After spending the afternoon with Carina, Meredith had prepared dinner for her kids once she had gotten home. They all ate together, her kids told her about a new film they watched, distracting her for some time before she brought them to bed. She kissed all of them good night on their forehead before she turned out the lights, looking back at them one more time and left their rooms.
She quickly went downstairs to tell her sisters that she would already go upstairs as well, wanting some time for herself, which earned her two worried expressions from them, silently asking her if she was okay. She gave them a small smile to assure them before she went to her room, closing the door behind her.
And only then she let herself take a few deep breaths before she carefully took the small white box Carina had given her, sitting down on the side of her bed.
She has wanted to know what was inside ever since Carina had given her the box, and at the same time there was an equal amount of fear that held her back. She wasn't sure what exactly she was scared of when she would open that box, but maybe it was exactly that. Not knowing what to expect, the fear to feel that pain again, the pain of having lost someone so important. She knew what it felt like, she has felt it every day since she had lost Derek. It had gotten better, but it was there every day. And now the only person she wanted to love again, was gone too. And that pain was still so evident every day she woke up and realized once again that Andrew would never be with her anymore. And she just started to have small moments every day where she felt like that pain was lifted by the people around her just a little bit.
And this box, these memories she wanted to see so badly, they would also bring some of that pain, the pain of having lost someone she loved a lot.
Meredith let her thump stroke over the box one more time before she slowly opened it, lying the lid aside. Inside were a few pictures and a paper that was rolled and tied with a cord.
She carefully took out the pictures, slowly going through them. It was pictures of her, of Andrew and her together and some of Andrew and her kids. She looked at every single picture with a small sad smile. These were some of the most precious moments they had gotten to spend together.
She stopped at the last picture. It was from one of their first dates at Lake Union. Andrew seemed so happy in that moment, looking at her the way he always did with a big smile on his face. And she had been happy too. They had been happy.
She wiped away the single tear she felt on her cheek before she put the pictures back inside the white box again, letting her thump rest on the last picture a moment longer. She missed his smile so much. She missed him so much.
She gave herself a moment, closing her eyes to focus on her breathing before she took the paper in her hand, trying to carefully untie the cord and open it.
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Once she had unrolled the paper, she saw a text inside it, written in Italian. And after she read the first few lines, she knew what it was, getting even more emotional than she already has been. He had written a song for her. She looked up for a moment, trying to hold the tears that were already forming in her eyes back before she started to read the text, he had written for her.
Il sole e le sue stelle
Quando sono vicino a te Come il sole, mi fai sentire tanta felicità Come le stelle, mi fanno sentire tanta luminosità
Nella mia vita hai portato un grande sorriso Io voglio stare con te
Quando sono vicino a te Come il sole, mi fai sentire tanta felicità Come le stelle, mi fanno sentire tanta luminosità
È come se il mio cuore avesse deciso È il migliore con te
Ti amo.
Per te, Mer.
She felt the tears forming in her eyes at reading the words Andrew had written for her. And at the same time, she found herself smiling slightly, knowing how he had felt about her.
She had always loved that side about him, his romantic side. When he spoke to her in Italian, when he prepared dinner for her, when he played the guitar for her, when he told her how much he loved her. It had scared her, but he was the one person who had made her want to feel that romance, to feel that love again. And somehow even after his death he managed to show her how much she meant to him.
She wished she had gotten a chance to tell him how much she loved him too.
She closed her eyes for a moment, trying not to let the pain she felt at that thought take over. But while feeling that pain, she also had a small smile on her lips, because this box, this letter and these pictures, they gave her a way to remember the good memories they had created. They gave her a way to remember the love they had shared and felt for one another.
She opened her eyes again, stroking over the words on the letter again, reading through the last verses one more time.
He had loved her, and she had loved him just as much.
"Ti amo, Andrea." She whispered into the room, looking outside at the night sky, hoping he could hear her somehow up there.
.
There was one more thing she needed and wanted to do.
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End of chapter 9
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The translation of the text:
(The sun and her stars
When I am around you Like the sun, you make me feel so much happiness Like the stars, they make me feel so much brightness
In my life, you have brought a big smile I want to stay with you
When I am around you Like the sun, you make me feel so much happiness Like the stars, they make me feel so much brightness
It's like my heart has decided It's the best with you
I love you.)
(For you, Mer.)
...
I know there are better love songs out there but I liked writing this, so I tried to write something myself ... Also, neither English nor Italian is my first language... But I tried to make it rhyme in Italian and I wanted it to make at least a little sense in both languages and this was the result... So, I'm sorry if i doesn't fit that well and for grammar and structure mistakes! But as I said I wanted to try to write something myself. :)
And I don't know if it is obvious enough but for Andrew, Mer is his sun and her kids are his stars in this song...
And this story will have 11 chapters in total, so there will be 2 more... 💕
