The ground she walks on

Worshipped by yours truly

She is fierce, she is bad ass, she is passionate she is ME. Today I owe myself appreciation. I am the woman in my life that I look up to. I am a wife,  I am a mother at the age of 22  am I not considered fierce? I strut in a world full of hate, unappreciation and ignorance. I walk among women who despise their own. I stride through men underestimating  and disrespecting what created them! I started working at the age of 14. I started my life earlier than I should have. I gave away my innocence in the act of manipulation. Yet I didn't let anything get in my way. I worked  through middle school and high school. I stayed on top of my grades and managed to actually have a childhood. I graduated high school with honors and I  met someone I was willing to stick through whatever with. At the age of 18, I was pregnant and I didn't know it yet but it was twins. I stressed through almost 3 months of college and came the worst day of my life. I went into early labor and I lost my world. I missed their kicks and their existence. A year later a surprise pregnancy, I was ecstatic. I started school again determined to finish. Just when everything was going perfect, I lost another baby. I'm a college drop out living with my mother and lost 3 children. I felt like everything I did was wrong. I went through 2 more miscarriages and at that point I was for certain it wasn't meant for me to be a mother. Though it hurt, I was ready to make peace with it. In 2019 I was pregnant, I was scared and didn't know what to expect.  I was overjoyed, no complications with my pregnancy but I was still terrified. I had my baby was married to her father not too long after. I was happy but I wasn't complete. The year 2020 wasan for an eventful year. I became pregnant again. This year changed my life, I received blessing after blessing. I moved into my own place with my husband, purchased my first car and had another successful pregnancy. My story may seem like a fairytale to some or like a joke to others but I made it through trauma.  Even with losing family left to right including our own children, me and my husband continue to stay grounded. We went through not being accepted and losing jobs but we're still here. I'm still here. Even when I wanted to give up I tried to pray but I seemed to never get an answer. I lost faith, I lost friends, I even lost MYSELF. So yes, I look up to me. Looking back on my life, I know it caused pain and I'm still nowhere near where I WANT to be but I wouldn't trade being a mother, being a wife or being me for the world.