Alana's List (An Epistolary)

89

Zurich Ramos

6:01am

Alana:

I think I have answers now, Mama Zuri.

Zuri:

WTF, did you spend your whole night thinking about it?

Say no, Alana. Please.

Alana:

Of course not. Nakaidlip ako kanina. My sleep was probably 2 hours.

Zuri:

Okay. Ano ulit 'yon?

Alana:

I realized that I like him.

I like Atreus Graciano.

Zuri:

Hindi na nakakagulat, bb.

Alana:

I doubted my feelings at first but earlier, I thought of things.

Natatakot kasi ako na sabihin na gusto ko siya because we're at this age. Madalas kong marinig sa seniors natin kung gaano sila nag lo-look down sa freshmens because 'yung iba may boyfriends na.

But then I realized things that made my point of view change.

They're hating us for liking someone, for loving. Malalandi daw, maharot, batang bata pa.

I get it that the others are really toxic about it, nakiki-uso lang and for fame I suppose? That's the part that I won't take. May iba talagang toxic regarding that.

It wasn't our fault we fell inlove. I am not talking about this because I am inlove too, I am talking on behalf of those people who doesn't seemed to understand personal feelings at all.

Why are they hating us for liking or loving someone? why don't they hate our feelings? dahil in the first place, ito 'yung nararamdaman natin eh.

It wasn't our age, it wasn't our grade.

Can you blame a nine year old for having feelings towards someone? would you blame a thirteen year old for loving?

No, don't.

Everyone in any age can feel something for someone, either love nor hate. Don't blame the others for your toxic mindset. Lahat tayo pwedeng may maramraman, the only problem here is when we fall in love, either you're still an elementary, it wasn't the right time.

Do you get my point, Mama Zuri? the only reason why a relationship can't last on the people who's deeply inlove was it wasn't the right time for them to fall in love, kahit gaano ka ka-mature, kahit gaano kayo ka understanding sa isa't isa.

It makes no different at all if you compare an adult's love and a children's love.

They're both lack at knowledge but the feelings are same.

Oh my gosh am I really saying this?

Zuri:

I'm speechless, Alana.

Nag-seminar ka sa akin, agang aga.

I'm in awe by your thoughts.

You sounded so different. It feels weird thinking about you talking about love since I see you as one of my purest innocent friend.

You're upgrading. I'm so proud of you, Alana.

Maybe you won't hear answers from me about your thoughts since I still haven't experience loving someone but maybe soon.

Just stand up on what you think is right. Kung saan ka naniniwala.

Sorry to ruin the mood but, you only have 2 hours of sleep. Paano ka papasok? kulang na kulang ang tulog mo.

Alana:

Huhu. I love you, Mama Zuri! 😭

It's okay. Wala rin akong planong pumasok. The reason I also have the courage to stay up late is that I know that I am not going to class.

Zuri:

Hindi ka papasok? bakit?

Alana:

I'm at a hospital. The usual.

seen.