Oneshot Album

SPEAK

I feel suffocated. I cannot breath when I'm on our house or with a group of people. I can't even utter a word.

I'm tired of being compared by others. I'm tired to listen to their rants about how they disappointed on me. I'm tired of playing perfect just for them not to hate me.

I can't find my voice. I can't speak. I can't express the pain I felt. I can't fight. They just won't listen.

"Saying what you feel will make you feel better," My teacher once said.

I stilled by that. Will be? I'm not sure but maybe I should try. Maybe...

"Look at her! She's all grown up! Her grades are higher than you! You're a big disappointment!" My mother shouted as my tears flow.

"You think I am? Ginawa ko naman lahat! I did the best I could but is that not enough to prove myself to you? I'm tired, ma! Being perfect is not my thing!" My voice became weaker as I stared at her shock face.

"How could you—"

"How could I say those things? Maybe I'm tired. So fucking tired that my feelings just explode. Ma, tama na. T—tama na. If I'm not enough daughter to you, just be enough mother for me."

My teacher is right. It's gonna make you feel better. Why I didn't do it before? Maybe I'm so scared? To the point that I let them rule my life.

Speak yourself. There's no wrong on that.

______________________
AUTHOR'S NOTE
I Wrote this beacuse this is my experience. I became voiceless. Always make the things other wanted for me. Hindi na ako nagiging masaya. Desisyon nila ang dapat kong gawin. I don't want to disappoint them. Hindi tulad dito ay hanggang ngayon ay hindi parin ako makapagsalita tungkol sa nararamdaman ko. So, I wrote this to inspire you to say your unsaid thoughts. Be strong!