𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐭. 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐲

he likes st. patrick's day
and late night phone calls
and the way he sounds
over a voicemail.
he hates his hair color
and wishes that he could
just float away most days.
he reminds me of
spring and of the beautiful
blue skies of april.
he puzzles me with his elaborate
vocabulary and his
confident gait and smile.
he talks too loudly and distracts me
like some kind of beautiful
sunrise distracts a sleepless sailor.
his big brown eyes made
me wish i could just melt through
the pavement beneath me.
he is tall and proud of his mom and
never utters a curse word.
he acts like a fool and i have to disguise
my laughs with coughs so that
my friends don't think i feel anything
for him.
his goofy smirk makes me wish
i could fall in love with him but his
posey reminders me that i can't.
his voice is sweet like the
poison i place in my head trying to
remind myself that he would never
want someone like me.
he would want someone
thin,
blonde,
athletic,
and
named what i am
but spelled odd.
and she'd take him in a heartbeat.
but she doesn't like st. patrick's day
or late night phone calls.
she doesn't even like herself but she'll
never say that to anyone except
herself.
but he doesn't see that. he sees
someone who is more than enough
and perfect in every single way.
and i wish he saw me that way.

written on: march 8th, 2021