Horrifically Wounded, Strikingly Gorgeous & Deadly [ErenXMikasa] [Eremika]

XX: A Crumbling Monarchy

A/N: Hey guys... just a heads up that there is some VERY disturbing content in this chapter; self-harm, mostly. Please be prepared & read at your own risk. I love you guys. I'm always here for you.

[Mikasa] 

A tingling feeling spreads throughout my body as I feel his hands brush delicately across my skin. His touch is warm; loving. His lips thread themselves with mine, and I grip the soft tufts of his hair tightly. I feel something wet poke at my lips, a yelp escaping my mouth as I feel his tongue run itself along the seam of my lips. His hands travel south, gripping my hips with great fervor. I groan into the kiss, granting his tongue entrance as I feel his hands trail themselves under my blouse. Our tongues interlock with each other as his hand gently strokes at my bare skin, his arm snaking around the small of my back as he hoists me up onto his lap. My hands move to his back, reaching underneath the collar of his shirt as I dig my nails into his firm muscles. I feel our lips separate before he attaches his mouth to my neck, pressing his lips gently against the crook of my collarbone. I let out a lengthy gasp, my nails digging in further. "E-Eren," his name escapes my lips despite my efforts to keep it in, and I hear him groan as his hand comes to rest itself on my breast, squeezing it lightly. Another moan. "Mikasa," I hear him groan in response, trailing more kisses against my bare skin. He holds me tenderly, lovingly - in a way I never thought I was worthy of. 

I feel him remove his head from my shoulder, and I open my eyes. Our gazes immediately lock, and I find myself becoming lost in those beautiful, sparkling hues. They're mesmerizing - an other-worldly pool of  shimmering blues, greens and golds. The only time I've ever found the color blue beautiful. I slowly inch my face toward him again, resting my forehead against his as I heave my chest up and down. I let a small smile find its way to my lips, and I watch as he scans my face up and down, his facial expression mimicking mine. "Mika..." I hear him start, breathless. My heart nearly lurches from my throat at the sound of my nickname. I feel his hand come up to caress my face, which I willingly lean into - the touch of his fingertips electric against my cold skin. My heart is beating a mile a minute, head in a euphoric tizzy. I search his eyes, watching as his Adam's apple bobs up and down in a deep inhale. His eyes radiate an affectionate warmth so unfamiliar, yet so rapturously inviting. He opens his mouth to continue his sentence, and somehow I know exactly what he's going to say before he even says it. "...I lo-" 
His words are cut off by my lips feverishly pressing against his, and I feel him resist for only a brief moment - succumbing to the kiss almost immediately. A liquid fire courses its way through my veins as I bring my hands to cup his face tenderly, smiling into the kiss. My mind drifts for a moment to the heart-fluttering prospect of what he was about to say, a heat rising to my cheeks. I wouldn't have done well to hear it; nonetheless, the idea that he sees me as someone worth loving produces a feeling I can only describe as being unmatched by any other. I snake my arms around his neck tightly, deepening the kiss. I love you too, Bright Eyes. I feel his mouth upturn into a small smile against mine, his free hand wrapping itself tightly around my waist as I feel the gap between us close. This. This is the type of feeling I've been pursuing my entire life - the embrace of unconditional affection; love. The caress of someone who, come hell or high water, would keep me safe, make me feel wanted - needed. I don't want this moment to end; I'd sooner die than let go of this feeling. 

We break away from the kiss, and I lean my head against his once more. I squeeze my eyes shut as the sound of our heavy breathing lingers in the atmosphere. I open my eyes, eager to see those gorgeous depths of gold and blue again. However, as soon as I do, I immediately wish I hadn't. 

A callous, blue hue gleams in the moonlight - an animalistic lust swimming behind it. No. I feel my heartbeat stop in my throat as I frantically try to remove myself from his tight grasp. The callous texture of his skin brushes against mine, and I open my mouth to scream. "Okaa-" A hand covers my mouth, and I feel the familiar hot sting of tears behind my eyes. Stop. Please. Stop. I've been through enough. How many times are you going to do this to me? I beg for him to stop from underneath his clamped hand, and yet all my pleas fall on deaf ears as his grimy hands snake their way greedily across my thighs. I fight the urge to throw up."O-Otousan! Please!" I scream through clenched fingers, and yet to no avail.  I feel him pin me to the floor. "P-please! What are you- no! Stop! O-Otousan..p-please, stop!"