Validation.
Whenever people invalidate me, I get upset, but when I'm alone, I invalidate myself. When others validate me, I get upset again because I feel like they're either lying to make me feel better or I just can't believe them.
It must all be my fault, if I just had enough self control and positivity and desire to improve and better work ethic, it could be better. If I just went outside, woke up earlier, did my assignments on time, ate my meals properly, everything would be better. But I'm lazy and just make excuses. It must all be excuses and not because of some unseen chemical in my brain.
It's my own fault and nothing else's, I cannot believe that anything will fix it except me. And I don't want to fix it. Or I want to, but not enough to change. Or maybe I don't have enough energy or desire. I don't know.
I'm just so tired of everything, I'm tired of this game. I just want it to stop. I want to play a new game.
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Feelings of Depression
Non-FictionMaybe you'll find something that resonates with you here.