I remember it so clearly, like it was just yesterday. I was little, free spirited with not a care in the world. Not caring what people thought of me or how I looked, I was genuinely happy. I said I couldn't wait to grow up...I was wrong.
Sitting on the dirty gym floor, I sit there staring mindlessly at the rest of the kids, the normal ones. The ones who could do things without back pain. Me? It happens all the time. I sit there, studying them, how straight their backs were and how much I wish mine were like that. I keep checking the time on the wall in bright red numbers. Sighing I take out a pad of paper and my pencil which was covered in nervous bite marks. I am terrible at expressing my feelings and the only way I can is by drawing them out. I draw a spine, my spine. Not a normal, perfectly straight spine but a curved one. Lightly sketching across the paper, Something bumps my leg. Looking up from my paper, I see one of the balls had strayed away from the court. Everyone looks at me, waiting to get it back. I kick it back their way as the bell rings.
Getting up, I brush off my pants and gather all my things. I make my way over to the door where everyone is squirming like little ants trying to get out of the door. I walk down the crowded hallway to my locker and twist the knob.
"So glad this day is over with." I think to myself as I shove all of my work into my bag along with my drawing and swing my backpack over my shoulder. I swerve in and out of kids until I finally get outside. Scanning for my moms car, my phone buzzes in my back pocket.
"Hey Trinitee, sorry I wasn't at school today, I'm not feeling all that great. Come over maybe? xoxo Your bestie Chelsea."
Smiling I look up from my phone to see my mom waiting there, looking at me through the window. I walk back to the car, shoving my phone back into my pants.
"Hey Trin, how was your day."
I look over at her and shut the door.
"Bad I'm guessing?"
Buckling in I tuck my hair behind my ears, "Besides the fact that I am deformed, it was great mom."
"Honey, don't call it that, your not deformed.
"I am." I say shortly, turning up the radio.
It's not that I don't like my mom, I love her. She just doesn't understand what it's like to have scoliosis, what it's like to deal with it everyday of your life, what it's like to be in pain but it all be on the inside. For your spine to be so twisted up that people can see your ribs and spine pressing out against your skin, just wanting to escape. Like how I wish I could escape.
Staring out the window with blurred vision, things flash by in colorful streaks.
"Could you...drop me off at Chelsea's?"
"But don't you want to spend time with me and your dad?" She says keeping her eyes on the road.
"I'll be home before dinner." I say as she turns into my friends driveway.
"When do you want me to pick you up?"
"I'll walk." I saw as I shut the car door and run up the steps to the house. I knock and instantly the door swings open.
"Oh hey Trinitee, come in. Chelsea's upstairs waiting for you."
"Thanks." I smile, stepping inside. I slide off my not so white anymore converse and walk up the spiral staircase. I can here music playing as I get closer.
"Knock knock." I say opening the door and peering in.
"TRINNNNNN!" Chelsea exclaims laying in bed followed by a cough.
"Hey Chels" I say sitting at the end of her bed, "How yah feelin'?
Chelsea turns down the music and sits up "Other than the fact I feel like crap, I am fantastic."
I take a deep breath and exhale all the stress from the day. Chelsea is the only person I feel I can actually talk to. We have been friends for basically our whole lives and the reason I am so close to her is because she once stood where I am standing today, she once too had scoliosis. Now all that remains is a scar.
"What about your back Trinitee? How's all that?"
"Good as it gets having a curved spine" I say laughing.
"Have you been back to have a check up lately to see if it's progressed?" She said looking into my eyes.
"Um no, not really. I've just kind of learned to ignore the pain."
"Trinitee...You have to go back. I know you don't like hearing that type of news and all but it's for the best. If you just wait it out, it could possibly start damaging other parts of your body too. Trust me, I've dealt with all of this before."
"I know, I know. I'll go, I promise."
"Good, you better." She says grinning at me.
"Look, if your worried about how it'll look afterwards, don't be. Yeah, it leaves a scar but like my mom always tells me, each scar tells a story and shows how strong a person is."
Lifting up her shirt, she turns her back to me and I take a long glance at the scar. It is slightly raised up and has a pinkish hue running from in between her shoulder blades to the very end where her tailbone is.
"That's a nice scar you got there." I say jokingly and smile.
"Thanks, I'm proud of it myself." Chelsea says turning back around smiling back at me.
I check the time on my phone and it is about dinner time. My parents always have it at the same time everyday.
"You don't know how much I'd love to stay longer but I told my mom I'd be home before dinner."
"Okay, yeah. You should probably go then."
"Thanks for this, I really needed to talk to someone." I stand over Chelsea's bed and give her a hug.
"Anytime Trinitee, your a strong girl and I will be there every step of the way."
I smile as I close her bedroom door and make my way back to the front door. Her parents are in the living room both watching tv while her dad reads the newspaper with his glasses at the tip of his nose like always.
"Cya later Mr and Mrs. Weldom" As I slip on my converse and open the door
"Bye bye now" I hear as I close the door behind me.
The wind blows my hair around and cold, fresh air enters my lungs, I feel free. Instead of taking the short way home I decide to take the long way, just to think about things. Just me.
