I'll miss you | Meredith (Merluca)

Chapter 8

Two days later | Around 1 month after Andrew's death

Meredith had helped the kids in the morning with their online schoolwork, like she did every day since she was at home again. She had taken off a few days, trying to give herself a little more time. Work has always been her escape, but deep down even she knew that she wasn't ready yet. And the time she got to spend with her kids instead, helped her a lot. Once the kids were done with the home work they had to do and were outside playing again, and Amelia were watching them, she made herself ready to go and visit Carina.

.

Some minutes later she found herself in front of Carina's apartment, taking a deep breath before she rang the doorbell. The door soon opened and Carina was standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Meredith." Carina greeted her with a sympathetic smile, opening the door a little wider to invite her inside.

"Hi." She answered, returning her smile, with a small one herself.

Meredith went inside, turning around towards Carina again once they were both inside the apartment before she stated sincerely "I'm so sorry, Carina."

"Thank you." A sad smile was forming on her face "I'm sorry, too."

Meredith nodded slightly, with a sad smile as well.

.

After another moment remembering Andrew, Carina invited her into the living room.

"Do you want something to drink?" Carina offered, which Meredith gladly accepted.

"Yes. Thanks!"

"I'll be back in a minute. You can make yourself comfortable around here."

Carina quickly went into the kitchen, getting them two glasses of water, handing Meredith one before she sat down on the couch as well.

"Andrea would have loved this." Carina chuckled slightly, looking at Meredith sitting on the other side of the couch "Us, both sitting here."

"I think you're right." A smile appeared on Meredith's lips at the thought. "He often talked about you. He was so proud to have you as his big sister." She added, remembering how proudly he talked about Carina whenever he could. They had their differences, but from what Andrew had told her, she knew they had an incredible bond of love between them.

She saw Carina smiling at her words in return, making them stay silent for some time, going through the happy times with him.

.

Meredith disappeared in her thoughts for a moment. She loved to talk to Andrew. She has never been a person who enjoyed 'talking' that much, because very often it included talking about your feelings, your fears and everything else that was hard for her to talk about. But Andrew... he had found a way for her to want to talk about these things to him. And now he was gone...

"Have you been to his grave, yet?" Meredith asked, looking up at Carina.

"Yeah, a couple of times actually." She answered, seeming a little confused "And you?"

"No..." She answered quietly, more as a sigh than really a word. "I'm- I am scared to have to let him go." She added slowly, almost hesitantly. It has never been easy to talk about her feelings. And now where Andrew was gone it seemed like it was getting so much harder again.

Carina looked at her for a moment, giving her some time, while giving her a small smile before she stated "You loved him?"

"I wish I had had more time to tell him."

Carina gave her another smile, trying to assure her.

"Are you mad at him?" Carina asked after another moment, without judgement, just curiosity in her voice.

"No..." Meredith answered slowly but determined "I could never be mad at him for doing something that was so important to him." She added softly, knowing how much this had meant to him. To help other people, to make a difference. This was the Andrew she got to know and loved so much. She couldn't be mad at him for that.

"I just wished I told him that I loved him." She added after another moment, looking at Carina again.

"The day we followed that woman..." Carina started, giving her a small smile "He said something to me. 'That the only reason someone listened to him during his manic episode was because of you. Because you knew him and believed in him.'" She paused for a moment "He would want you to know how he felt about you. He loved you. I had never seen him with anyone like that before. And beyond that... he was so grateful that you didn't give up on him. You were one of the most important people in his life. And... he felt loved by you."

Meredith felt a few tears form in her eyes at Carina's words. She took a moment to absorb everything Carina had told her, trying not to let her tears fall out, while at the same time having a small smile at her lips.

"Thank you." She said quietly after a moment.

Carina gave her a smile in return, before she stood up and went a few steps towards the closet in the room to pick up a white box.

"I went through some photos and old things from Andrea, and... I found this." She started when she turned towards Meredith again. "It's something he made for you." She gave Meredith the box, giving her another smile. "You meant a lot to him."

_____

End of Chapter 8

_____

This took me forever to update... I'm sorry!