Chapter 1: The demise of Naruto Uzumaki.
TW: Self harm, abuse.
Pain.
Pain is the first thing Naruto Uzumaki knows. First, it's only pain in his chest, heavy and burning.
Lonely.
He knows this second, it follows directly after pain. He knows why he feels that pain now, in his chest. Heavy and burning, always there, like an invisible tumor.
Hurt.
Pain and hurt follow together, hands clutched. Hurt is broken bottles smashed over his head. Hurt is kicking and punching. Hurt is bruises. Broken bones. Scars.
Pain is similar, but permanent. Hurt is temporary, bruises fade and bones heal; but pain, pain does not leave.
Because pain is always there. Pain hasn't left.
Pain is Naruto's friend, close to his heart, dangerous.
Heavy and burning, just like whatever lives inside him.
He knows not details, just whispers. Whispers of hatred and writhing snakes.
He wants to tell them it's not his fault, he's sorry they're dead. Tell them he understands.
Because he too is alone.
Pain, Lonely, Hurt, Isolation, Grief.
But no one wants to listen to him, because he is danger and he brings death.
He does not know why they want him to hurt. Why they want him gone.
He only knows of the whispers and cutting words.
Never gone.
~
He feels pathetic, acting stupid and wearing such an ugly jumpsuit. But what is he supposed to do, they can laugh and insult him.
He's rather that than be ignored.
He thinks.
~
It starts as an idea, faint in the back of his mind.
Leaving.
It's like something he could reach for but never grab, because he's just useless, stupid, Naruto.
Leaving.
~
All of a sudden, it's all he can think about. He thinks about it while he digs angry red lines into his wrists and thighs. He thinks about it while a villager takes out the days anger by kicking his bruised ribs and leaving a black eye on his face. He thinks about it while he covers his eye.
Leaving.
~
Finally, he stops thinking about it.
He only stops thinking about it because it's not leaving anymore.
He left.
YOU ARE READING
what happened? (what have you done?)
FanfictionTired of endless abuse, Naruto leaves the village. He finds a living as a mercenary, occasionally working with certain members of the Akatsuki.
