A Letter To..

A Letter to My Parents

Hello Ma and Pa. I am writing this letter to both of you as I can't take this feeling that I am currently feeling right now. I am deeply hurt, sad and depressed with all the things thats been happening in my life right now. And as the eldest, I've learned how to keep everything in. I have to, because I know as the eldest I bear a lot of responsibility. And I learned that from the moment I met my siblings. At the early age, you have taught me a lot of stuff. That as the eldest, I had to let go of things. From toys to pasalubong, from watching my favorite cartoon show. You taught me to watch all my sibling's back. At home and school. You always tell me to eat breaks and lunches with them. To visit them in the room when I have time. All the eldest sibling stuff. I learned it from the very start. Up until I grew up, I brought a lot of this lesson with me even until this very moment. To make things short, Mama Papa.. I know my responsibilities and I will always keep them. Now that I grew up, sure there are some things that I am not able to follow. I am no longer as obedient as I was before but I know where I stand. I know my limits. I know the what is right and what is wrong. What will benefit me most and what will harm me in the future I know this things but not everything. Yes. I know that. But that's the purpose of life. Not everything will go as planned. I may make some mistakes here and there but theres a hidden beauty (purpose) in that making a mistake. And that is the "lesson" that I will learn from that. I know that. All I'm asking is to trust me. I know you're only being protective and all the parent sixth sense. But I'm already at the age of where I should discover things on my own. The age where I should take responsibility for my actions. The stage where the I should decide for my own life, my future. I wanted you to trust my decisions in life my here on. As I want to enjoy other people in the early 30's would want to enjoy before they get married and settle down. I want to explore things, learn new things but this protective parent thing keeps holding me back. Yes, you guys are holding me back. As much as I don't want to blame you but yes. You're words and actions are holding me back from discovering my potentials, from deciding want I would want for myself and for my future. I know you're worried and just want to protect me. But how would I know? I know you are scared of what my happen, of what if what happen in your past might happen to me but I think that's part of learning in life. You will never learn if you won't make a mistake. It might or might not hurt me in the run but that experience will bring me to make the right decision in the future. Do you get what I'm saying? I would also want to make decisions for myself.. be free you know. And not because you're making me free would mean that I'll forget about everything that you've taught me. That I'll forget about you. That I won't be taking care of you when you guys get hold. Why would I be? You never taught me that. You always tell me to not forget to look back on my past, to not forget about the people that helped me and raised the person who I am today. How come you will think about me abandoning my parents for all the things they've done. Like what kind of a child would that be? What kind of person that be? Maybe others do that but surely not me. Because I know myself that I have blessed with beautiful parents they might not be perfect. Nobody is. Because I know that we were made not to be perfect, because it'll need one to make a two to make new number and perfection can be made by lessons created from making mistakes. All I'm saying is, please trust me and let me go. Letting me go doesn't mean that you'll stop caring or I'll stop caring for you guys. Letting me go means that I am ready to do things for myself. I will always know where I came from and what my responsibilities are trust me please.. I beg you. End this thoughts of you not trusting me with my decisions in life. I only want you to be happy.. I want to be happy to.

And before I end this letter I'll be ending it withe Nelson Mandela's Poem.

"Letting go"

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring: it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off; it is the realization that I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another;
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own outcomes. To let go is not to be protective; it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can be. To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
- Nelson Mandela