Daffodil's Sunshine

Chapter 11 - Inevitable Mistakes

4 months. It had been 4 months since Irene last saw Areum in person, when she entered the plane and Irene could do nothing except wonder when Areum was coming back.

She thought it wouldn't be all that bad. That, as long as they kept in contact, having phone calls and playing games, it would all be alright.

She was wrong. Terribly wrong. The more they talked, the more Irene wanted to hold her again. The more she wanted to hear her voice next to her, rather than thousands of miles apart.

And in her heart, as the long days came by, a particular, indescribable feeling formed, one that she couldn't recognize or ignore. She wondered what it was, going as far as to check her heart rate whenever certain things occurred. It was akin to riding on a rollercoaster, or going bungee jumping, or eating some ice cream when you haven't had some in months due to the long, harsh winter. It was a warmth that made her feel scared, yet safe at the same time.

What was it?

All that she knew was that whatever it was, it was getting stronger, and it made her want to see Areum even more. To grip onto her smaller hands and not let go.

...

Jumping around from place to place, like a bird desperate for survival, Areum continued to travel everywhere but Norway. It wasn't her own choice, and she let Irene know that. There were only shows available in other European countries, and none of them felt quite the same.

She loved the children and loved playing music for them, that was for sure. But there was something missing that she couldn't quite put her finger to, and she was sure that Irene had taken it from her. Not something physical like a wallet, but something else.

And that scared her.

She wanted to go up to Irene and demand an explanation, as to why her heart felt so heavy and why so many of the songs she wrote now had to do with love, but if Areum didn't understand her own feelings, she was sure Irene would understand even less.

It hurt her.

It hurt to know that of all people, Irene had to be stuck with her. An unattractive, awkward mess of a musician.

Ever since Hea died, she felt like she was dropped into a vast maze, where the walls were made of mirrors that reflected every possible flaw about her being. Everytime she tried to take a turn, she would hit a mirror and fall backward. Nothing was truly in her control, and she hated that.

She didn't want Irene to suffer. Not like she had to when she saw Hea's mangled body stuck in the tracks of the subway. Not like when her father fell ill, unable to recognize their faces anymore.

Something had to change. Irene would have to have a weak grip on Areum, so that when Areum falls from her life, Irene wouldn't also be dragged down into a pit of darkness.

That's what had to happen.

...

"So, which ones would you like, young lady?" said the employee, holding up two large, white coats. Once had a larger hood than the other, but the other was made of a much thicker material.

"I'll take the second one," Irene answered. The employee smiled and left, beginning to check out everything else they had placed on the counter.

"Psst. What about everything in the cart?" Casper whispered, pushing the cart along as Irene browsed for more clothing, comparing her selections to the size of her own body. They were only about ⅔ of her own size. Perfect.

She picked out some underwear.

Her brother flushed a bright red. "Hey hey hey, slow down! We don't know about that yet!"