You're making things worse for me.. Why? (Harry styles) #wattys2015

part 11

-ALEXA-

the day had come. i woke up and looked at the time 11am i got out of bed and made my way to shower. i jumped in the shower then got out and blow dried my hair placing it in a bun.

i cut again yesterday.. harry said some harsh words to me when he saw me at the shop.

if only he knew what he was doing to me.

i got changed and made my way downstairs. ''where you going love'' mum asked me ''where do you think?'' i said walking out the front door.

i got on a train and made my way there.

finally there i walked down the narrow paths

after so long i will be seeing him again

''hello, happy birthday'' i said once i approached his headstone.

i bent down on my knees looking at his head stone

william baker

1974-2014

loving husband and loving father. will forever be missed.

i couldnt tell you how many times i read it

''im so sorry dad, im sorry for everything. i dont mean to self harm but its the only way i can cope with things. im suicidal dad, i want to die. i want to be with you'' i said with tears rolling down my face.

i had to sort around the grave because it looked like nobody had visted in while. i placed new flowers down and sat there talking to him.

i talked to him like he was there with me, except it was only a one way conversation.. i was the only one talking

i looked at my phone at the time 3pm.. i have to go.

''happy birthday daddy, i love you. i have to go now but i promise i will come back and visit you'' i said standing up i bent over and kissed his headstone. the coldness of it send shivers down my spine,

i walked back down the arrow lanes and to the train staion and got the train home,

i wasnt ready to go home yet. i just wanted to go for a walk and relax my brain.

when i got off the train i went to the park near my house, no one was there and it was so quite. i sat down on a bench over looking a beautiful lake senery,

-HARRY-

''but mum'' i said to my mum who was being a bitch saying i couldnt go meet jordan until i had done my chores. me doing chores yeah haha. no i dont do them im normally just pay my sister to do them for me.

''harry just put the laundry in the dryer and you can go'' mum shouted ''uhh ok'' i hissed at her. i went to the laundry room and put the clothes in the laundry.

i went upstairs to get my shoes then back downstairs ''bye mum'' i shouted ''dont be home late'' she shouted back to me

my sister was using my car and i was ment to meet jordan at his house in an hour and his house was a half hour walk, i was going to get a taxi but i needed to clear my head. ive had a tough few days. i walked in a park where i see someone sitting on a bench looking out at the lake.

i smiled at the fact they just looked so pieceful.

but then she stood up and turned around and i realised it was Alexa.

''alexa you slut'' i shouted jogging towards her she looked at me and tried walking faster and faster away

i grabbed her arm and she screamed in pain, i had never heard her scream like that before when i had grabbed her arm

she pulled her arm close to her chest rubbing it.. when she rubbed it i saw some scars on her wrists

'what?' 'did i just see what i thought i saw?' i thought to myself

i grabbed her arm making her scream even more and i pulled up her sleeve.. there it was

what i thought i had seen.

scars.

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