One year later and thinking about Andrew's death was still as hard. Meredith had tried to focus on her work again and every free minute she had, she spent with her kids. They were everything to her. Her kids and her family.
Over the past year she had tried to find places to be closer to Andrew. The hospital rooftop would always be their place. But today she was on the beach near Seattle. The beach had somehow become her safe place, where she felt at ease and in a weird way in peace. A place where she could grieve Andrew in her own way.
She liked to take long walks on the beach or watch the sunset in the evening, always remembering Andrew with a smile on his lips.
And just like she herself was struggling these days as Andrew's death day came up, she could see that this was just as hard on Carina, and so she decided to ask her if she would like to spend this day, Andrew's death day, with her.
They both sat on a rock at the beach, looking over the sea, when she turned towards Carina.
"How are you?" She asked.
"Andrea would love this place." Carina started with a smile on her face, observing the sun that was reflecting in the sea.
"I think so too." Meredith turned to the sea as well.
"I miss him so much and I think it will never get less, but... I try to look forward."
Meredith nodded slightly, with a small smile on her face. She knew just too well what that felt like.
"But... Maya and I are getting married." She heard Carina adding in a brighter tone, now with a big smile on her face while at the same time having a tear roll down her face; happy while missing her brother at the same time.
"Congratulations, Carina." Meredith turned towards her, now having to fully smile as well "He would be so happy for you." She added. And she had absolutely no doubt about that. She knew how much Andrew had loved his sister.
"Thank you."
They kept looking at the beach and the sea in front of them when Carina turned to her this time.
"How are you?"
"I try to look forward too." Meredith started sighing slightly before she added a little lighter "I picked up that research again that I was working on when Andrew and I got together... Between going to jail and my license hearing and then everything else it got abandoned, but... he always believed that I could figure it out and sometimes when he had a minute he helped me and gave me ideas..." She chuckled slightly, remembering the times he visited her in her lab just to spend some time with her and of course to steal a kiss from her.
"Another Catherine Fox Award?" Carina raised an eyebrow at her with a smile on her face.
"Maybe." She had to laugh a little before she added "But if it helps other people than it is already enough for me."
Meredith stayed quiet for some time before she continued more thoughtful again "I think I'm okay... But... I miss him. The kids, too. They loved Andrew." She felt a smile form on her lips at the memories.
"Did you read the song?" Carina asked after she looked at her for a moment.
"Yes." Meredith answered with a smile on her face. "Have you read it, too?"
"No. But... One day when I came to his apartment, I saw him writing on it. I heard him talking about the sun and her stars before he noticed me... And I knew it was for you." Carina told her with a big smile on her face "He loved you and your family so much. You gave him the feeling of the family he always wanted."
"He was so good with the kids..." Meredith started slowly with a sad but small smile "He started bringing them gelato for their half-birthdays. Ellis had her birthday when Andrew and I just started dating and he didn't want to wait a whole year to celebrate her next birthday, so on her half-birthday he showed up with all sorts of ice cream and we had a gelato half-birthday movie night with the kids." She chuckled slightly at the memories before she added a little quieter "We still do it in memory of him on every half-birthday." She looked up at Carina with a small smile.
"That sounds like him." Carina answered, getting emotional at the stories about Andrew. "You were the best that could happen to him. You made him so happy until his last day."
"He was the only man after Derek that made me want to think about a future again, he made me want to be a family, he made me want to love and feel again..."
"He would want you to be okay. To look forward and be happy, whatever that will look like for you. But he would want happiness for you."
.
They sat on the beach a little longer, as the sun was slowly going down.
"Were you close to your mother?" Meredith asked, turning towards Carina.
"Not as close as Andrea was, but... I loved her."
"I want to remember Andrew with his warm smile on his face. I want to believe that he is with your mom now, with someone he loved." Meredith answered with a small smile.
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She saw how Carina slightly teared up at her words. She reached out to take her hand, to assure her and herself. They both missed him a lot.
"Thank you." Carina turned towards her, wiping a small tear that had fallen out away.
"He loved you so much, Meredith."
"I loved him too. I will always love him."
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End of this story
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Thank you so much for reading this story!!
It made me super sad to write it, and it definitely wasn't my best story, but it also helped me a lot... And that was the main reason why I started to write this :) I hope you liked it, even though it was a sad story...
