What Life is Made Of

THIS IS NOT A FICTIONAL STORY, IN FACT IS BASED ON MY LIFE, I REALLY SUFFERED WRITING THIS, BUT I FELT IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET IT OUT. SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, I'M WRITING EVERYTHING THAT REALLY HAPPENED THE ONLY THING I CHANGED WAS SOME NAMES LIKE MINE AND MY FARMS ONE. SO HOPE YOU LIKE IT....

P/S: IN THE PICTURE THERE IS MY GRAMPA AND ME WHEN I WAS 4, AS HE TOUGHT ME HOW TO HORSEBACK RIDE

Hello, I'm Maia, I'm just a 15 year old and I'm lost, lost in my memories, lost in what is now the past. I have nothing, nothing but memories, all of them that ones felt happy, now are the reason for my tears. My smile faded little by little, till there was nothing, nothing to make me smile, to make me happy again. this is the story of my life.

If you whant  I can show you, I can wright it for you, from my old days to my last, to the day I died, the day all my hopes and dreams died forever.

It all started when I was 11, my grandpa, one of the most important people in my life got cancer, that's when he left home to go to the USA for months to get better, he was young, just 72, he was gonna get better. 5 months later he came back... cured they said.

He had changed a little, not much, he still had his short gray hair, his peaceful smile, that generous look of his... he was the same, well not quite... he had stopped doing things he used to do, but he was swimming more, oh hes swimming. he used to enjoy that so much... I used to swim with him when I was in his house.  I swam with him to keep him company. we used to talk about our day, I used to tell him interesting things I saw on Discovery channel or animal planet, then he told me some himself... he used to tell me lots of story's he lived on the military service. I remember waking up at 3 in the morning to get some water, when I got to the living room he used to be sitting there watching animal planet, so I always grabbed my watter and sat there watching it next to him.

I remember every summer I went to the greatest place ever, my grandparents farm "la Floresta". I remember going there with them and my cousin and aunt. I used to love that place.We used to swim, walk every were, cook, fish, Otto tough us how to drive... he even taught me how to horse back ride when I was 4.... The memories of almost all my birthdays where there, I remember all the time for it he made the best BBQ you  can imagine, he made my favorite and everything I asked him for my birthday he made, he loved to spoil us. He really was the best.

I remember almost everyday he took us to a ride on the farm. then he showed us everything and explain what was what, he knew everything. Other special moments where when we fished with him, he taught me and my sister how to do it, but I always finished hurting someone, I fished my sisters finger twice, its a good thing he was a doctor if not there was no way she could take that fishhook from her finger, I used to fish the biggest fish but I was scared to take the fishhook from them so Otto used to do it, once he did so and the fish bit his finger and it was a fish with teeth so he got hurt, I remember he started laughing cause I started crying cause the fish fell back to the water so he comforted me saying the fish was evil and that it was better gone, I remember I stop crying and turned to face the water and showed my tongue to the water as if I was mocking the fish. He used to enjoy does moments I'm sure of it.... All does moments are saved on the farm, every time I go there now, I just want to lie down and cry cause I know I will never do all that anymore.

When I was 13 my grandparent decided to take my cousin, aunt and I to Buzeos and Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. I can assure that was the best trip I've ever been to. We went to the beach everyday, and surfed. When we whent to rio we whent Ice skating. it was great. my grampa and I walked by the beach one day and it wa great... When the trip was over I really got sad, but he told me... in fact he promised me that he was going to take me to another trip the next year.

The same he did on summer, on my 14th birthday he said he was going to teach me how to use a gun 'but only next year' he said, I was so happy he was going to teach me. The summer went by and I just hoped for next summer to come quick.

The last time he came to my house was for my Sister's Birthday, he was so happy. My mother had cooked his favorite food, typical Brazilian food. In that moment I never thought that was going to be the last... last time I could ever saw him, the last time I saw that smile, the last time I was going to get to hug him, the last thing I remember is him smiling at me from the car as I waved goodbye, the last time he saw me too.

In 2012 I lost one of my best friends, he was shot and died on the hospital hours later. It was the first time someone I knew died. I was depressed for weeks. Then in September My grandpa got leukemia. I couldn't believe it, something told me it wasn't going to be easy, but I had hope, hope he could defeat the illness as he did with the cancer. The last time I talked to him he promised he was going to call me when the treatment was over and that he was going to tell me everything about it, when he said that I felt fear in his voice, he was the strongest man I ever met and if he felt fear it meant something. He said he loved me ike a 100 times then he hanged up. I thought I was going to listen to his voice again because he always kept his promises, but he didn't. He never called back. they sedated him 2 hours after he called me.

Every night I cried myself to sleep thinking that he could be gone in any moment. One day they told me he was getting better, they said that if he kept like that they could wake him up. I got so Happy, cause I thought I was going to listen to his voice again, talk to him like I used to, and mostly hug him and never let go. The day went by and I was still so happy, I didn't cried at night and it was the only night in 2 weeks that I could sleep well. I woke up with my hopes so high, thinking that he could wake up today.

Before going to school my Father told me that if he came earlier that day it meant my grandpa was worst and that we had to go to Montevideo but if he didn't came it meant good news. the morning went by and my Father never came. when I got in the car of the woman that takes me home she told me I was going to Montevideo, where my grandpa lives. I thought maybe he was awake, or that they were going to let me see him at last. Then there was the horror... when I got home my Father told me to get other shoes cause mine were destroyed, I told him they were comfy, but he told me that they didnt suted for a funeral. I collapsed, I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't believe he was gone, he couldn't be.

When we arrived to my grandparent's house (or should I say my grandma's house) nobody looked so sad, they were trying to distract themselves by talking about anything.

That night I could't stop crying I was up till 3 in the morning, then I got up from my bed and trying not to wake my sisters I walked to the kitchen to get water, normally I saw my grandpa watching the Animal Planet, I used to sit next to him and watch it. I think I was hoping to find him there, but I didn't. I got some water and sat next to were my grandpa did, I started crying again, he couldn't be gone, I cuddled next to were he sat and turned on the TV to find the animal planet on. I started watching it, and talked as I used to talk to him, asking him questions and stuff about the program, but this time I got no reply, despite the wind and the TV, there was only silence.

I wanted to listen to his voice, so I called his phone... It ringed, I walked towards the sound to find myself in front of a closet next to the front door. I got in the closet and I found the phone In the pocket of the coat he used for work. So I took it and put it on.I felt his perfume all around me. I closed the closet door. I sat there in the darkness, I felt as if he was hugging me, as his perfume was all around me, then I fell asleep. I dreamed of his voice, of his hugs, his smiling face, his laughter.... When I woke up it was 5:30 am so I hanged the cote and tip toed to my bed. I woke up again at 8 am, then I saw everyone getting ready for the funeral, I asked  to my self one question before gettiong out of bed "Is this real? Is this really happening?"

SO I CRIED ALL THE WAY TILL THE END OF THE CHAPTER. EVERY TIME I WROTE A MEMORY I CRIED. I JUST MISS HIM SO MUCH....

WELL THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING... COMMENT WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT PLEASE.

VOTE/SHARE DO WHAT YOU WANT BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING 

I LOVE YOU ALL

-VICKY-