Tommyinnit angst

Chapter 1; The News

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Tommy's POV.
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I looked around the dark, black room I was in. I couldn't see anything. I felt the walls were closing in. My breath got more uneven by the second. I was shaking. My hands were numb.

"Tommy, Tommy, Tommy..."

Huh? I looked up and around the room only to see someone. There was also a bright light behind them so I could make out some details. They were short, had brown hair, they were faced away from me, and wore a green sweatshirt.

Tubbo?

"TUBBO!" I yelled. I got up from where I was sitting and booked it over to him. He had a, peculiar, smile on his face. Not like the ones I saw when we were streaming, though. No. It was sinister. He turned around and looked at me. His eyes were red. Glowing, somehow.

I stopped running. I looked down to his hands. I saw a glimpse of light come from an object he was holding. Then I soon realized what it was. A knife.

"You really think I'd want to be friends with you. No. I was using you for fame you Bitch!"

I looked at him eyes wide. Only those three sentences were enough to make my eyes water.

"No one even loves you, why are you here?"

I stared at him. I was sobbing now. I couldn't know and I didn't. Why did he do this.

"And you have never had the strength to end it so-"

He started running at me with the knife. It was all just so fast. I was about to die.

"I'll do it for you!"

I let out a blood curling scream as I saw him plunge the knife into my chest. It hurt like hell. I just stared at him. He had a smile on his face. I felt like I was going to puke. Then everything just started to fade away.

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"Tom"
"Tom!"
"TOM!"

I woke up to someone shaking me vigorously. I opened my eyelids slowly to see who it was. My mother. And right behind her my father. I reached in for a hug, and my mom luckily gave back. We were about a couple minutes into the hug until I let go. She let go too, and looked at me with worried eyes.

"Tom, what happened. You were screaming all night. And were you crying?" My mon asked.

I looked at her with a confused expression as I reached up to my face. I felt dried tear tracks. Many of them.

"I just had a nightmare." I said. My mother looked at my father and nodded her head. He nodded back.

"Thomas, sweetie, I have some very great news for you then..." She smiled at me.

I looked kind of worried a little bit. "What news?" I asked.

"Well," she started "Wilbur texted us last night And told us that you and all of your friends were invited to go to Florida for Dream's 20M sub goal. So I told him I would ask you about it. It's for two weeks and I think that you might have a lot of fun."

I looked at her with wide eyes as a smile crept along my face. "HELL YEAH I'D LOVE TO GO!" I yelled, getting scolded by my parents in the process.

"Okay," my mother said, "But, we will keep in contact with you and Wilbur the whole time to make sure you're okay. You need to take your meds, too. Also, how much of this do you want us to tell Wilbur?"

I looked at her like she was crazy. "None of it" I said. I didn't want anyone else to know about this, it's bad enough as it is right now with just my parents knowing.

My mother sighed. "Fine, but eventually you need to tell someone. Who knows, maybe even telling someone else might help." She stood up and gestured for my father to leave the room. She followed him out as well.

'That's just shit' I thought, 'I'm never telling anyone about my problems. They don't need to know. And besides, I'd just be a bother to them...' I put my head down and closed my eyes.

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I laid my head back on my pillow for what felt like hours trying to sleep. I was tired, but I couldn't fall asleep.

I pulled out my phone and turned it on. My eyes widened at the time. It was only 3:19 am! I had barely been out for 5 minutes!

I decided that I wasn't going to fall asleep again and scrolled through Twitter. Most of the post were just Quackity pissing off BBH with swears and shit. I grinned a little at that. It's nice to know that they were having fun.

Then I scrolled down again to... The hate comments.

"Eww, why is this child so skinny??? It's disgusting 🤢!"

"This child's profanity use is outrageous!"

"He's so annoying! I wish he would just die already!"

"Geez! How does Wilbur even put up with him!"

"Tf does this kid think he's doing. He's never going to actually make. In YouTube and in life!"

"Burn in Hell. It's about time you jumped..."

Before I knew it I was in tears again. That last one hit really hard. Really, really hard.

Before I knew what I was doing I jump out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I shut the door and just cried. Just let all the tears flow. About 5 minutes later I pulled up my sleeve and stared. Stared at all the scars and cuts on my wrist. I counted.

1..

2..

3..

11...

23...

36...

54...

54 cuts...

I cried. I couldn't take it anymore. I shuffled through my cabinets trying to find that one item. I looked around some more. I felt a sting come from my index finger. "Shit!" I whispered. I looked at it. It was a huge line from my hand all the way up the finger.
'Found it' I thought. I reached back in there in hopes of finding the blade again.

I felt it. I cool metal against my fingers. It felt, nice.
I took the blade out and put against my pale skin. Next thing I knew, I was digging deep into my skin with the blade. It hurt like hell, but I kept going.

I counted. 9 new cuts. Shit. I cleaned up myself and walked back to my bedroom. I laid my head back down on my pillow trying to forget what just happened.

Then slowly.

I closed my eyes.

And drifted off to sleep...