All's Fair in Love and One Direction

24: All's Fair in Candyland & Prank Calls

Chapter 24

I suggest that we spend the day in our pajamas doing absolutely nothing; it is 12 already, anyways. But Liam suggests that we have a board game marathon. Of course, Liam's flat is fully stocked and ready for a board game marathon.

"MONOPOLY!" I love Monopoly.

"THE GAME OF LIFE!" Louis insists.

"MONOPOLY."

"LIFE."

I evilly stare right into his blue eyes. "Monopoly."

"What about CandyLand?" Liam shrugs. "But we could make it more fun by having the loser do a dare or something."

Now I'm interested. We all agree to play Candy Land; loser gets punished by the rest of the group. Liam leaves the room and promptly returns with our chosen board game. We sit down in front of the TV, which is showing 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'. Zayn and I begin to sort through cards.

Then, without saying a word, Zayn puts his cards down, stands, and leaves the flat.

I let out a soft sigh.

Why do I have such strong feelings about Zayn smoking? Maybe it's because Zayn has an indescribably beautiful voice and every time he goes to smoke a cigarette, I think about how much he's damaging his gift. Maybe it's because it reminds me of my childhood, my parents, my mom, and I love him like he's my brother and I only want the best for him, not lung cancer. But maybe it isn't any of my business and I should let him be happy doing whatever he wants.

I resolve to talk with him at some point in the future.

*************

"HA HA, I GOT TO THE WEIRD WOMAN AT THE END FIRST!" Liam triumphantly throws his fist in the air.

The remaining five of us frantically scramble to take our turns and get to the end. Whatever this punishment will be, none of us want to be the victim of it.

Harry finishes.

I finish.

Zayn finishes.

Louis and Niall are the only two left. Louis draws a card and a proud smirk spreads across his face.

"Looks like our wittle bitty Nialler has lost the game of Candy Land." Louis laughs.

Niall sighs and asks what he has to do. We turn away from him and form a huddle. Louis thinks we should have him prank call someone.

"Who should prank call?" Zayn pauses and glances at Louis." It can't be anyone we know personally because of the time when Louis and Harry gave out someone's phone number to the entire world."

What's sad is that I know exactly what they're talking about. "I know! What is a store here that's like Walmart in America? It is Christmas so they have to be a pretty big chain to be open..."

"Tesco's, I guess" Zayn answers.

"Okay ... So you're going to prank call Tesco's and-"

I'm cut off by Harry. "-and ask what the largest size bra they carry is! If they ask you which size you're looking for, say that it is a source of self-confidence issues, and you'd rather not tell!" I would have been mad at him if the idea wasn't so hilarious.

Liam and I can't stop laughing.

"That... Is a brilliant idea." Liam admits.

"Oh, yeah. And Niall, you cannot laugh at all throughout the entire thing." Harry challenges.

Wait, what? Telling Niall not to laugh is like ... telling Zayn never to look in the mirror again. It just isn't going to happen.

Ok, maybe that simile was really cliché and unrealistic. But you get it.

After a few seconds of fiddling around with his phone, trying to find Tesco's number, Niall taps speakerphone and waits.

Ring, ring. Ring, ring.

A middle-aged sounding man picks up. "Hello this is Gregory from Tesco's Customer Service, how may I help you?"

In a terrible attempt at a British woman's accent, Niall manages, "I need help ---" before diving away from the phone and into a pillow to muffle the sound of his laughter. I knew he couldn't do it. Louis takes over.

"Excuse me?" That poor man.

"I AM SAYING THAT I NEED HELP FINDING A BRASSIERE THAT WILL FIT ME." Louis sasses, continuing the woman's voice.

"Yes ma'am, what size are you looking for?"

Harry loses it. He grabs a pillow and soon his face is engulfed in it.

"JUST TELL ME THE BIGGEST SIZE YOU CARRY." How does Louis keep a straight face?

"Yes, ma'am... I'll be right back. Please hold." the phone beeps and then I cannot believe which song plays. It's What Makes You Beautiful. Since when do One Direction songs play on hold at Tesco's customer service? We all mouth the words, almost in disbelief at the coincidence, waiting for the guy on the other end to pick the phone back up. This reminds me ... They need to sing for me sometime ...

"Is a size F large enough, ma'am?" This man sounds more and more uncomfortable by the second.

"THAT IS WHY I NEVER CALL THIS COMPANY. YOU BELITTLE MY PROBLEMS AND TELL ME WHAT SIZE I SHOULD BE. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY SELF CONFIDENCE ISSUES I HAVE? DO YOU?"

"... No, ma'am ... I'm sorry if I've insulted you ... We can custom order a size FF if necessary ..."

Louis dramatically pretends to sob. "YOU JUST - HAVE NO IDEA - PROBLEMS - BRAS - INSECURITIES - MY LIFE IS SO HARD!"

"You know... Some women would be jealous about needing a bigger size bra than FF."

I'm the last one to break down in hysterical laughter.

"ARE YOUUUU JEALOUS, BOB?"

"I - um - what?"

"ARE YOU JEALOUS THAT I NEED AN EXTRAORDINARILY LARGE BRA?!"

"Um ... Sure ..."

"THANK YOU SO MUCH BOB I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF."

"That's ... Good."

"YES."

"... yes"

"YES"

"... goodbye ma'am."

"ARE YOU REJECTING ME?! WAIT BOB!"

"Merry Christmas, ma'am ..."

Louis hangs up and we all roll on the floor laughing together for the next few minutes. That was easily the most entertaining prank call I have ever witnessed. It wasn't much of a punishment for Niall, but no one really cares anymore.

This is the most amazing Christmas ever.

(A/N: It's Katie again. 😊 I like prank calling people. Can you tell?

I'm happy to tell you that these next few chapters will be a whirlwind of excitement. ;) I promise.

First person to comment on this chapter gets 6,756,789 points to Gryffindor.

- Katie<3)