[✔] lightbulb » lee taeyong & na jaemin

ch. 5

eccedentesiast: someone who hides pain behind a smile

» author's pov »

ara was with jaemin today, and they were both laughing wildly. of course, jaemin was the friend that smacked you whenever they were laughing.

"ow, ow, ow!" ara smacked him back. "stop hitting me when you laugh!"

this just made him laugh harder, and he smacked her again but lighter. ara couldn't help it, she laughed with him again. his laugh was just so contagious. contagious laughs reminded her of a friend from back in high school, a guy named mark lee. whenever he burst into a fit of laughter, the whole class followed, even if they had no idea why he was laughing. this would just set him off and make him laugh louder and for even longer, until the teacher nearly smacked him. still, he would giggle in the back and try to contain his laughter with puffed up cheeks.

they had no idea about what they were laughing about, but wasn't that the best friendship? when you don't have to think? it was a natural connection.

suddenly, ara quieted as jaemin continued to laugh.

she noticed taeyong looked ticked off before—a warning sign of what's to come later. so she asked jaemin to come pick her up, and now, here they were, on a date.

a friend date.

just friends.

because she had a boyfriend and all that.

jaemin said something especially funny, and she snorted, causing him to snort. and then the both of them were having a wheezing, snorting, i-can't-breath silent type laughing fest. ara's heart filled with happiness. real happiness.

she hadn't felt this happy in a very long time. except for last night. but last night, she was both happy and sad. she wrapped her fingers around the locket, the coldness of it seeping seeping into her fingers. she picked it open and stared at the picture.

"ara?" jaemin called, pulling her out of her thoughts.

she flinched and quickly snapped the locket shut, but then smiled. "yeah?"

she was at the ice cream shop with jaemin, and had left at about eight-thirty in the morning.

she had waited for the already-ticked-off taeyong to leave for work first, making sure to stay quiet so he would forget she existed. again. until it was time to get angry.

except, he remembered. despite it being an off day, he had turned back to smile and said "good morning." she couldn't stop thinking about how he had suppressed his anger to greet her, kwan ara, who was just a girlfriend and something to release his anger on.

she was too shocked to say anything back, but he had already left opened the door and left by the time she composed herself.

she stared at the door for what felt like eternity, feeling herself spiral into the cycle of off and on taeyong. why was she always left staring at doors? 

eventually, she came back to life and texted jaemin to distract herself. he suggested that they hang out, and here she was, on the bench outside the ice cream shop with her favorite flavor on a cone. it was vanilla, which—despite the controversy—was delicious with the right toppings.

"exactly!" jaemin exclaimed after she was done ranting about school and life and school and homework and stress and everything.

"school feels like a waste of time, sometimes. ugh. thank goodness, we're on a break right now."

he rolled his eyes. "tell me about it. but still try hard at school, okay? we paid for this college stuff, so we gotta take advantage of what we learn. and you're still young; younger than me."

"yes, father." ara rolled her eyes. he simply laughed, patting her arm affectionately.

they continued to talk for a while, buying more ice cream just because they could. forget about that drinking and smoking stuff—they had money, and they were going to spend it on ice cream. all while talking about billionaires they could sue; potential sugar daddies, that type of stuff.

when it was almost time to go home, ara smiled at jaemin, suddenly holding his hand. "thanks for being here with me."

jaemin flushed but pulled his hand away, knowing she had a boyfriend and wanting to respect that. "o-of course!" he stuttered.

ignoring his subtle movements, she grabbed his hand again. "thank you, jaemin."

——

» lee taeyong's pov »

i was on my break. i wondered where ara was, and opened up the phone tracking app i had. i noticed that she was not at home, which made me suspicious and worried. i decided to go to her, check up on her. maybe buy her something.

but i found her with jaemin instead. they sat together on a bench, sitting right next to each other. it didn't take a genius for me to realize that she was probably trying to escape from me in the morning, when i felt angry. i watched her as she held hands with him, even after he pulled his hand away.

i knew a part of her still loved jaemin, but she choose me instead. 

and i knew it was the wrong choice.

why me? how was i better than jaemin? how did i make her happy? how did i make her feel loved?

if she chose jaemin, everything would be okay, because she would be happy. i didn't make her happy. jaemin was perfect for her, easy to talk with, good-looking, kind, funny, the whole package.

i walked away, ignoring the burning sensation in my heart.

i didn't turn back to see if she was smiling; smiling and laughing the way she never did with me. at least, anymore.