Touché

Prologue

Walt Disney once said "laughter is timeless, imagination has no age and dreams are forever" yet i'm starting to think that my dreams are not forever. I gave up. maybe i shouldn't have done that but i didn't see any other way. I gave up the moment my parents died in a horrible accident. The moment that i shouldn't care but i did, because they are still my family even after what they had done. The moment that i thought i had lost everything but actually i still have my little sister. The moment of silence and condoleances. The silence is the worst, because it gives you time to think about everything you don't want to think about. i thought about my horrible life, about how i should have been there for my parents and mostly for my little sister. I can't look her in the eyes, seeing the hurt i have caused by leaving her behind with my parents and the way she said to me that it wasn't my fault. After the silence comes the storm. The storm of condoleances. I don't want it. I should be happy that my parents are gone, but no child should ever think like that. What is wrong with me? My life is so twisted that i can't even think straight anymore. It wasn't always like this though. There was a time of happiness but that time has been gone for a long time. My parents were very abusive. That's why i hate them so much. But i know deep down inside that it's not hate that i feel for them. It's fear. Fear of becoming like one of them one day. I feared them, but not anymore. This is the reason why i left. I was a very troubled kid, with abusive parents and a lonely sister. That doesn't sound very appealing, does it? At the time i didn't really care. I was fourteen and always thought about me. I was the most important person in my life. Everything changed when my sister started to seek contact with me. I didn't take her with me when i left because i was very scared that i had became the same person as my parents. Abusive and dominant. I was, but i didn't want to admit that, but protecting my sister was something i did without even thinking about it. Leaving her with my parents was the worst, because i knew they would hit her if she did something wrong, but i didn't her to become like me. At that time leaving her behind sounded like the best option. So i did.

I lived mostly on the streets or in shelters for about Four years. I became very slender, but refused to go back to that hell hole. It's always better to have nobody than to have somebody who is half there, or doesn't want to be there. I got arrested multiple times, but sometimes we are taken into troubled waters not to drown but to be cleansed. And of course i became something i never expected to become. A world famous popstar, with all the pro's and con's of this life. I got it all, but i still got nothing because one day my world was flipped upside down.