The Diary Of A Cancer Girl.

Chapter1

2nd August 2008.

Today i headed to the therapy for my weekly cure. More pain,more tears were awaiting me.There's always this little voice in my head constantly repeating to never give up... Never give up for my parents. I think, my parents are the ones who suffer the more. It's hard for them to see their only child slowly dying with an unfair disease. I frequently hear my mum crying and always whispering on and on that my destiny was tragic and undeserved. Well,dear diary, i agree... That's why,giving up was not the solution to opt for. The chemo sessions take place in room 431A. In there hides loads of amazing (but sick) people. They are always here to have a good laugh despite their cancer. They usually share their pain but i always keep mine for me. I mean, they already have theirs to bare,so hearing my pain was not necessary. Needless to say that i'm the youngest person in room 431A. Yes! In all the children alive in this world, I was in the group of children born with a cancer. What a luck (sarcasm).

       Mrs Simon who was my doctor, was observing the development of my cancer. I remember, when i was younger, she used to explain to me that cancer was a baby bacteria growing up by feeding itself in my body; just like a human needs food to grow and live. Well, i had no idea that this cancer was consuming my whole body up and KILLING me. You know, i'm really okay if the doctor just tells me that i was dying, as long as she tells me the truth. Mrs Simon had the time to grow older while me, i'm still stuck with the same (stupid) cancer.

     "Oh sorry!" A deep voice echoed in my head. I was as usual,in deep thoughts before entering room 431A. I quickly regained myself and looked up with a shy smile. Dude! This guy! He was tall,cute,muscular arms, hot, beautiful green eyes, gorgeous,curly brown hair and dimples. (Yes! He was smiling at me).

         "Oh! No problem" I replied as warmly as possible.

          "I'm Brent and you?" Woah his english accent and his rough voice made him even more perfect. *Damn! Isa!! He just talked to you so just reply!!* i suddenly told myself.

          " Isabella Woolhood ," I said quickly,feeling stupid to be in ecstasy in front of him.

              He explained to me that his girlfriend, Jane , was transferred here. Actually that girl is suffering from breast cancer for two long years now. Okay! Firstly, i'm so disgust to have for a second, thought that i could have a chance with that damn hot boy. Secondly,well, i'm jealous and happy that this girl has found love before the end. Grr! It's hard when you realise that maybe you'll never be among these happy women in the world having a family. C'mon, let's be honest, Cancer is UNCURABLE. I'll never be old. I'll never have a family of my own. Never have a job.... Ill never get these life experiences. NEVER.

            In room 431A , I noticed a blond girl wearing a flowered shirt and jeans. She had bright blue eyes and long eyelashes. She was beautiful and I guessed that she was Brent's girlfriend. I sat next to her and we began to talk. She talked about her exciting life with Brent while i talked about my boring life. But i think that we kind of liked each others company. This was maybe because we were the only two teens in this room.

        After letting the machine finishing up its work ( stopping my cancer to spread), mum came and pick me up,late as usual. I never got mad at her because I understood that she had a job and a life besides me. Once home, I didn't go to bed like i was supposed to do. Instead, i sat on the couch and told mum about Brent and Jane. Half and hour later, I couldn't resist and went to sleep. My everyday life was : Sleep. Eat. Television. Talk to mum. No social life. No school. No boyfriend. No party. No teenage life. Just home. Just cancer.

5th August 2008.

So Diary, heading back to room 431A for my drug injections. I saw Brent in the hallway and just slightly bent my head to say hello. He smiled at me and i just walked away. I then saw Jane already in the 431A. She was beautiful as usual but seemed weaker though. I sat next to her and let the machine work out. While i looked at the ceiling and slept. I then began to dream. I was five years old. A transparent tube was surrounding my nose. But i was much healthier. My parents were getting the barbecue prepared while i was running in the garden. I could feel the coolness of the grass penetrating every pore of my skin. I was laughing aloud to, maybe let the world know that i was happy. I felt free... Just like the butterfly i was trying to catch.

I often dream of these moments that really happened in my life when i was young, wild and free.

            "You okay?" I asked Jane,just after the chemotherapy was over.

             "Sorry, i didn't really talk to you. I was really tired and not in the mood. I really needed to close my eyes." She answered guiltily. Instead of replying,i hugged her tightly. I really felt attached to Jane and Brent, even if i knew them since only a few days.

            Brent and Jane invited me to have a lunch at Billy's palace. There were the best burgers ever. God!! Really! These burgers were really per-fect. Well,diary,Brent and I had some minutes of our own as Jane had to go to the toilet. I realised that we had loads of things in common. We were both fan of Marvel and loved wearing shoes without socks. (Goodness,i found my half!.... Kidding)