I don't remember when my life truly began. My memory has gotten worse over the years from drug abuse. Most of my teen years were lost to mental illness and addiction. True happiness never came for me.
Maybe it was somewhere between the guys that used me and the way I used myself. Maybe it was between the overwhelming sense of numbness and the unbearable pain. Either way, I never found it.
The first time I tried DPH, I felt something I hadn't before. It was like all of my problems went away as delirium took me away from the cold reality of it all. I knew from the first time that I'd like it too much.
Most people don't, however. The hallucinations are often scary and the lethargy is so strong that it physically hurts to move at times. I still remember taking it as a way to get closure with my dead great grandma. I went into the trip with a purpose, to see her.
I heard her yelling at me, "Gracie why did you let this happen to grandma?"
She had pancreatic cancer. I told her she'd beat it. She didn't. Before she died she had said some hurtful things so me and my mom stopped talking to her. In a way, I regret never bringing myself to talk to her after that, but I also don't because I know I was the last thing on her mind as she died.
I eventually got sober, but not before I nearly ruined my relationship with my family. Honestly, it took my sanity away from me. Unfortunately though, as an addict I could always relapse. I guess you could say I've got Benadryl for brains.
I make jokes about my probable brain damage because I might as well laugh than cry about it.
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Benadryl for Brains
General FictionHi, my name is Gracie and I'm an addict. My drug of choice? Something in most of our medicine cabinets, Benadryl, DPH, whatever you want to call it. Where did my life go wrong? It's hard to pinpoint. How did I get here? Well, that's a long story. *...
