It doesn't make sense at all

Sadness in the night

"I miss you Chanyeol...

I don't know what to write right now but what can I say? I warned you, you knew it was coming."

"I miss you Vitoria...

I know. You warned me, but I didn't want to listen. I couldn’t. And you know why.”

When I read the reply, I couldn’t do anything else but cry.

"It's all my fault."

" Don't cry jagi. You can't blame yourself."

- Haha - I laughed between my tears. - You know I'm crying.

"Stop it oppa. You know you won't help me saying nonsense".

"Why do you keep saying that to me? It hurts."

"What is hurting you?"

"The fact that I'm not with you right now.

I can't hug you tightly in my arms and say that everything's gonna be alright."

Those words pierced through my heart. I could feel his pain and I knew I was guilty. Only me. No one else.

I cried so hard that I didn't know where all this water was coming from.

His pain.

It hurts me more than anything.

My phone vibrated again in my hands. I was crying so much that I forgot to reply.

"Please don't cry."

Anger boiled through my veins and I screamed.

- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

"WHY? Why do you keep comforting me when I'm the one who should be comforting you?"

"Because I love you"

I only stared at my screen as soon as other message came.

"PABO"

"I don't deserve you." I wrote down with my shaky hands.

"It's funny when you say that. Because it is what I've always thought."

"I hate you Park Chanyeol"

I couldn’t write more than this.

"Why?"

But I needed him to know.

"Because you're the most idiot person on the universe. I demanded you to move on and still you are so stubborn, telling me that you won't."

"You're the most idiot one jagi, not me. Why you're even surprised with my attitude? I told you I'll wait for you."

"But it's not certain that I will come back. You need to understand that."

"Who said I didn't? I understood it from the very beginning, you made it clear as water."

"But you're suffering..."

"Yes, I am. And you need to understand that it was my choice not listening to you. I already knew this sadness was coming. I accepted that. I prepared myself for that."