I was awoken by one of the guards in the psych ward, "Wake up," the voice belonged to a male, his voice was very monotone and deep but somehow calming in some way. "Get dressed for breakfast. I'll give you 5 minutes." His name was Mark Thornwell, I heard one day in the cafeteria that he was supposedly the biggest; muscle wise; in this facility. Most people are scared of him, but he's actually really sweet and caring. I'm not known for liking new people that I know absolutely nothing about, but he was the only person in charge to not stare at me in a disgusted look, instead he looked at me like I was normal and not a threat to him or anyone around me.
After I got dressed he walked me to the cafeteria, as soon as I walked into the room the room went silent I couldn't tell if it was because I had walked in with Mark or because HeadMaster Grimm who ran the facility had also walked in, but most likely the second thought. I quickly walked to my seat at a round table with my friends who also got captured the same day at the same time I did. He had begun to talk, but I wasn't listening because I had gone back to the day when we were taken away due to the government being scared of what we could do. "Ashley!", my mother Emily yelled that morning. "You need to be leaving for school now before you're late." I hurried down the stairs and quickly grabbed a piece of toast and ran out the door yelling, "Bye, I love you!" I had made it to the bus stop just in time, at least I wasn't the only one running behind this morning. One of my best friends; Cara, was also running behind, but she was running way more behind than I was today. She was running so fast that she tripped and fell over a rock hitting her head on the park bench, Josh; her brother, started to laugh causing everyone to realise what had happened behind them just moments before the bus had arrived to pick us up, but only this time it was different.
"Ash!", this voice belonged to Cara. "You better pay attention we are getting our assigned colors today.", her voice..it was full of excitement and pure joy as if she had no clue what that meant for me and her. I gently placed my hand on her shoulder and asked, "Cara, are you aware of what the colors mean for us?" Her response was so childlike that I almost slapped her. "Ofcourse I know what the colors mean! I'm not an idiot Ash. The colors mean that we are getting assigned to our groups, meaning that me and you might be separated but I doubt that because they choose off of our favorite color and we just so happen to have the same one." I was going to tell her that was incorrect, but I decided to wait until we were alone because I noticed that everyone had almost the same response and I loved seeing her so happy.
After HeadMaster Grimm was finished talking I quickly but calmly led Cara into a back room where no one ever went. I only knew about this room because Mark had shown it to me when I first arrived. Mark had told me that I could always return here to clear my mind or just to get away from anything, he also said that I could only ask him to let me go down here because it was prohibited to me and the other children. I never knew why he showed me this, but I've never really thought to ask until today, I also have noticed that ever since the first week after my arrival the guard that's supposed to stand in front of my door has never changed it's always been him.
I could tell that Cara was confused and very concerned since I had led her into a dark dingy room without telling her anything before doing so. "Ash, what are we doing here? Isn't this room prohibited to us? We need to get back before the guards get suspicious of where we are, we might be late to the ceremony.", she seemed to be very determined to get there on time not a second too late. "Cara, what made you change your mind about what the colors meant?", she looked puzzled and dazed, but I never changed my facial expression just to let her know I wasn't backing down from my question. "I don't know one minute I'm terrified so I take a bite of my bread to try and calm myself down then next thing I knew it was like my mind had been completely switched with a childs." I could tell that the normal Cara was coming back because her facial expression had changed from being all smiley to serious, but there was still that normal amount of cheer she had always had in her no matter what was to happen to her or anyone else. So I decide to ask her again, but this time I know she will answer using her own brain and not some child's mind that doesn't have a clue about what's happening in that very moment. "So, what do the colors mean then?", my tone of voice had changed to a less serious tone because I already knew the answer and so did she. Cara began to speak, but only this time with a flat regular tone of voice, "The colors indicate whether we are Dangerous - Red -, Helpful - Green -, Smart - Blue -, or Neutral; which meant that you were dangerous, but not deadly - Orange -." We heard voices coming down to the room, guards, I guess they were searching for any slackers and me and Cara would most definitely be considered one of them. I looked to my left and grabbed Cara's hand and made a run for a door that would hopefully lead us to the big odditorium room.
We luckily made it just in time. Mark, who was standing at the entrance doors quietly escorted us to our seats and sat with us instead of sitting with the other guards in the room. I didn't know why he was always around, but it made me feel safer and not as alone in my room as most people were because he actually talked to me most days to avoid awkward silence, which I never complained about how much he talked because I enjoyed his company, but I knew that once he got to a quiet whisper to almost nothing that another guard or the HeadMaster had entered the hallway. At first I wasn't very good at listening for key movements or sounds so I often got yelled at for talking, but as soon as the hallway was clear he would apologize and continue on with what he was saying to begin with. HeadMaster Grimm began to speak and explain what the colors meant, Cara looked over at me and I looked right back at her, but only for a second. He had explained it in a way that wasn't calming or reassuring because that wasn't the type of person he was and he most likely never was like that and I know for a fact that he will never change just by the way he treats everyone especially his wife. Sometimes I feel bad for Mrs. Grimm because she tries so hard to make him happy yet everyone knows how bad of a man he is to her. One day I swear I heard her scream because he had struck her across the face so badly that she had to come ask one of the cafeteria workers for a bag of ice. I had offered to help and she accepted, but that only got me in trouble with Mr. Grimm. He made me stay in my 'Holding Cell' as he liked to call them for a week without any food or water however Mark had felt bad for what I had gotten myself into because I was only trying to help, but he also considered it stupid due to how Mr. Grimm was, so he would sneak leftover food bits to me after everyone else was out doing either training or tending to the garden. Occasionally Mrs. Grimm would come and pay me a visit, but very rarely because she was in charge of what happened with the gardening.
Mr. Grimm didn't assign our colors out in the open; he had only explained that it would happen in alphabetical order according to our last names, Ashley T. Smith, Cara E. Sparks. This meant that I would go before Cara but not too far before her so that we could at least see each other before we were potentially separated for the rest of our lives. It felt like it took ages for them to finally get to mine and Cara's name, but when they finally did a very tall slim man pulled me into a brightly lit room with another man in it. I never really noticed that I had never seen a woman outside of the nursery or the training room, they had nothing against women, but sometimes the men were known to get violent and mainly anytime some kid wasn't where they were supposed to be they got hurt so the women stayed away from anywhere that had any history of violence which basically meant anywhere in the building. Cara was brought to a room that was exactly identical to the room I was put in, but instead there was a woman in her room which made me question if they thought that I was dangerous? I didn't ask the man what he was going to do. I just sat down in the chair he was pointing at. After about 15 minutes he began to speak, he didn't sound normal, he sounded like he was drunk which would probably be an issue for me and potentially his job, but he didn't seem to care about what could happen if someone with a higher authority were to walk by.
"Hello, I'm sure that you already know what you're here for. I'm gonna need you to stay calm and be cooperative today or this might take longer than it's supposed to." I started to understand why he had to act that way, even though he never explained it. He had to act that way to potentially make a child feel like they had the right to laugh in serious conditions before we were assigned to our color groups because there wouldn't be any laughing once we were divided. I know this because HeadMaster Grimm said that we would have specific personalities and rules that we would have to follow in order to fully full-fill the descriptive detail that people expect us to act like. "Yes, I know that I'm going to have to go through a series of tests to figure out my color." His facial expression had changed, he went from being stressed to kind of looking relieved to know that he didn't have to explain it again. To most people that would have been a relief, but for me it was the complete opposite. I felt like the next question was going to be a challenging one to test me and see what all I knew, but I don't know all about what's going to happen to me during these tests, I just hope he gets the hint in my expression that was showing at every inch of my body. "Don't worry I'm not going to ask you a series of questions to see what all you know, but if I was anyone else you would have to be answering 35 questions right about now.", this time he sounded reassuring and it calmed me, but I don't think he thought it would because he pulled out this piece of paper that explained what type of tests I would have to go through. "You don't need to explain what kind of test procedures you're going to do on me. I just want to know if I feel any pain?" I could tell that he seemed to be concerned, but I didn't understand why. "I can't answer that question, I'm sorry." I became angry, but I held it in because I knew what happened the last time I got this angry I almost burned the entire football field, but I have learned to control it most days. He could tell that I was upset about it, but he didn't want to accidentally push me any further so he continued to explain. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you mad, but if you were to get hurt during these tests it would have to be because of your own choices and how you react to the situations you're going to be put through." I tried to understand why he couldn't just tell me if I was going to feel pain or not, but I couldn't.
We began to go over how the tests would start, we never went over how long it would take because in order for the test to end and for it to move onto the next stage, I would have to become calm. "I'm going to need you to lie down under the examining table light." I got up and walked over to the table and layed down. It was like 15 minutes later that he actually came over to the table to start the testing, but I didn't mind because it allowed me to clear my mind and prepare myself to try and get out of the simulations quickly, but also at a normal pace so that he doesn't get any suspicions about me not belonging in a color, but I already know what color I'm going to get and I'm not a big fan of the color. "Alright, sorry for the wait. HeadMaster Grimm wanted me to record our conversation at all times so that might make the process of this take a lot longer than I had originally anticipated." I knew he wanted to know what was going on in every single room, especially since there weren't any cameras in the rooms, but that also meant that the test operator could lie about what was actually being talked about. I'm not going to test this operator; he never told me his name; even if he seemed to not care about the rules in most cases I didn't want to try anything just in case this was one of the rules that he actually followed exactly how he was supposed to.
"Would you like me to tell you what I'm going to do before I do it just to make you feel like you can kind of trust that I'm not going to do anything to hurt you?" I was still really confused about why he wanted me to feel safe and calm during all of this, but I don't know if I'm going to ask right now or after testing. He began to open up a box that looked like it had 4 syringes in it each one had a different color in them - Red, Orange, Green, and Blue - which I'm assuming that I will be injected with every single one of them to figure out what color I am. A few years ago there was a girl about my age who had received all of the colors and they had to go off of the percentage of whatever color had the highest amount.
"Okay, which color do you want to be injected with first?" I honestly didn't care that much, but instead of saying that I said, "Green." His face showed that he wasn't expecting to get that response, I think he was expecting me to choose either Red or Orange. "Alright, I wasn't really expecting that, but whatever you say. I kind of prefer to do Green first instead of Red or Orange." He's not the only one who finds that reassuring, I'm also really glad I said what I said even if I didn't know that I was going to respond like that.
There was a slight pinch once he injected me with the syrium, but I didn't mind, it was the first time that I didn't mind a little bit of pain in my arm. I could feel myself growing dizzy, I noticed that the test operator started to fade. I could hear him steadily trying to keep up with our conversation, but he soon realized that I was too far gone to even comprehend what we were even talking about.
I could hear a faint voice in the background, but I didn't know who's voice it was. "Ashley...", the voice was a faint whisper. I just wish I could pinpoint who it was. "Please, help me. I'm sick and I don't know how much time I have left. I'm not ready to go yet. Please!", she sounded desperate and I felt bad for her. I never turned around though, I've always been scared to look at the sick. Every time I saw a sick person or I passed the hospital I felt like someone had just stabbed me a thousand times in my chest. She didn't stop repeating this in different ways until I had turned around after she said a familiar saying that only my Great Grandmother knew. "Ash, please come help your poor grandma out. After we can go see your father, we can even bring his favorite cup and fill it with the candy he ate all the time, if you want to." At this point I had turned around, but not to help her. I just stood there crying, I could hear myself and I sounded pathetic and I wanted to make it stop, but I couldn't and I hated that feeling - the type of feeling you get when you know that you can't control what's going on - I had a similar feeling about two days ago when my mom started to talk about my father to me trying to tell me that everything was going to be okay, but I didn't believe her, in fact she only made it worse. I had never thought about it because I knew how strong my emotions were and I didn't want to risk hurting anyone especially my mother.
Next thing I knew I felt like I was gasping for air when I woke back up. The operator just stared at me in disbelief. I didn't know why, but I couldn't speak, it felt like I had lost my voice with all of the crying I had done while asleep. "Are you okay?", I asked him before he had the chance to even consider asking me because I was generally concerned. It took a few minutes to answer, "Uh, yes I'm fine. Would you like to continue or take a break?" He seemed like he wanted to take a break, but I just wanted to get this over with so we continued and he decided to tell me what my percentages were for each color. I had gotten 15% for the color Green which meant that the color Green was completely out of question because anything below 25% was considered automatically ruled out of question. We continued with the testing; Blue: 55%, Orange: 68%, and Red: 89%. When I heard my percentages I wasn't surprised and neither was he. Not much was said after that he just went back to his chair and sat at his desk, even though he didn't tell me to come sit I knew that's what he wanted me to do. I walked over to the chair with millions of questions running through my mind; What am I going to do? What will Cara think of me? What if I'm the only Red here and I'm all alone. Will Mark still be my guard? Can I even tell him my result?. Although I had all of these questions running through my mind I only asked one. "Can I tell anyone my color?", I thought he was going to look at me like I was stupid, but instead he just looked normal. "Of course you can tell people, but that is up to you on who you trust will still look at you the same way. I'm sure you have more questions, but we only have time for one more question before they come in here with the next kid for testing." I was trying to find a good question to ask, but the only one that came to mind was; "Will I still have the same guard as before?", he laughed, but not in a making fun of you type of way. "That's for you to decide. You can tell me a specific guard that you would like to have put in front of the door to your room or I can let Headmaster Grimm pick for you." It didn't take long for me to answer; "I would like to keep the same one." I said it like he knew who my guard was - idiot I had thought to myself -. "His name was Mark Thornwell.", I said with a determined tone, like I had no second thought on what his name was, like I had believed what he had told me. Which was strange for me because I had a hard time trusting people.
He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a red wristband. "I'm sure you already know what to do?", I didn't even have to respond my facial expression had already responded for me - my facial expressions were good at doing that and I never got mad about it - "Okay, either I can put it on or you can, but I have to watch you do it although I trust you will put it on correctly, it's just a part of procedure." I didn't refuse the conditions. I grabbed the band and put it on my wrist while he was watching me. I walked back to my room hiding my wristband until I knew I was alone. Once I had gotten to my room Mark was already there. I still didn't know if I wanted to tell him or not so I just walked into my room calmly, but I guess not as calmly as I thought because he immediately turned around and walked into the room and quietly shut the door behind him. "What are you doing? You aren't allowed into any of the rooms.", for the first time I sounded defensive over my room towards him and I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. "Um, I'm sorry. Please don't hit me.", my voice didn't sound so strong anymore and his face didn't look very stern instead he looked concerned. "Why would I hit you? All you did was state the rules that you heard the HeadMaster say to your last guard.", I had just started to forget about what had happened with my last guard, but with him saying that it only brought the memories back.
December 17th, his name was Thomas. One day after tending to the garden I went back to my room to grab a fresh pair of clothes so I could take a shower before going to bed, but something was extremely off with how everything was arranged in my room. Every little detail was different; it looked like someone had gone through my stuff and Thomas was nowhere to be seen. I decided that I would just deal with it when I got back from the showers, but little did I know that Thomas was there waiting for me to return. "What are you doing in here?", my voice was shaking; first because I had just gotten out of the shower and it was cold in the hallways and also because he looked terrifying. "Why did you leave this room without asking for my permission?", he seemed really mad about it, but I was scared to respond so I just stood there saying nothing. "Answer me when I talk to you, girl!" This time he was yelling at me and I had no other choice, but to answer. "I-I didn't think I had to ask to go freshen up after working in the garden.", I could hear my voice shaking and it made me feel pathetic again. He came closer to me and I kept backing up until I felt the door against my back. He put his hands around my wrist and reared his hand back to hit me; it wouldn't be the first time he had hit me; but he didn't get the chance this time. This was only because Mark had noticed my muffled cries behind the closed door. Soon after that I had told Mark that this wasn't the first time this had happened and about 10 minutes later he became my permanent guard.
What he did next took me by surprise. He grabbed me and pulled me close to him and hugged me because he knew that I was on the verge of breaking down. I was used to him comforting me whenever this happened, but not like this. "Hey, it's okay. I won't judge you if you cry.", he didn't say this out loud, instead he whispered into my ear. One of the other guards walked by and threw open the door only to find a guard and crying four-teen year old girl sitting on the bed. Mark glared at him in a way that made the other man leave the room and shut the door behind him. I could tell that he hadn't left and that he was standing outside guarding the door to make sure that no other person was to barge in. He noticed that I was hiding my wrist, "What color did you get?" I didn't want to tell him that I had gotten the worst color of them all; Red, I hesitated to show him and he could tell that I was cautious about it. "I don't care what color you got I'm not going to tell anyone, even if you said that I could." I tried to find a way to tell him, but the only words that came out were, "I think you already know what color I got.", my voice was flat, but shaky. I could see it all over his face that he felt bad because I didn't need to go through the test procedures to know what color I belonged in. "I understand that it's the most dangerous color, but you could use that to your advantage.". This infuriated me because how could me being feared by everyone here. Before I even knew what I was doing I could hear myself speaking, but I didn't sound like my regular self..I wasn't myself. "How is that an advantage! I'm going to be feared by everyone here and Cara is going to hate me! She's always hated Reds and Oranges!" I could hear my voice begin to break and I knew I was about to have a breakdown, but not a regular one. I felt like I could burn down the entire facility if I wanted to. "I just don't want to lose her.", I could tell that he wanted to help, but he didn't know how to.
"You should get some rest. I'll tell Mrs. Grimm to excuse you from your job tomorrow.", he sounded sympathetic, but I didn't want to leave Cara to do that alone. We kind of separated ourselves from everyone else, we had nothing against the people here, we just didn't like change and we knew that we wouldn't get along with anyone. Our entire lives it was just me and her, nobody else. I mean we made new friends, but they didn't stay for long. We never knew why until we heard Josh and his friends talking one night during a sleepover. "Do y'all know why my sister and her friend don't hang around anyone besides us? They barely stay to talk to any of you; it's mainly just me." We didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I'm glad that we did because then we might have never found out the truth as to why our "friends" made up excuses to not hang out with us on the weekends. His friend, Parker, began to speak. "Do you seriously not know what people think of your sister and her friend?", he sounded like he was trying to push Josh to the edge which wasn't a good idea because even if he didn't get as mad as I do he could still do some serious damage. "No, I don't. If I did, do you think I would even ask.", he sounded so irritated that his friends had hid this from him. "Dude, your sister and her friend are weird. They literally separate themselves from everyone, especially from my sister! She tries so hard to be their friend, but they won't let her in. They are so self centered and rude. Also have you not realized how ugly they are.", Parker and the others began to laugh, but Josh didn't find it funny at all. This was the day that we became Joshs' only friends. "My sister and her friend are not any of those things. Either take all of that back or leave.", he didn't want to start a fight, but his friends never left. They continued to laugh and tease him thinking that he wouldn't do anything. The only thing I remember happening next is hearing a loud crash. I remember running in on them fist fighting each other, me beign a stupid 12 year old, I ran in between them and ended up regretting it. I only remember waking up in Cara's bed with Josh sitting beside the bed asleep. He looked so peaceful, but with all of his cuts I could barely see his face for how it actually looked. I tried to get up and get some bandages, but my vision was so blurry that I ran into almost every wall in their house. Cara had gone to school, I never asked Josh why he even stayed. I would have been perfectly fine alone while they were at school.
"You need to sit down Ash, you took a pretty bad hit.", I guess my stumbling around had woken him up. "I'm fine. You should be worried about yourself. I mean I can't even see the actual size of your face because of all the swelling." I knew that he didn't care if he was okay or not but I wasn't going to tell him that I was in massive amounts of pain. "Fair enough. Just please sit down. I'll go get the bandages and some medicine for the both of us." I was surprised that he was actually going to take care of himself for once.
The memory started to fade as I woke up. Mrs. Grimm was there waiting for me. "I'm sorry to barge in on you while you were sleeping, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I heard about your breakdown after testing. You poor thing, it's going to be okay. I knew your color the second you stepped foot in here.", she was always so kind and generous to me it reminded me of my grandmother. "No, it's okay. I'm glad you decided to stop by. Did you need to talk to me about something or did you just come to check up on me. I mean either I don't mind.", I hoped that I didn't come off as rude and how did she know what color I was if the only time I had ever even spoken to her was when I helped her back to her room. Was she around when I had breakdowns like this? Or was she around when I felt like I could burn this entire place to ashes? "No, I don't need to ask you anything. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.", I couldn't tell if she was lying or not, but if I'm being honest I didn't really care that much. I just wanted to find Cara and tell her what color I got in hopes she didn't get the same one. If she did then that meant I knew nothing about who she really was. Cara was smart, helpful, and selfless. She never took anything for granted and I know that if she saw her Grandmother standing in front of her declaring she was sick she wouldn't hesitate to run to help her. This meant that she was green. "I'm assuming you're wondering where Cara is?", that's one of the things I actually disliked about her. She always knew what another person was thinking just by looking at them. "Yes ma'am.", I was speaking like I had just raised my voice and her and I was trying to fix my tone, but I knew that she wasn't the one I yelled at, it was Mark.
Mrs. Grimm told me that I would be able to find her in the library. I swear Cara was always either reading or writing any chance she got a tad bit of silence. Well that wasn't true she once read an entire book on the Subway, which was extremely crowded that day. I walked into the library and there I saw Cara just how I had imagined her with her nose stuck in a book. I didn't speak. I just sat down beside her and let her finish up the chapter she was reading before I had walked in. "Cara,..", I couldn't even hear myself talk with all the voices in my head telling me not to tell her my color. "Hmm? Oh hey, I'm pretty sure we both know what colors each other got, but I want to hear it from you and not from what I think, and I'm sure you want the same form me. Right?" She saw right through me and continued speaking. "I'm sure you already know my color, but I got green.", we began to laugh. I gasped as if I was surprised. "I didn't think you would get that color. Congratulations." She knew I was joking even though I didn't sound like I was kidding, but that's what good about our friendship. "I'm guessing you got red, right?", it showed all over me that she was correct. "It's okay I'll still see you just from across the room and I'm sure Mark will let me come visit you.", she tried so hard to help, but I didn't feel anything. I've been preparing myself for this since I was eight. "I'll be fine. I always am. This is nothing compared to what my mother kept saying to me.", I guess she had forgotten everything my mother had done to me. She used to say that as long as I kept having the urge to burn an entire building down she would have no choice, but to hand me over to authorities. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it back up.", I knew that she meant it, but I was still upset about it. We spent the rest of the day together. We never went back to our rooms alone. Mark talked to the HeadMaster and made it to where we could sleep in the same room just for tonight.
The next morning Cara had to go back to her room and get ready for her new job as a green, while I got ready for my new job as a red. I had always heard stories about what the reds did, but I never really believed them. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and just continued to get ready. I walked to Mr. Grimm's office to receive my job and my responsibilities. No one was there when I had reached his door, I guess everyone else either came earlier or they haven't came yet. I was really nervous to get my job because the HeadMaster was terrified of reds and oranges. I never knew why, but I never wanted to ask because I knew I would most likely get punished for asking. I knocked on the door and waited for him to say come in. I waited about 30 minutes before I decided to just walk right into his office. What I saw next oddly broke me. I had never thought seeing HeadMaster Grimm dead would take such a big toll on me, but it did. I started to run back to my room, blinking the tears away from my eyes as I ran past everyone bumping into anyone that seemed to be in the way. I don't remember if I said sorry or if I just kept pushing past them until my legs began to feel like they were made of jelly. My heart was racing, but I didn't stop until I could make out Mark just standing in the doorway. I don't know how I managed to push him out of the way, but he didn't resist it. I slammed the door and locked it so he couldn't come in. I didn't want him to know that I was crying over a heartless man that I barely even knew. I don't know how long it was until I stopped crying, all I know is that nobody was at my door when I got up to leave. I wondered where Mark was, but then again I didn't want to talk to anyone. I started down toward the backroom I had taken Cara into a few minutes before we had to go to the color ceremony. The room was empty, like it had always been, but this time it was different. I don't really know how an empty room could look different, but when I turned the lights on the room seemed to actually have a purpose. I now knew why Mark showed me this room in particular. This room used to be his. I don't know how I never noticed it before, but I guess since my mind was actually clear and not blurry I could see where he had carved his name into the door.
I heard footsteps approaching and began to panic, but I didn't try to run. I just stood there and waited for the person to enter the room. It was Mrs. Grimm, what was she doing here? I decided to hide behind where the door would swing inward. "My goodness! You scared me. What are you doing here?", I could tell she had been crying just like I had been. "Mark- I mean Mr. Thornwell said I could come here to clear my mind. I'm sorry I'll just leave.", I didn't want to leave, but I also didn't want to stay. "Oh, okay. You don't have to leave, but if you insist. I'm sorry that you were the one to find him like that.", she began to sob as I walked out of the room. I could see Mark standing at the end of the hallway waiting for someone. He waved for me to come to him and I wasn't going to resist because he was still in charge of me. "I guess you were the one to find him just lying there?", he also sounded like he had been crying but I didn't know why and this time I wasn't going to push the thought to the back of my mind. "Have you been crying?", I didn't sound sympathetic, more like demanding. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound rude or anything. I-I have no right to ask. You don't have to answer." I was expecting for him to get mad and just tell me to go back to my room, but instead he grabbed me by the arm and walked me back to my room. "It's okay that you asked. I mean I never showed any emotion towards him, but there's something that I have never even imagined telling anyone here.", I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know something that he never wanted to even bring up to anyone. "Mr. Grimm was my father. I don't know if I've ever shown any resemblance to him, but if I have I'm sorry.", well I don't think HeadMaster Grimm was very sympathetic, but if I'm being honest I didn't know the man so the next thing I said was, "I don't want to assume anything so I want you to answer honestly. Was he sympathetic or sweet?", I hope that he got what I was trying to say but I wasn't sure. "It kind of depended what situation he was in. If he were to see me or my mother crying, he wouldn't do much to cheer us up. He did have his moments where he would be helpful, but I don't know what turned him into the man everyone knows him to be.", I hated to hear his voice breaking but I had so many more questions. "I have so many questions, but I just want to leave this horrid place." I knew where we could have escaped, but I didn't want it to just be me and Cara. I wanted Mark, his Mom, Josh, and the operator that was in charge of my testing. I wanted to find a way to let everyone out of here, but I wanted the government to realize that we could control ourselves without us being treated like wild animals in a cage. "If we are going to leave we first need to pay a visit to the Mayor.", I knew as soon as I said this that he already had a plan in place just by looking at him.
I started to look for Cara and her brother. I figured that Cara would be in the library, but I couldn't find her in there. Josh on the other hand was in the work out room, he always went there at around this time of day. Right before dinner in the cafeteria he would come to work out and then go take a quick shower before dinner so that he didn't smell bad while he was around everyone and their food. "Oh hey Ash. Aren't you supposed to be with Cara in the library discussing what to have for lunch?", a little laugh escaped from me but it didn't last very long. "Yeah, that's why I'm here actually. Do you know where Cara is?", the look on his face told me that he had no clue where she was. "I just talked to her about 10 minutes ago. She said she was going to the library to wait for you. Is she not there?", that was a stupid question I wouldn't have asked if she was. "No, I checked for her in there because we always go there while you are here, but I don't know where she is and I'm worried. She stayed in my room last night and when I woke up she was gone, along with everything she brought with her. I went to her room and it was empty, just a mattress and dresser, none of her belongings were there.", I didn't mean to worry him but it was too late. I couldn't take back what I had said. His arms began to tremble and I saw the weight beginning to drop. I quickly rushed to help him. I guess it was the adrenaline because on a normal day I would have struggled to lift it up and put it on it's holder. "Hey, it's gonna be okay. You know how she gets after someone dies. She probably went to get some air." This was the first time I saw Josh ever cry. I didn't know what to do besides just sit down beside him and let him cry.
After about 15 minutes, it grew silent in the room. We missed dinner, but surprisingly I wasn't hungry. Josh had stopped crying, but he didn't move from the position he had been sitting in for what seemed like forever. "It's getting late and I need you to be fully awake for tomorrow. I have a plan, well actually Mark or Mr. Thornwell has a plan." It felt so strange to address him as I was supposed to. I remember my first day here I had called him that and he had told me to just call him Mark. Now that I think about it if he's Mr. Grimms' son, why are their last names different? "What kind of plan?", his voice was still a little shaky, but I'm sure it will pass over in a minute. "I plan on getting us out of here, but in order to do that I need to first get out alone. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but I need to speak to the mayor to tell him that we have our "powers" under control and that we won't cause any trouble. Before I pay him a visit I need to find someone who can make him believe it and not only pretend to just to send us back." I could see in his eyes that he wasn't sure this would work if I went alone, but I wasn't risking losing anyone if I weren't able to make it back. "Ash, I know you want to get out but I'm not sure going to the mayor will do anything. I say we just get out and stay away from the city. We can find some place else, where we won't have to hide from anyone ever again." It sounded like a good idea but didn't he want to see his family one last time? "What about your family Josh. Don't you want to see them again?" I don't even know why I asked if I could see in his eyes that he didn't care to see his family, not even with it being the last time he would ever get the chance most likely. "C'mon Ash, you already knew I didn't want to see them again. I just want to leave this place. It reeks of blood and old food, why stay? Plus my family wouldn't want to see me. According to them I'm a threat and I could hurt someone even though I'm a blue. After everything I did for them it's like it doesn't matter now." I knew where he was coming from even if we were two different colors. "Alright, lets just get some sleep and tell me if you see Cara and if you do tell her about the plan and get her on board with it.
As I was walking back to my room I saw a figure standing at my door. They were too short to be Mark, I couldn't tell if it was Cara or someone else, but I didn't really care who it was. I began to walk a little bit faster. After I got a little bit closer I could make out who the person was, Cara. "Cara where have you been? Josh and I have been so worried about you.", her face was wet with tears. "Have you been crying?", I don't know how long it was until she answered but when she did I didn't know how to respond. "I heard Mark say that he was going to get us out of here, but he wasn't going to get out. He was going to get everyone out and tell you to drive as far away from the city as possible and that he would catch up but in reality he's going to blow this entire place to bits with him in it." We stood there in silence until she shoke again. "I'm sorry, I have to go back to my room before I get in trouble again. Please get some sleep." She hugged me but I didn't hug her back. All I could do was just stand there saying nothing. Why would he sacrifice himself? Why couldn't he just come with us? This isn't right!
I went into my room and instead of getting ready for bed I put on some training clothes and started making my way to the front doors of the facility. I was going to go for a run to get my mind off of things until I saw Mark making his way back into the facility coming from behind the building. "Going out for a run late at night instead of morning?", his tone seemed suspicious and like he just got done yelling at someone for over an hour. "Yeah, I've decided that I might as well get better at running just in case someone were to do something stupid tomorrow morning during the escape. I'm assuming you were doing the same?" I tried to sound as calm as I possibly could, but I was so mad and upset that I doubt it sounded believable. "Yeah, actually I just got finished. Be careful and be sure to be quiet when you get back so you don't wake anyone.", he sounded so angry that I even mentioned someone messing things up but I honestly didn't care. I waited until he went inside to begin my run because before I started to run I just fell to the ground and broke down. Why would he want to blow this place to bits while he was inside? I somehow managed to push the thought to the back of my mind.
I ran until my watch said that it was 4:30 A.M. I went back inside and took a shower, nobody was awake so I didn't get asked any questions as to why I was just now getting back into the building. I was surprised to see that Mark wasn't standing at my door. I didn't put too much thought into what I was going to bring with me, to be honest I didn't have much in my room. All I had was my school books, school uniform, some bobby pins, a flashlight, and a locket necklace my Dad got me 3 days before he passed. As I was packing I heard the security alarm go off, but it was too early the plan wasn't supposed to go into effect right now it was only eight o'clock. Not even ten minutes after the alarm went off, Mark came to see if I was still in my room or not. "You need to hurry and get everyone out. We might not have that much time left, you know before the government comes to see what all the commotion is about.", he had a point but I still couldn't get what Cara said out of my head. I'll come back for him and tell Cara to drive and that I would catch up with them whenever I could. I went to make sure Cara was getting the vehicles ready to go and Josh was getting everyone out of the building quickly but also safely. I couldn't seem to find Mark anywhere, but I had assumed he was helping get everyone outside. I walked to the front doors and noticed that Mark was outside, but he was walking back inside so I quickly headed toward Cara to tell her to go ahead and leave without Mark and I. "Cara I know this may sound crazy, but I need you, Josh, and whoever else is driving to get going. The government will be here any minute now and I don't want to risk us getting caught and relocated.", I could see that she was contemplating what to say next to try and convince me to come with them and let Mark do what he wants to do but I couldn't let Mark sacrifice himself alone. I needed him to come with me. I don't know what I'll do if I lose one of my closest friends in the entire facility. "Cara, I know you're about to try and tell me to let Mark go and just let him die because he's a determined person, but I can't let him do this. We will see each other again, I promise. I love you so much I would never send myself into a dangerous act knowing that I wouldn't be able to see you again. If I knew for a fact we would never see each other again I wouldn't do this. I need you to be strong and to make sure everyone gets to the farthest city from here safely, nobody is to be left behind." I gave her a big hug and shut the door so she could hurry and get out of the city limits.
I ran back into the building and saw Mark placing small black objects in every room, corner, and shelf. I didn't want him to know I had followed him back in so I quietly followed him around watching him place the bombs everywhere, ensuring that nothing would be left. He had finally gotten to the last room, his father's office. He stopped right in the doorway and took a good look around. He finally went inside of the room, but he didn't place any bomb in the room just yet. "What are you doing? I thought you left with Cara and them.", I couldn't tell if he was angry or completely unfazed by it. "I couldn't just let you blow this place to bits with you in it. If you're going to blow the place up. Please do it when we are far enough away that we wouldn't get hurt by any of the debris.", I hoped that it would get through to him in just those few words but I don't think it did. "Ash, you don't understand how long I've been trapped in here. If you knew or if it was you, you would do the same." He was right. I didn't know how long he had been here, but I didn't really care. "You're wrong. I wouldn't kill myself in the process of blowing up the place that I was trapped in for what seemed like forever. I would rather want to watch the place blow to pieces instead of just imagining it and then dying without seeing it completely gone." I didn't even know what I was saying, but I hoped that it made sense because I didn't want Mark to be gone forever.
"Ever since this place had been built my father locked me up because he already knew about the colors and how they all worked. I've been in here since I was 10, the day you arrived marked being in here for 10 years. Do you know how old I am?", at this point he had turned around and walked towards me. "No, you never said. Probably because I never asked and also because your age didn't matter when we first met and it still doesn't." I had many estimates as to how old he was and I was a lot closer than I thought: 22, 25, or 24. "I'm 24 years old and I never got to live out my childhood because my father decided that we were too dangerous for anyone normal to be around us." I was so mad at the fact that he couldn't see that with him being 24 that he could still enjoy life at a young age. "Exactly you're 24 and you want to end it all right now. What about that bucket list that you're always talking about at dinner? You could do all of those things but you need to be alive to finish it. So please Mark let's go. I already have a car for us to take and we can drive to the top of the mountain on the way to the others and watch this place blow to pieces. You don't have to go down with it to make you feel any better because if you do then you most definitely won't be able to start that bucket list, you would have a higher chance at starting it before we escaped." After a while he agreed and we started to walk to the car when we heard sirens wailing in the distance. They were coming and fast too. I took the shortcut to the top of the mountain so we could still watch it blow up.
Mark hit the button and within 5 seconds later the entire place was nothing, but big chunks of brick and wood. We didn't wait to see what the cops were going to do about it. As soon as the explosions were over we sped away from the city as fast as possible to ensure we wouldn't get caught. I couldn't believe that only being in the facility for only four month felt like I was there for a year. I was just happy to finally be able to run freely or I would be able to whenever we made it to the new city far away enough that the government wouldn't send any cops after us. The entire ride there was silent, but I didn't mind. I was glad that we could just sit in peace and quiet and just listen to the car wheels run over the smooth asphalt. We reached the tunnel that marked the new city limits. This meant that in only 45 minutes I would get to see Cara and Josh again. The tunnel felt like it took an eternity to reach the end of, but when we did not even 15 minutes later it began to heavily pour down rain. The rain kept getting worse and worse, but we wouldn't just pull to the side of the road and wait out the rain. We were on a cliff heading toward a bridge that would lead us straight to the city. The roads were so slick that I could hear the tires sliding. We reached the bridge, but as soon as we got onto the bridge it was like the road had gotten 10 times worse.
We almost went off the side of the bridge a couple of times, but at the middle part of the bridge the road was too slick and we couldn't slow down. It was like it all happened in slow motion, but in reality it happened so fast. Next thing I knew the car was fully submerged under water. I tried so hard to get out, but I felt like there were a thousand giants pushing me back down into my seat. I'm sure Mark could have gotten out, but he was knocked unconscious. I felt like I was suffocating, it was miserable I never thought drowning would be so painful. I thought it would have been peaceful, but I guess I was wrong. I could feel myself letting go of life, but I could also feel myself fighting for my life back. At some point I wanted to just let go, but I didn't want to leave Cara after telling her that I would make it back to her. I wanted to leave her a good-bye message, but I don't know how that could even be possible unless she were to find my journal that I had given her the day I told her that I might be moving towns. There was a page in it that I had written just in case I were to pass without saying an official goodbye to her.
Dear Cara,
If you're reading this then that means that I have passed and I never said a proper goodbye or I did and you're just now finding this. I'm sorry that I couldn't stay any longer. Please forgive me. Please promise me that you will still live your life and promise me that you won't give up on our dreams just because I won't be there to do them with you. I love you and I'm going to miss you. I won't leave you spiritually I promise. If I see you stirring off track I swear to you I will help you out.
Love,
Ashley
