In The Afterglow

CHAPTER ONE

       I put down my phone and grabbed a pillow to sit on my lap. I sighed. Marley looked at me. I rolled my eyes and pointed to my phone. She knew.
"Want to talk about it?" she asked
"Never."
She laughed.  Heidi came in with the takeout.
"Sushi's here!"
We hopped off the bed and walked up the stairs to the kitchen. Heidi's house was so nice. She has the basement all to herself and that's where we spend most of our nights. Her dad was working almost every night and being alone all the time was getting to her. We unpacked the food and Marley grabbed cups.
"Do you want water or lemonade Stella?"
"Lemonade" Stella said
"I'll have water M" I said
I put some fancy sushi roll in my mouth as Heidi tried to teach me how to properly use chopsticks.
"Your house is so creepy at night with all these windows" Stella said looking out at the balcony.
"Don't even say that, I won't sleep tonight!" Heidi said hitting Stella on the arm.
"My mom told me about a body they found on the highway this morning. In the back of some guys car." I said staring Heidi down.
"Blaire oh my God!" she said she choked on her lemonade.
"It just reminded me!" I laughed
"Hey we should watch a scary movie" Marley shouted.
        We walked over to the couch and I listened as they shouted out movie ideas until we landed on something we all didn't mind. The movie faded in and I faded out. I laid on my back with the edge of the couch lodged into my neck. Heidi has a huge bed downstairs but we always Jenga in together on her couch. I close my eyes and didn't think about anything my mind was urging me to think about. Letting the sound of my friends laughing at the scariest parts of the movie fill the silence. Eventually I fell asleep.
       I open my eyes to the sun coming through from every side of me. I set up and looked to see only Stella next to me. I heard talking coming from the kitchen. I put myself up and walked towards the voices to find Marley and Heidi making breakfast. Heidi's dad was asleep from his shift, I hadn't even heard him come in. Marley handed me a plate of pancakes and I walked to wake up Stella. We ate and talked about who stayed at the longest last night and what we were going to do today.
"Want some more b?"
"No I'm good."
I went downstairs to Heidi's room and checked my phone. 14 messages. One from my mom.
"When are you coming home?"
"I'm not sure, just woke up"
13 messages from Zack, my ex. Marley walked in behind me.
"You better not be texting him."
"Never" I replied.
I deleted the messages and put my phone down. I threw myself on the bed and Marley followed.
"You're quiet" Marley said
"I'm lost" I whispered back
"Maybe so, but we all are b."
I smiled and held up my pinky, and she grabbed it with hers. We've been doing this since we were little. An unspoken promise that we were there for each other no matter what. I've known Marley since kindergarten. We sit next to each other in almost every class since because our last names are close alphabetically. We were neighbors and our moms became friends through many soccer games. Watching both of us stand in the middle of the field while the balls kicked around us. We grew up together, and were part of each other's families.
Stella and Heidi came in.
"What's the plan guys?"
"I have homework I need to do before my dad kills me." Marley whined.
"I have work later." I said
"Ugh alright, thanks for coming over." Heidi said fixing up her bed.
"Anytime" I smiled.
I grabbed my bag and hugged Heidi and Stella as Marley and I walked out to my car. She played Lady Gaga on aux the whole way to her house, I knew she would. I stop at her house and she gets out.
"See you later B."
"Bye"
       I drive off to my house. Marley moved right after our freshman year. After her mom died. It's only a 15 minute drive from my house so we still hang out just as much. Her dad always hated the house she grew up in, something about nosy neighbors and HOA. After her mom died he didn't really have a reason to stay there. Marley and I were walking from the soccer field after my game when her dad called her. Marley put the phone on speaker as her dad tried to tell her clearly. He wasn't making a lot of sense but we knew something was wrong. We ran to my car and started driving. Marley was silent the entire ride. I dropped her off and pulled into my driveway to see my mom standing outside. I kept asking what was happening and my mom told me to come inside. Marley and I locked eyes before we both went inside our houses. My mom explained what was happening and everything went silent in my mind. A man who had been drinking ran a red light and collided into the side of Mrs. Taberas' car. I could hear her continue to speak but my brain just kept repeating the same words, buzzing over and over again, "There was an accident... The paramedics tried...". Tears began to drown me. She wouldn't let me go see Marley. I texted and called all night, she never answered. For the next week I'd go to her house and we'd sit in her room and not talk. A few weeks later there was a funeral. Marley didn't leave my side once that whole day. After the funeral I followed M into the bathroom, sliding down the wall to the floor hip to hip with her. Marley laid her head on my lap and held up her pinky.
       "There she is!" My dad says as I walk through the door. I smile and walk up to my room and start unpacking my bag. My phone beeps. New message from Zack. I lay on my bed and close my eyes flashing back to the night we broke up.
*"How much did you drink last night?" I ask
"Not that much, like 7 beers."
"7?? What in the world. You promised me you wouldn't get drunk ."
"I'm not drunk. And you're not my mom."
"Right. But you're allowed to tell me you don't want me drinking, or going out, or wearing what I want."
"Whatever."
"I'm tired of being walked over Zack. Do you even care that you broke a promise?"
"No."
"You don't care? Do you care about me?"
"I don't care Blaire. You always do this, you're so dramatic. I'm going to hangout with the boys."
"We're done. I mean it."*
       I feel tears falling down the sides of my face and raise up. I look in my mirror. I don't recognize the girl I'm seeing. Zack and I could never just be a good moment that lasts. It was fun in the beginning. He was so in love with me. It always took me a bit longer to fall for someone. I don't give in and open up very easily. We would go on dates and he'd text me paragraphs each night spilling out how much he liked me. Then he started telling me I couldn't talk to certain boys. He'd tell me in front of all of his friends to put on a jacket when I'm wearing some thing he deemed inappropriate and wouldn't talk to me until I did. Anytime I talk to him about the things he would say to me or how he would make me feel, he pulled this "I guess I'm just a terrible person then. I cant make a mistake with you. God Blaire you're so crazy, maybe we should take a break."  crap. A break meant I would call Marley and cry and she'd come over with sour straws and chocolate. And I'd walk out to my car at lunch in the school yard to see him in his car with some freshman girl he'd convinced was lucky enough to talk to him. He'd give me a sappy sorry and condescending no one will ever love you more than me text and we'd get back together. Everything fell apart in February though. He'd drop me off at my house, without a walk to my door or kiss good night. He'd tell me to stop when I tried to hold his hand in front of his friends. He'd post photos of girls from our school with his friends and rate how hot they were. Finally I cracked. I was drained.
*"Zack why?" I held up the pictures
"Oh my god you're so dramatic!"
"I'm not! This is disrespectful!"
"You're crazy Blaire"*
I grabbed my phone and went to the messages. 11 messages from him.
"Can we talk?"
"Please Blaire"
"I miss you"
"b?"
"Oh so you're going to be like that. I don't know why I even try"
"This is so like you"
I stopped reading. I pressed his contact and clicked block. I texted Marley.
"I blocked him"
"Ugh FINALLY!!"
"I know I know. I just feel so bleh right now."
"You just need to have a good time. Come over after work."
       I stepped out of the shower and started getting ready for work. I had an hour to get ready before my shift started at four. I threw on a black T-shirt I didn't care too much about, and pulled my bluejeans over my damp legs, struggling to get them up. I brushed through my bleached hair and started to dry it. My hair has been long and bleached since eighth grade when Missy Stevens told me my natural brown hair was boring. I was tired of the bleached look now. I grabbed my make up bag and sat down at my vanity. I brushed on my bronzer and finished my every day look with a few coats of mascara. Pulled my hair into a low pony, and reached for the same perfume I've used for months. A sweet candy perfume Zack got me for Christmas. I grabbed it and walked it over to my trash bin, spraying on a different perfume. I walked downstairs to my dad and little brother sitting on the couch.
"Wow Auggie, surprised you could fit in my jeans." I say mocking the ridiculously tight skinny jeans he was wearing.
"Shut up Blaire. Are you sure that's the face you want to go with today?"
"August Michael Saylor." My mom yells from the kitchen, "Your sister is going through a hard time right now don't-"
"Oh my gosh mom I'm fine. Stop worrying so much."
"I never liked that kid you know." My dad says not looking away from the tv.
"Alright now that we've brought up an awkward topic for the whole family to discuss," I roll my eyes, "I'm working late tonight, won't be off till 10."
"Are you eating dinner tonight?"
"I'll eat now, I'm going to Marleys later."
I grab a frozen burrito and heat it up before sitting at the table scrolling through my Instagram. I go to my profile and delete anything Zack related.
"You know it's really not a big deal. I'll have plenty of heartbreaks in my life." I say to my mom as I cool off my food.
"I know you will honey bee but this is your first heartbreak, and that can be really difficult. Maybe you should talk to someone. I mean I know someone at the clinic that would love to sit-"
"Mom!" I cut her off "I'm not talking to one of your therapist friends, or anyone. I'm fine, I mean it."
"Alright alright, I was just letting you know."
"I know." I sit my plate in the sink and give her a hug, "I gotta go, I'll see you later."
I close my car door and shuffle through my music. "M&B's Perfect Road Trip Jams", the perfect playlist for any occasion. I put the car in reverse and head down my driveway.
-HONK- "Woah woah!" I hear from behind me. I slam my breaks and turn around.
"Oh god" I say out loud.
I throw it in park and get out. A tall boy with dark curly hair walks towards me. Charlie Layfield.
"Geez Blaire, rob a bank or something?" he says squinting towards me and the sun.
"I'm sorry Charlie I didn't see you."
"It's all good. Hey I actually need a new car, how about I back up and we do it again?" he says gesturing to his car.
I laugh and peer over at his black 2004 Ford Focus with a dent on the passenger side door.
"Where are you heading off too in a rush huh?" Charlie laughs
"Oh I was going to work. Guess I was just really excited to get there and get it over with already."
"Oh loads of fun. You still work at that pizza place on 4th?"
"Yeah that's the one." We stand a few feet apart quietly for a moment. I'm scattering my mind to find something to feel the silence.
"Oh hey are you going to the party tonight?" he blurts out.
"What party?"
"Keelan Neals party."
"Oh I don't know I hadn't thought about it."
"You should, I'll text you the address." Charlie reaches into his worn out blue jean pocket and pulls out his phone. "Alright cool, I'll see you there?"
"Yeah, maybe" I say undecidedly.
"I'll see you there." Charlie states. He walks back to his car and opens the door, "Drive safe B." he points at me.
       I wave and get into to my car. I check my rearview and pull out of my driveway and begin my way to work. As I drive I think about what just happened. I haven't talked to Charlie in years besides the occasional project partnering's and "what was the homework" texts. Charlie grew up in this town just like everyone else and we were in quite a few classes together since the sixth grade. We were pretty close in middle school. Freshman year we talked when we both made the soccer teams at our school. At joint soccer practices we'd kick the ball to each other instead of condition. After freshman year I saw Charlie less and less as the years passed. I guess high school is just like that. He looks the same now as he did when he was a 13-year-old boy who used to come to my house and show me his Pokémon cards and teach me how to hit the soccer ball with my head. But he was grown now, with his floppy hair and sarcasm. "Weird." I say to myself smiling getting out of my badly parked car, changing the subject in my brain. I pull out my phone and text Marley.
"What do you think about a party tonight at Keelan Neal's?"
I immediately get a "YES" back and a text from M in the group chat with Stella and Heidi.
"PARTY TONIGHT. KEELAN NEALS. BE READY BY 11!". Three "YES"'s are sent back and it's a plan. Now I just have to make it through the next 6 hours. I walk through the doors.