The Madman's Ex Wife (Batman x Harley Quinn)

Chapter 1

Batman's POV

The breeze puffs up my cape. The Gotham lights that glimmer in the night are dimmed by the polluted air. I am perched on a building in downtown gotham and my silhouette is barely distinguishable in the smog. I shake out my shoulders, stiff from being rich all day.

"AAaAaAAAAAAAAaAA HELP", startled, I turn to the sound. A scream in the distance.

I jump from building to building towards the sound and find that it's coming from an alley near the shopping district.

I can't see very well standing on the building roof above the alley, so I squint to see better, raising my eyebrows when I realize that Harley and Joker are there with a third person. I shift closer and turn on a hearing device in my ear that helps me hear far away. A little tingle runs through my spine. I wonder what Harley's up to now.

"An' I told ya so many times that you're about ta' wake the entire neighbawhhood!" Harley is moving her hands doing something I can't quite make out at the feet of a middle aged woman who looks like she's fallen.

The Joker chimes in "We weren't planning to kill you but iF you won'T SHUT UP," the Joker continues on sounding like he's talking to a baby, "We won't have a choice."

"PUDDIN'! But you said we'd stop killin and staht torturin'!" Harley says. The middle aged woman whimpers and new tears overlap the ones that already are covering her face. "Pathetic," The Joker remarks. It might just have been a trick of the light but Harley seems to flinch at that.

She moves to the other side of the lady, holding something glittering in her hand. A jolt of realization runs through me. Joker and Harley are STEALING THE LADY'S SHOES. I guess they finally realized that there's things to steal other than diamonds and cash from a bank's vault.

I take out a rope with three hooks at one end of it that are set in the formation of a triangle. I usually use it to swing from building to building but it should work well for this too.

I throw out my arm so that the hooks at the end of the rope reach Harley's hand, then pull back hard so a glittery shoe falls into my hand.

"Hey! Now that ain't a fair fight is it Batsy. An' I thought ya cared 'bout all that 'Truth an' justice' stuff."

Harley stands there for a moment with her arms crossed and a pouty face. cute. I feel a warm feeling despite the bitter cold. Then she throws the other shoe towards the Joker and starts after him. He's already running towards their car at the end of the alley.

I move to the section of the roof closest to where the car is at.

As soon as the Joker gets into the car, he shuts both doors and shouts to Harley, "I don't drive people home that don't let me kill. You're on your own from now on." And he speeds off.