The B*TCH

Over dinner, I took one glance at her and noticed some things I haven't seen before—Her hair has turned gray, the corners of her eyes were wrinkled, even her hands trembled as she held her spoon and fork. Her days were evident on her face.

She had gone old, and it took me just now to realize this with the distance that has kept us apart over the years.

If you have to ask every person she had ever met to describe her, they are going to come up with these:

Bossy. Perfectionist. Strict. Authoritarian. Dictatorial.

She has this aura that scares people right at the moment she speaks. Children would immediately hide behind their mothers, and adults would instantly do their best to avoid crossing her path.

I had my days with her when she would constantly meddle with my business and nag at me. I would approach her multiple times and asked if I could go out with my friends, and thousands of times, she would say no. When people my age would party and drink during nights, I was on the couch watching tons of movies with them which we have seen countless times.

She was critical and hard to please. When I would score less than perfect on any test, she would say I should've studied harder. When I was late for school, she would tell me I should've moved faster or woke up earlier. There is just no satisfying her in whatever I do.

It was a typical day, and the two of us were alone in the living room. I was not sure if I was the only one who feels the awkwardness between us, but she broke the silence sitting in the room when she suddenly spoke.

"I was too young when I had you, and to be honest, I wasn't ready then. I just started my career, and I love my work, but how could I travel two hours every single day with a bulge on my tummy? I was easily tired. I feel sick every time that your father and I had to commute. When I gave birth to you, you occupied all my free time because you used to cry a lot, and you are almost always sick. Your grandmother, my mother-in-law, hated me because she thinks I know nothing about taking care of a child, and I know she was right. I hated myself for a while because I thought I was a failure, but seeing you grow into a beautiful, successful lady... I know now that you are one of the few things I have done right in my life. I may have been hard to you when you were growing up, but that is because I want all the best things in life for you."

I look at her and saw this for the first time.

This is my mother. She is difficult, demanding, and bossy.

But most of all...

She is fierce.