Suicide sadness. (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

Chapter one

A thin line appears against her skin as she pushes the blade deep into the fat of her thigh, She lifts up the blade and adds identical lines repeatedly on her leg, her wrists, and even one fine cut along her neck, not deep enough to cause any dangerous damage but the crimson blood begins to ooze out of the first cut she made, little blood droplets appear and the relief she begins to feel is overwhelming, she thinks to herself, "thank goodness I don't have to feel anymore. Phyisical pain is easier to deal with than emotial pain, its too hard!"

Each cut that begins to bleed is a success. The only sign she is not a total failure. Well that is what her depressed mind says the illness has took over her pure, innocent thoughts, turned that beautiful mind into dark thoughts. Into a black hole.

She quickly put the toilet roll against the cuts to collect her blood, before her parents come in her room, she doesn't want them to get mad again and she hides the razor blade under a dvd cover, her favourite movie actually, well her favourite one at the moment, A time to kill, its about a young black girl getting raped, and her father kills the guys that did it, and they are trying to get justice. She loves the messages in it. She smiles, she feels like Amie for the first time in ages. This isn't the first time she's cut, but that was the first time in a few weeks that cutting has actually gave her the complete sense of relief she became used to just for a little while, but its there. She decides to put on her favourite dvd, She think's to herself, "well if it's my favourite surely it will bring me some sort of happiness, it would if I were a normal, none depressed person"

She puts her dvd into the players, after a short few minutes, her mind begins to wonder, she picks up her phone, she sighs seeing that she hasn't had a reply from her friends. Again, she thinks about how nobody knows she self harms, nobody knows how down she feels all the time, how broken she feels. She sweeps her short brown hair out of her eyes, she stands up, stripping out of her pj's she looks into the mirror.

Fat

That is what the mirror shows her.

A fat, scared, ugly mess.

she pulls at her hair "why am I so fat!" she cries, she pulls out her phone and tried to work out how many calories she has ate today, 500. Her depressed mind, we shall call it 'blackness' like her councillor suggested, tells her "when your this fat you shouldn't be eating that many calories" and she begins punching her body once more. She has work tomorrow 9-5! I know that you may judge her when i say that she works with children, I know right, a teacher that cuts herself? She tells herself its wrong, so wrong. but she can't help it, she can't stop the blackness telling her how worthless she is "Okay" she whispers lying in bed "I'm a messed up person, I'm wrong. I need help I get it! I'm sorry God, I'm sorry, I don't know if you are real or not but I am desperate, please help me!"

This is the story of a girl, Her name is Amie, she is 22 living in a city in England, she is a self harmer. she is depressed, and I need your help, I need you to stick by me and listen to her story. If you are religious pray for those people that find it difficult and go through things like what Amie has been through. If you self harm I want you to have hope, patience and strength enough to message me, I can try to help. This story isn't your typical fairytale, infact, have you ever seen a princess with cuts? No? me neither. well here you go, do you want to hear her story? Her past? I'm writing this story on behalf of Amie, be warned though, this story is a sad story, it has true horrors. Only those who have suffered the murderer called depression will truly understand.