I could feel the air cooling my hand as I spun my fidget spinner between two fingers. Could hear the noises coming from the TV, probably my dad watching someone get stabbed. Staring at the clock on my wall as the seconds ticked by, wondering if life was worth it after all. I watched the time go from 9:17 to 9:18 with a delicate twitch of the bigger hand. I then switched to look at the black and white striped curtain, separating the walk-in closet with the rest of the room. It wasn't super bedazzling, yet wasn't plain. My fidget spinner stopped. I missed the cold air immediately. It was the only thing I had felt in such a long time. So I flicked it again with my pointer finger, making it start spinning once more. I tried to relate it with something humans do. Then I found it. It was just like when someone just doesn't have the energy to continue. Stops midway and gives up. Sometimes we just need a little flick too I suppose, to jump back to reality and start living life the way we want to. Thinking again of the curtain I had been staring at for who knows how long, I pondered on the thought that maybe the human brain also has a curtain you can pull to reveal something new you have never seen before. Even though half the walk-in closet was covered, I could still tell you in explicit detail what was behind it. I guess that's called memory. Can be really cool until you actually need to use it during a test. Then it goes complete haywire. There wasn't much else to see there, so I switched to look at the wall in front of me. I saw the string I had taped to the wall, holding six printed pictures. I thought of how carefree and happy I'd been taking those pictures. Not even having to fake a smile just for the camera. It was just there from the beginning. I would've never guessed I would be where I am today. Could have never guessed the trauma I'd go through. The details are still etched into my brain. I can still smell the scent of iron and pennies. See and feel a red trail melting down my arm as I held the cruel weapon in my hand. I could hear the agonizing scream, the crunch of his bones, and the final thump to the floor. Eyes wide open in complete terror. I remember standing there in complete shock of what had happened. It could have easily been an accident, except for the fact that it wasn't. It was cruelly intentional, yet it was too late to go back now...
