Too Many Names- some short stories

The King's Foodtaster

It was a timid June afternoon and the King dropped dead at my feet.

I'm not sad, the fucker had it coming.

But it wasn't me I swear.

You see I've been many things in my life and I've failed at most of them. My father wanted me to be a knight, I fled at the first cries of war, he also wanted me to be his heir, but disowned me soon enough. After, I fled the kingdom and tried my hand at a great deal many things. Dishonorable things, one might call them, but they pay well enough so I didn't mind. Until I was caught that is and from then on I served as the King's food taster.

It is a risky occupation, usually reserved for the better breed of criminals who didn't deserve to perish at the gallows but were granted the 'honour' of perishing for the King. I ended up quite knightly in the end, I suppose.

That night had been a horrible nightmare. I awoke to a fiery pain in my lungs and a steel grip on my throat. I struggled against it with all my might, clawing and kicking- to no use. I had a realisation; it was gonna end soon. I was going to die. And I let go, the pain was too much and I gave up and waited. It wouldn't end, it didn't end. It continued on and on. My attacker was just as confused. Through their mask I saw confused eyes. So they decided a different method, the cruel ragged blade gleamed wickedly and they got to work on splitting my stomach. I would've screamed if my throat wasn't on fire.

I played dead. The pain was staggering but I forced myself still, and they fled.

That was the night I discovered I couldn't die.

I didn't sleep either. Laying in my bed, still from shock and the pain, I watched the world wake up. The birds start singing, the voices and noise of carts, and eventually the pink light of the sunrise. Hours passed in agony, but by the time the light streaming through my window was pale gold. The pain had dimmed, my wounds were all but gone.

The King was to eat roasted boar, the sizzling meat smelled mouthwatering good, an apple stuck in its mouth. I was barely focused on the food as the night's events occupied my thoughts. Who would want to kill me; a lowly food taster? I tried the food. Everything seemed fine. Nothing off about the boar.

The other food tasters had seemingly disappeared the steward told me as we watched a servant carry the dishes through the hallway and into the King's Dining Hall.

Just then a panicked knight rushed in, "the food tasters were bludgeoned in their beds!" He yelled to the steward.

I was already in the dining hall. But it was too late.

The Queen stared in horror. First at me then at the King. He was choking, his face purple and strained. His guards rushed to his side, calling for the medics. Unnatural groans escaped from the monarchs mouth while he clawed desperately at his throat.

"Y-you," he managed to say.

It was over in a few seconds. A crowd had formed around him, knights and guards and medics. A silence set in, broken only by stifled sobs and whispers. Still at the table, the Queen wailed. The crowd parted and I glimpsed him. The King was lying still on the pale marble, eyes open. His embroidered crimson cape folded beneath him like a pool of blood.

I stood frozen, watching it all. Deciding it was better to remove myself stealthily from the situation before I was spotted, I began to move towards the servant's hidden entrance. Just then a knight blocked my way, eyes set in malice.

The Queen rose from her seat. She was a slick creature, with large brown eyes and shining hair. She had dried her tears quite quickly it seemed, for nothing but contempt coloured her face as she regarded me.