Poems From a Heavy Heart

An Ode to a Part of Me

You scared me for far too long,
And made me question who I was inside.
The feelings you gave me felt wrong,
And within me you created a divide:
A divide between who I was and who my parents wanted me to be.
Oh, how I tried to destroy you!
I tried to expel you from my life,
But from my very birth, you had already sunk your claws into me.
And you just would not leave no matter how long I spent in a pew.
You had managed to stick into me even more so than a knife.

I refused to accept your presence for years,
Because I didn't want to face the consequences you brought.
But I got tired of shedding so many tears,
And finally realized that you weren't worth this much fraught.
So, I told my closest friends one by one by one.
I told them what I had been keeping from them for so long:
"I'm not straight."
And from there is when my acceptance of you had finally begun.
All of their support finally made me feel like I belong.
You were no longer a weight.

Because now I accept what you are,
And I accept all that you bring.
I know now that instead of branding me like an ugly scar,
You are actually a beautiful thing.
Something that's a part of me,
Something that will never disappear,
Something I'll hold with me for as long as I reside.
So maybe trying to get rid of you isn't the key?
Because why in the world are you something to fear,
If all you are is just another part of who I am inside.