You're making things worse for me.. Why? (Harry styles) #wattys2015

part 12

-ALEXA-

''alexa you slut'' i heard someone shout i looked next to me and see harry jogging towards me, i tried to walk faster but he soon catched up with me

he grabbed my arms and i screamed in pain, it realy hurt. the marks where fresh. newly fresh.

i let go of the grip and pulled my arm towards me rubbing it, harry looked at me with a serious look on his face 'here we go.. ''this is not over'' is coming' i thought to myself

he grabbed my arm again pulling it close to him lifting up my sleeve. i tried to stop him but it was too late. he saw them. he saw my scars.

he dropped my arm in shock so i quickly put my sleeve back down and he lifted up my other arm lifting that sleve up ''lex why?'' he asked me i just blanked him

he examined my arm ''they're fresh'' he said with a shocked face

i quickly got out of his grip and run, i run as fast as i could but he caught up with me stopping me by placing his hands ony my shoulders

''i asked you why'' he said in a sharp tone ''because of you'' i whispered letting tears drop from my eyes he looked at my face then looked back at my arms

''when did you start?'' he asked ''its got nothing to do with you'' i replied trying to walk away but he wouldnt let me.

''LEX TELL ME'' he shouted making me jump

i took a deep breath ''i was clean, i hadnt done it for 3 months when i moved here. i was so clean and finally i was in a happy place. that is until i met you'' i took another deep breath

''you and your friends started calling me a slut, you would mentally and physically bully me. i couldnt take it no more. after 3 months being clean i broke it, i cut again. BECAUSE OF YOU'' i shouted the last bit

he had no words to say, his face was in complete shock.

''BECAUSE OF YOU I HAVE ALL THESE FRESHLY MARKS ON MY ARM'' i shouted at him

''i-im sorry lex'' he said with a sad tone in his voice like he actually ment it and he was sorry but i wasnt having it. im not going to forgive him because he has put me through hell.

''BECAUSE OF YOU IM SUICIDAL'' i shouted turning my back on him and walking off crying

''alexa.. im so sorry for everything i have done and said. i didnt realise you was cutting youself. i thought you was mentally stable and could handle us. i didnt know im sorry'' harry said with a tear in his eye

''you're really sorry? what now after all these weeks of bullying me you're sorry?'' i said ''i am'' he replied

''well guess what styles, i dont accept your apology. make fun of me for cutting myself, go tell everyone i dont care. im so close to death that next time i cut myself i could be dead. think about that'' i told him before running of

he didnt chase me which was such a good thing!!!

-HARRY-

suicidal.. she was suicidal. because of me and the boys bullying her.

she had cut herself after 3 months of being clean because of us.

i couldnt get my mind around it.

i watch as she run of crying, i didnt want to chase after her because i didnt want to make matters worse.

i stood there for ages just thinking about it. why did i have to be such a cunt for. why did i have to bully her.

i walked home and into my bedroom ''harry is that you'' mum asked ''yeah, turns out im not meeting jordan so im staying home'' i said ''i met this woman at work, she invited me round to have dinner tonight.. do you want to come? she has a daughter your age'' mum said

i didnt know if i was in the right stage of mind to go have dinner with people i dont know ''ok then'' i replied ''what time?'' i asked ''6:30'' mum shouted thats in an hour

the hour had soon passed and we was in the car to mums friends house. we got to the street alexa lived at and mum parked outside her house.. was it her mum we was having dinner with?

i wasnt ready for this

''harry are you coming on staying in the car'' mum said laughing i got out the car and mum knocked on the door

''oh hello darling'' the woman spoke to my mum ''come in, come in'' she insisted leading us in. this was alexas house. this was her mum

but where was alexa? did she come home?

''im sorry but my daughter wont be joining us for dinner, shes had a pretty bad day. its her dad birthday and he was murdered so she just upstairs having a rest'' the woman spoke

''wait you might know her'' she said ''whats her name?'' i asked.. i already knew who it was but i couldnt say i knew her and i bullied her. i wonder if he mum knows shes self harming?

''alexa.. alexa baker'' her mum spoke ''yeah shes in my english class'' i replied smiling not knowing what else to say

''ill go get her to see if she will come down for dinner, she said she didnt want to but ill give it another go'' her mum spoke excusing herself from the table.

in a way i wanted lex to come but then i didnt. what if she told everyone at the table what i had been doing to her. i had been making her self harm

alexas mum walked down the stairs with lex following. she didnt see me as i was facing the other way. she saw me turn around and look at her. she looked at me '' i dont feel too good'' she said holding her belly and running up the stairs.

fuck.

''im so sorry about her, shes been abit off these past few weeks.. she has a few things going on that i wont talk about'' her mum said

i knew what she was going through but i wonder if her mum did.

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