Capricorn: Still Bound to You ( COMPLETE)

Ten

(UNEDITED)

I don't have any experience with men. Kaya kahit masakit, inaamin ko na naive ako pagdating sa mga lalaki at pakikipagrelasyon. The first romance that should influence me was supposed to be my parents, but they're just victims of arrange marriage so I grew up without witnessing the sweetness of real life couple. Ang alam kong pagmamahal ay ang natatanggap ko sa kapatid ko, and I know there's much more of love than the ones I received from my brother. Kaya lang, hindi ko matukog ang mga klase ng pagmamahal dahil nga baguhan pa lang ako.

"Are you dating Dark Rockwell?" Tanong ni Georgina matapos umalis ang sasakyan ni Dark.

Siya ang naghatid sa akin dito sa meeting place namin ni Georgina para sa nalalapit namin na finals. Matatapos na ang school year kaya puspusan ang pagrereview namin. I need to work extra hard because I fell from top 1, to top 4! Mabuti na lang at wala ang parents ko kaya hindi nila nabalitaan ang kapalpakan ko!

I was so preoccupied with my exploration with Dark. Inaamin ko naman na medyo napabayaan ko ang pag-aaral ko, kaya nga bumabawi ako ngayon. I need to regain my position before my parents come back from England. Kung 'di ay malalagot ako ng sobra sa kanila!

"No, we're not dating!" Defensive at namumula kong tugon kay Georgina.

Nandito kami ngayon sa National Library para magreview. Pinili namin dito dahil mas malapit ang bahay ni Georgina sa lugar na 'to. She needs to be ready to go home anytime for her diabetic mother, since nasal work pa ang sister niya. Hindi naman kami pwede sa bahay nila dahil hindi daw ako magiging kumportable doon dahil mainit. Kaya naman nandito na lang kami.

"Talaga? Pero bakit parang boyfriend mo na kung umakto? Forehead kiss, really? Don't tell me he treats you like his younger sister that's why he did that?" She sarcastically said.

Napanguso ako. Hindi ko din kasi alam ang isasagot sa kanya. All I know is I like him. I like being with Dark and spending time with him. Gusto ko ang mga bagong pinaparanas niya sa akin at mas gusto kong gawin ang mga bagay na iyon nang kasama siya.

"I like him. He makes me happy." Amin ko sa kaibigan.

Biglang sumeryoso ang tingin niya sa akin. Humalukipkip siya at mariin akong tinitigan. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng panliliit sa paraan ng pagtitig niya sa akin. Parang nangingilatis at nanghuhusga ng parehas.

"Does he feel the same?"

Umiwas ako ng tingin at nauna na sa loob ng Library para iwasan ang tanong niya. Pero nahabol niya ako at naharang bago pa kami makarating sa isang vacant table. Namewang siya at tinaasan ako ng kilay. Bumuntong hininga ako at sumuko na lang.

"I don't know. I think he likes someone else. You know Ranali from Pharma 2B?"

"Ranali Carolina? Of course, I know her. Sikat siya sa school dahil naging representative siya ng nanalong team sa isang bigatin na convention."

Mas lalo akong nanlumo. She's pretty and smart! I am pretty and smart as well, but she's sexy while I'm skinny! She's obviously better!

"He likes Ranali? Sigurado ka ba? Did he say so himself?"

"He told me on the phone last month, na inagaw daw ng kambal niya si Ranali. He doesn't want me getting close to his twin because he might snatch me as well...something like that. He clearly sounds like he cherishes Ranali."

Hinila niya ako paupo sa bakanteng upuan at umupo siya sa harap ko. Instead of start reviewing, itinabi niya ang printed reviewers namin at ang laptop ko.

"I don't want to get your hopes up, pero hangga't hindi nanggagaling sa kaniya ang salitang gusto niya si Ranali, don't conclude it. If you want clarification, don't be afraid to ask him." Seryosong aniya. "The way he looks at you and treats you is beyond friendship. Ask him about it as well. You are new to this so you need to be careful. Dark doesn't seem like a bad guy kaya ayos lang siguro na magkagusto ka sa kanya. But please guide your heart as well. We can never know what might happen in the future."

I was very touched by the way she looked and spoke to me. She sounded so concerned, and it made me happy. Lalo na at tama ang mga sinabi niya. I need to confront Dark about our relationship. Naguguluhan na din kasi ako sa lahat ng pinapakita at pinaparamdam niya sa akin. Georgina was right. Si Dark lang ang makakapagpalinaw ng lahat ng kaguluhan sa isipan ko.

Kaya naman nang sunduin niya ako, hinanda ko na ang sarili ko na kausapin siya. I will stay on his condo for the whole afternoon today. I need to talk to him and clarify everything before this day ends.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something?"

Umiling ako. I propped myself on his sofa and stared at the ceiling. My mind is occupied by the thought of how I should open up the topic on him. Should I ask him straight if we are dating or not? Or should I start with my issue about Ranali? Or should I confess first?

I groaned. Where should I start?!

Biglang sumulpot ang mukha ni Dark sa ibabaw ko. Napakurap ako sa biglaang pagsulpot ng gwapo niyang mukha. Mas lalo siyang gumwapo ngayong hindi niya na tinatago ang tunay na kulay ng buhok niya. The tips are black but it made him look even better. Mukha siyang badboy.

I bit my lower lip when I felt my heart start beating fast as we did a staredown.

"Are you okay?" His eyes flickered with concern. "You're blushing. Do you have a fever?—"

"I like you."

I don't know what came up to me. I just said what I really wanted to say to him for so long now. Matagal ko na gustong sabihin sa kaniya na gusto ko siya, pero naduwag akong magbago ang relasyon namin kung sakaling umamin ako at hindi pala parehas ang nararamdaman niya. I got even more scared because I thought he likes Ranali. The talk I had with Georgina made me regain my confidence to confess my feelings to Dark.

If he doesn't like me, it will hurt so bad, but I will try my best to move on. I like him as a companion so maybe I'll ask him to be my friend after I get over him. Inisip ko na lahat ng pwede kong gawin kung hindi kami parehas ng nararamdaman. I will probably distance myself from him for a while.

"Come again?"

Napakurap ako. Muntik ko ng makalimutan ang presensya niya sa dami ng pumapasok sa isip ko. I'm starting to overthink and do some analysis on what should I do if he rejects me. Wala na ang isip ko sa present!

"Ah, I-I said... what did I say?" My face heat up as it sinks in me that I just confessed.

I really confessed! Ako, na nangako sa magulang ko na hindi muna magbo-boyfriend!

"Wala akong sinabi! G-Guni guni mo lang—"

"You said you like me. Is it true?" Putol niya sa akin. "Don't say otherwise. I heard you clearly. I just wanted to confirm if you genuinely said that."

Tinakpan ko ang mukha ko sa sobrang hiya. I wanted to scream and run away here. Nakakahiya! I wasn't thinking straight since I was confused about what to do first. I ended up confessing absentmindedly!

"Are you playing with me?"

Namilog ng mata ko sa lamig ng boses niya. Mabilis kong ibinaba ang kamay ko at marahas akong umiling. Blanko na ang tingin niya at wala na ang palaging ngiti sa labi niya kaya kinabahan at nataranta ako.

"N-No, of course not! I really like you! I've been admiring you for months, but I was contemplating because I thought you were in love with Ranali. I-I mean, she's obviously more suited for you! She's matured while I'm childish for being jealous of an innocent woman like her— why are you smiling?"

He lick his lips and shake his head. Pumikit siya ng mariin at kinagat ang halos mapunit na labi sa lawak ng ngiti niya. Nakadungaw pa rin siya sa akin kaya kitang kita ko ang paglunok niya at marahang pagbuntong hininga.

"Please, don't make me fall for you even more. I'm already on the ground, baby." Tila nanghihinang bulong niya. "I couldn't like you any more than this. Binabaliw mo ako."

Bigla siyang lumuhod at kinuha ang kamay ko. I watch him in awe as he places my hand on his lips, kissing it gently, and then he brings it down on his chest. I could feel it. I could feel his heart beating on the same beat as mine.

"You made me kneel. Take responsibility for this poor man's heart, Natalie."

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