"I thought about it Tina, but I cannot. People won't get the point." Vera sighed.
Tina frowned and said, "Why wouldn't they? You are talking about a part that's important for your being, look you have to come out eventually."
Vera looked at her hands on her lap, small droplets falling on her red palms. Tina sat beside her and rubbed soothing circles on her back and said, "Look, if you cannot be yourself then what is the point in living? This is your world too and you have the full right to be yourself."
Vera looked at her sister through glazed eyes and whispered, "I tried to correct myself. I tried to put my full attraction on boys only but somehow I got driven towards girls too. Why am I like this?"
Tina was about to speak when she got cut off by Vera's phone ringing. Vera glanced at her phone and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Tina understood whose call it was as she asked, "Do you want me to take that for you?" She kept her movements on Vera's back in hope to calm her. Vera looked uncertain until she responded with an "okay" and Tina reached over to take the call for her.
In came a soft and melodious voice which could be heard through the loud in call volume, "Hey are you okay?"
Tina looked at Vera for a second before tearing her gaze away and focusing on the wall in front of her and said,"Hi Sia, how are you?"
There was a brief silence on the other end before came the reply, "Oh I'm sorry I didn't understand that it was you, well I'm good. Is Vera around?"
Her voice lacked emotion and she knew too well to hide it because she couldn't show her disgust towards Tina. Tina understood as she kept a cold edge in her voice as she replied, "No she isn't around. Why are you calling anyways?"
Vera gasped at the tone of her sister as she grasped her sister's hand but Tina only looked at her but continued in the same monotone, "Haven't you done enough?"
Sia could feel her resolute cracking as she said ,"I'm coming over."
And she hung up. Tina was about to shut her out but couldn't get the opportunity.
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" Vera exclaimed as Tina kept the phone aside. Tina said, "I don't like her Vera, she isn't a good influence. You have to understand."
Vera's eyes stung with tears as she managed to choke out,"But she is the one for whom I want to come out —"
Tina cut her off by standing abruptly and spat, "You don't have to come out for her because she isn't worth it. She won't be there with you in the long run."
Vera stood up as well, exhaustion rolling off her composure and said, "No, she would be. But I'm a damn coward to think that I don't want to come out. But I don't want to loose her," she paused and averted her eyes to the ground and said quietly but Tina heard her, "I'm falling for her."
Tina was about to talk some sense into her when the front door bell rung signaling Sia's arrival. Tina stomped out of the room before Vera could get the opportunity to get to the door so Vera stayed behind leaning against the wall beside the door of her room as she waited for their exchange.
For a long moment there wasn't any word exchanged between the two and Vera thought that Sia wasn't there in the first place because Sia's voice maybe soft and sweet but she was loud. So Vera peeked through her door and she could see the silhouette of her sister and Sia's glaring eyes boring holes into Tina's head. Vera thought that this could be it,her parents could come anytime through that door and hear everything and to make matters worse, the girls weren't even concerned about that. As soon as Vera thought of going downstairs, she heard Tina's malice filled tone directed at Sia, "What the hell is wrong with you? You think this shit story about loving my sister will get you somewhere."
Sia wasn't backing down by the way her eyes turned darker and she coldly answered, "Vera is something of worth to me. And I know well to take care of her."
Tina snorted and asked incredulously, "Oh yeah? How would you do that without hurting her?" Sia scoffed mocking Tina's words and said, "Well isn't it surprising that you are suddenly so concerned about your sister? When she was stuck in the ferris wheel crying for help, you were busy ignoring her calls so that you could make out with your boyfriend and when she was about to get suspended from her dance classes, you were just standing within the crowd so that you weren't dragged into the mess and now suddenly," she paused and smiled crookedly at Tina and continued," I'm wondering is it some kind of shit sympathy you are showing to pull her to you?"
All this words were painfully ringing in Vera's ears as she was reminded of all the dreadful situations she found herself in. The day at the fair when she got stuck in the ferris wheel due to some glitches, and she feared for her life because she was so scared of heights but she couldn't reach out to her sister who happened to be at the same place. And the day when she was framed for being rude to a senior and Tina wasn't there to stand for her. But at the same time what was she reminded of was, every dreadful event that had ever happened to her always led her to Sia. And that itself made her stomach churn in a delightful way. Her attention got snapped as the words resonated loudly through the house and with a whimper she rushed inside the bathroom. She couldn't breathe. Not when she knew that her sister didn't care enough for her, she couldn't breathe when she understood that she had fallen for a girl and that girl could ruin her life but she couldn't breathe mostly because she wanted her life to be ruined because of the girl. She wanted to float away into a world of nothingness and peace and she knew that she could only experience that if she could have the girl. So with a hope and a fear she slid against the cold wall of the bathroom and weeped. Her weeps got converted into heaving sobs as her sane self pointed the tragic consequences.
This emptiness that her heart filled with wasn't something she had ever felt before. Not even when she suffered from a break up in her first relationship with Herman and not even when she found that she was attracted to both boys and girls and that she won't be accepted by her own parents who were homophobic. But this emptiness was different as it brought hopes too and also giddiness which was why she eventually drifted into a soothing darkness as her eyes drooped slowly.
Suddenly a soft shake made Vera stir up in her sleep. She groaned and blinked a few times as the brightness blinded her sight for a moment. She sat up straighter and a pain shot through her neck down her spine. Must be the way she slept but why did she sleep here in the first place, she turned her head towards the direction where she felt the force that woke her up and her eyes focused on a pair of soft green ones. They were peering down at her with so much love that she felt moments away from breaking down again.
"Hi", the owner of the green eyes said.
Vera sighed contently and replied, "Hi Sia."
Almost as sudden as a thunder, Vera's eyes snapped open and she turned towards Sia as the events rolled in from the evening, the way they were screaming, the way she felt hopeless and the way she felt that she was in love. Sia chuckled at her confused and flushed face and cupped her cheeks before saying, "Well, Princess time to get you to bed. Come on let's go."
Sia stood up and pulled Vera up carefully. Sia was mere two inches taller but Vera felt she was way too smaller. Sia took Vera to bed and tucked her in before guiding her hand through Vera's soft fringes on the forehead. Vera sighed softly and closed her eyes. The soothing feeling of Sia's hands in her hairs made her feel calm. Vera whispered, "Where is Tina? She would he mad if she—"
Sia cut her off by pressing her fingers on Vera's lips. Vera's eyes snapped open and she blushed furiously and Sia smirked and said, "Tina won't bother you. You are safe with me Princess and no one would dare to take you away from me ever again. I love you."
Vera's eyes widened as she felt her cheeks go hot. She whispered breathlessly, "I don't want to go anywhere away from you. I love you too."
And Sia sighed in relief and rested her forehead against Vera's as both of them waited but was prepared for the storm yet to come their way.
