Her Insanity

Her Insanity
Short story - unedited

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand
a single word of what I am saying." -Oscar Wilde

                                         Victoria Fallon

December 29th, 1981

Dear Diary,

When we were children, we had someone to protect us, to fight our battles and shield us from what would become our deepest desires.

We were told we could be anything, do anything, and have everything. But as we became older, and years went by, we learned how false those things were.

We were taught and misguided at an early age; adults and parents teach us things, planting inaccurate ideas of what is true and false, good and evil.

We believed in myths and fairy tales, trained to believe that everything is sunshine and daises, that one day our prince charming would sweep us off our feet to live a perfectly happy life together.

Slowly we face the unsettling truths of the world unmasked. We come to realize that there is blood and violence that covers the planes of this cruel Earth.

Those who cannot comprehend or transition from child to adult are thrown away to the side and are left for the streets as they struggle to hang on.

If anything, I was one of those people. I was one of those people who couldn't transition, lied to all my life, spoiled 'till the point I were rotten and thrown into the world unprepared.

                                             Victoria

I crossed my legs and pondered in my thoughts; my eyes closed against the images of what used to be a life I once thought as perfect, before I was labeled mentally unstable.

It's been almost two years since I've "snapped".

My thoughts had suddenly become disrupt and scattered as all things that made me who I was slipped through my fingers like grains of sand.

A fear that I had not known existed inside me. It was a fear that grew as things of the past, things I was told contradicted of what became my future, and as my fear multiplied, so did the nonsense that became my insanity.

My mind could no longer distinguish what was a dream and what was reality. I had became a slave to the lies told and shared, staying ignorant to the truth that laid itself before me.

I was admitted into a hospital for the crazies late December of 1979. I was talked to like a child, like I couldn't comprehend simple sentences. I was treated as one too, as if I couldn't dress myself in the mornings or brush my teeth without being watched.

I would say I didn't belong here, that I wasn't crazy, but they would only nod their heads, and give me simple replies that infuriated me.

Days, weeks, months, then finally years went by before I realized I may never get out of this place I called Hell. So I began to dream. I dreamt of a world were everyone and everything was accepted. A world where fairy tales and myths came true, a world where there was no such thing as violence or war.

As time went on, visits from family and friends became infrequent. Around that time was when I truly lost all comprehension of what was reality. I created a new life within my mind, where I was married, and lived in house with a white picket fence.