie nodded vigorously, she wasn't ready to drive a car anytime soon after what happened. "Okay, well then be in the car in five minutes, and we'll still have time to drive through at Starbucks before school."

"K Dad!"

At school, everyone was giving her these pitying looks, as if the looks would soften the blow. After Math class, she walked the empty hallways (she had to stay late for Ms. Peterson) and she saw her brother at the locker next to hers, and he sent an inviting smile her way. She shook her head, blinking, her brother was dead, yet he looked so real in front of her. He disappeared, but the tears tracing her cheeks were very real. Her breath shallowed as she remembered her brother, she shifted so she was leaning on the lockers and slid down.