A blood Curdling Cry of fear echoed across the silent, lush valley. Sundown was creeping up with only a tiny bit of light peeking through the tree tops that surrounded me. I can't feel my feet and it feels like I'm drowning in my own blood. I'm trapped here, in this dark hole, I can't feel anything from my hip down. My bike is just up there on the side of the road. My little girl, Stephanie, was five when I last saw her. I remember that day so vividly just like all the others, scrambling around trying to find a job only to come home to my wife, Cecilia's disappointment. That day was different though, I didn't come home to her disappointment, I came home to our song, our love song playing on the radio and a note that she had written telling me that they were off to Europe and that one day she would send me a postcard from Italy. That was it, the last time I had seen either of them.
I was going to die the way I lived my life, alone and in misery, I was dying in a hole that I fell into. Thinking back now I can understand why she left me, it was for the better. She was a ballet dancer, so spontaneous and full of life. My life really began when I met her in 1943. We met when the French Ballet came out to Australia. I went along and she was sitting three isles down from me. We caught each other's eyes and could not stop glancing at each other for the whole show. During intermission she approached me and she asked me if I liked the ballet and told me it was her childhood dream to be a part of the French ballet. During the show we snuck backstage and watch all of the dancer's glamour up ready for their next performance. I could understand why she wanted to be a part of such a lively show so badly.
We found out the where the director of the show was staying so after the show we went to his hotel and Cecilia begged him for an audition. He gave her one and she impressed him with her ballet and she got accepted into the French Ballet! We were both so excited about the journey that lay ahead of us. We were embarking on a journey to see the world. We were going to Sydney, New York, London, Rome and then Paris! To our disappointment the director told us that I couldn't come along, I incited that she went by herself but she wouldn't leave without me so she declined his offer. I was attracted to her big smile, her chocolate coloured eyes and her attitude to life.
I promised her that I would take her overseas to wherever she wanted to go. We couldn't afford it so I took her to Sydney. We stayed there for three months and at the end of the trip I knew she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with so we got married. A year later we had Stephanie and I started working as a builder. Cecilia was starting to get bored with our new family life. A year later I got fired from my job and could not financially support our family. We had to move out of our comfortable home and into a much smaller one. It was really hard finding a job and after a couple of months I struggled to pay the rent and put food on the table. Things went from bad to worse when Stephanie got pneumonia at three, and had to fight for her life in hospital. The expenses weren't cheap so we had to move out to an even smaller apartment. Stephanie was soon going to start school and we couldn't pay the expenses. I was desperately in search of a job and just a week before Christmas I came home to an empty house with our love song on the radio on and a note explaining why they had left and a promise of a postcard from Italy. Cecilia said she had sold most of our belongings to pay for the trip. All I was left with was an empty apartment, a note a radio and a photo that we took on our trip to Sydney. I never got the postcard from Italy that I was promised. I spent my life in poverty, mopping around feeling sorry for myself.
All of my feelings have finally resurfaced. Maybe falling into this hole brought up alot of issues that I had buried deep down in me. If I could get out of this hole there would be so many things that I would change. Maybe visit Stephanie she'd be about 30 now probably with a family of her own. I don't blame myself for Cecilia leaving anymore, yes I had not been financially stable for her but I didn't force her to leave, she made that choice. She also chose to stay with me when she had the option to join the French Ballet. I wish my life continued just like hers did once she left. The last bit of sunlight was just peeking through the tree tops for one last second. I had the cold night to fight against now but the idea of starting my life again with a different perspective and view on things gave me strength and will to fight the night and get out of this hole to live life without regrets.
