Fate's Mistake

Fate's Mistakes

The plane was ready to leave soon. The two friends who have seen one another through their roughest patches were about to separate. But could you even call them friends? Was there even a strong enough word to describe what the two held for each other? Their existence seems to have been prompted simply out of need to be there for each other. Soulmates. That's what they thought they were. That's what they knew they were. But neither will ever admit that. Because what do you say to your soulmate leaving your side? I love you? Please don't go? Thank you for being there? No. It's better to leave things unsaid than to stir up a need for some unnecessary closure. So the two do what seems most natural to them. Their signature fist bump. The one they've performed after countless imaginary alien encounters, the end of exams, after volleyball matches... any moment they thought warranted such an exchange. On the outside, a friendly gesture. But to the two boys, it was another layer of their deeply rooted feelings.

"Ten minutes till boarding for Flight 0104!"

The two pull away from their first bump to see a crowd slowly pile around the boarding gate. The flight attendant does her best to wrangle the crowd into unified lines based on where the passengers are seated. Oikawa watches as a mother tries to tear a ball out of her son's hands and put it in his carry-on. Upon closer inspection, he sees that it's a volleyball.

Volleyball. The sport that Oikawa had dedicated his life to, all his time and energy, and now his career. He thought that after losing his spot at nationals to Karasuno, he wasn't worthy of setting to his teammates. He pinned the loss on himself. His team was strong, talented, and successful, so there was no way it could have been their fault. It had to have been his. He almost gave up on the sport after that. If he couldn't play and win with a team that worked their asses off everyday, then he wasn't worthy of playing on any team. If it hadn't been for Iwaizumi, he probably would have listened to that negating voice in his head.

"Hey? Shittykawa?" The man himself pulls Oikawa from his thoughts. They lock eyes.

Oikawa tries to hide his pain behind an exaggerated pout. "Again with the language, Iwa. I'll have you know that those vulgar names of yours do nothing for my self-esteem."

"Don't whine," Iwaizumi grumbles. "Soon that won't be a problem. You'll be gone and I won't have to bother you anymore."

They stop in their tracks at his words.

Why? Iwaizumi asks himself. Why did I say that?

Why? Oikawa wonders. Why would he say that?

Iwaizumi hadn't meant to say that last bit. But their conversation was punctuated with the silence of awkward vocabularies not yet fully grown, and neither could avoid it. They were grasping at their true feelings with quips that got them nowhere. Iwa wanted to say that he would miss him and the opportunities he got to make fun of him, but it came out more aggressive than intended.

It was hard losing the person you're closest too. It won't be the same once he's gone. Even if the two use cell phones to communicate, things won't ever feel normal or natural again. Oikawa can never call Iwaizumi up at ten at night to help with his serves and sets, and Iwaizumi can never invite Oikawa over to his house to help him study for upcoming tests and quizzes. The two will be able to talk to another, but they will lose that physical connection that tied them together in a knot. A big part of their relationship relied on the fact that they would always be there for one another. That if called up, the other would be at their doorstep ready to help in an instant.

Iwaizumi just now lashed out a bit at his friend because he realized that he would lose that connection that he thought made their friendship viable. And he was scared, though he would never admit it. He had to be strong for his friend, which he seemed to be doing a pretty piss-poor job at so far.