Dear Alois (Black Butler, One Shot, Cielois [CielxAlois])

Dear Alois

"Even in his final days, Ciel Phantomhive was beautiful as could be. He didn't look sickly or pale. No, my dear Ciel was just as amazing as always. He died young, but he died happy." Alois had spoken to the people. He hadn't really paying attention to anyone in particular. The sad vacant eyes were hardly bearable when they'd come over and say their apologies, so as he read a speech, pathetically trying not to cry in despair for his husband, the faces seemed worse. It didn't help that their young daughter, Emma, was sitting in the first row.

After Alois had finished speaking he stepped away. He slowly went back to his seat, where his eyes stayed on the casket with the body. How could he have let this happen? But, then again, it wasn't his fault. He couldn't help that Ciel had developed a cancer. He'd known Ciel was sick on the day of their wedding. At the time it had seemed like nothing a doctor couldn't fix with a little medicine, it was small and they had their whole married lives ahead of them.

It wasn't until their daughter's third year of living with them that it hit.

Ciel felt worse than usual, almost unable to stand. When he went to the ER, they were able to tell him that it was only a matter of time. The bluenette had tried his hardest to fight, and it showed everyday, but sadly there are some fights you cannot win.

September 17, 2014, Ciel Phantomhive passed away. Three months before his birthday, two before Alois', only one for Emma's and exactly three days before his wedding anniversary with his husband. Alois knew it wasn't Ciel's fault, but a part of him was angry at him for dying.

Days before, Alois had hope that his beauty wouldn't have a single minute less than he would. He had hope that as the days passed Ciel would get better and be able to be more active and such. Sadly, the blonde couldn't have been more wrong. When he died, it hit him hard.

Now, months after his death and funeral, Alois sat in their room, on their bed. He stared at the pictures that still remained on Ciel's dresser. He studied their wedding picture and the picture after they'd adopted Emma and all the other loving, amazing memories. How he wished he could go back to those times, the times that death seemed like a far off complication; nothing they'd have to deal with soon. Sadly, everyone has to face their mortality at some point, Ciel's just happened to be earlier than most.

Alois walked over and picked up the picture of his husband and him, both wearing suits at their wedding, Alois wearing the same ring in the picture as he wore now. He looked at the playful smile on the blonde's face, how it was contrasting to the warm one on the bluenette's. Night and day, they were. But how they got along so well, no one was sure of, not even the couple themselves.

Alois went to set the picture down, but saw a small, white, folded up piece of paper flutter to the floor. Confused, he set down the frame and bent over. He picked it up, furrowing his eyebrow at the sight of his husband's neat handwriting on the outside. He was even more confused as to why his name was scrawled on the top. He unfolded it to reveal the writing of the dead.

Dear Alois,

Reading this now, you might be angry, or something of that matter. I need you to know this: I love you. I know that I'm never going to live as long as you, not in my condition, but I still hope that even with that, you'll stay by my side. It's selfish of me, really, to expect that of you. Knowing you, you're thinking something against that statement, but deep down you know it is. Maybe I've already died, maybe I've already left you alone. For that, I apologize. It's something you can't forgive me for, I know that. Dying wasn't something I could've controlled, but maybe I shouldn't have let someone as amazing as you marry a dysfunctional boy, who's destined to live a shorter life than you. For that, I regret marrying you.

At the same time, I don't regret it at all. You're amazing, you're beautiful. You're everything I could ask for. Who wouldn't want you? You got me out of the house, you forced me to enjoy life like I should. You were the light in my life. While I was midnight, you were day, and you made me see things the way you did. I have to say, your point of view of this world was much better than mine. I was always so angry to be cursed with my illness and the death and murder of my family. You'd gone through much worse, but you still had a sense of trust about you. For that, I thank you.

Even after you discovered my illness, you were there. On the days of fear, you stayed and you made everything better, just like you always do. On our wedding day you said to me that if what we had wasn't love, you didn't know what was. You always have something about you that draws me nearer, closer. Like I said, you're the light of my life. For that, I'm grateful to you.

I'm going to die someday, long before you. I imagine you'll still be there. I imagine that you're still going to be the same Alois I married, maybe we'll even have a child. I always did like the name 'Emma'. I can always imagine my future, Alois, and you're always there. You're in my dreams, and you're always on my mind. You've managed to make everything in my life about you, in a good way of course. I want to treat you like a princess, because that's what you deserve. You're everything I need and want. You've made me happy when it seemed impossible to everyone else, and me. For that, I love you, my Princess.

-Ciel, your Prince

Alois stared at the letter for a moment. Had Ciel actually written that? Had he known for a long time, longer than Alois, that he would die sooner rather than later? Had Ciel Phantomhive really been that brave, to face death every day? There was only one answer to that question: Yes.