MISJUDGED: I just want to be understood

Prologue: who i am?

Levi
They don't know me. These people whom are my supposed family and friends do not know me at all,nobody does. I'm just the 'bad boy ' that everyone must stay away from, or conform to be like in order to be accepted into the crowd. To them I'm confused; angry at the world but they don't understand, they don't even try, I don't think they ever will! Truth is I've never felt accepted by my own family (although they may be perceived as amazing, they really aren't) never mind my will to be accepted by my friends. This may be me on the outside, yes I wear black clothes, I have a drink now and again, a sleeve of tattoos up one of my arms; I don't smoke, which confuses the hell out of people. I don't think I'm a bad boy, yes I've had a few flings here and there but who hasn't it's high school for fucks sakes! But why is there no one who will look deeper; look further than my clothes, my grades , my background.

I do have aspirations, but I have no idea how to believe in myself and everyone else doubting me ... it doesn't exactly help. Then there's the fact that curve balls get thrown at you all the time and you just have to deal with them? like if things don't always go as planned how do I know that I will get to where I want to be?!

I myself can't exactly vouch and say with confidence that I know me either but I am getting there, I'm trying ,I really am, and I just wish that was enough for everyone. Damn, I wish it was enough for me.

I don't just want my appearance to be seen, but I want my voice to be heard. I want them to hear the real Levi!

Allie
My name basically defines me, it's always "Allie what a sweet name for such a sweet girl" but it's true and that's what annoys me. I'm treated like some porcelain doll who needs to be watched and cared for 24/7...basically you can look but please no touching. I want somebody to know me, yes I'm sweet but there's so much more to me than that. I don't want this perfect girl image I'm mistaken for. I'm also human and have more depth to me than they can see.

I may look like I have my life together with my clean record, high grades and my constant smile, but truth is I don't. I'm just as lost as everyone else if not more so. I have all these expectations of what I should be, how I should act and sometimes I don't want to listen but I do because maybe "they know better" or "if I don't listen my life will be a disaster" which isn't true

the truth is I'm scared, scared to say no , scared to figure it out for myself, scared to experience life and inevitably end up getting hurt and lastly scared to find out who I am.

I just want to be known and understood, treated like I'm not fragile!
I want to be the Allie that can be broken! the Allie that takes risks and is not scared of learning from her own experiences and not everyone else's!

I wanna be me, not my parents daughter, or an older sister, or the teachers favourite student because I get straight A's; no I just wanna be ALLIE!