Aftermath of a Nuclear Winter

Falling

You feel your heart jump into your throat as you fall, but strangely, you also feel a sense of tranquility as you plummet to the ground.

You watch the sky above, your back to the ground as you fall as you don't want to see the ground coming ever closer on the way down.

The sky is a pale blue color, darkened from the clouds that gathered there hours before and never moved, and despite it being midday, it feels almost like early morning, when it's quiet, and you're usually left alone with nothing but yourself, your thoughts, and the dark sky.

The air is cold, whipping at your face and neck and arms and legs as you fall, your nose filled with the smell of rain that you know will come, you just don't know when.

You turn your head as your hair is blown from one side of your face by a wayward gust of wind, and you see a large rock formation in the distance.

Framed by the cliffs across from your head and feet, and surrounded by golden grassy fields, it looks like a majestic monument to a lost era; perhaps an older, wiser, freer time.

You can see the faint outlines of other rock monuments in the distance behind it, swathed in soft-looking fog.

You think you can just make out the edge of a lake, or maybe a sea, birds flying over the pale blue waters as you see the faint outlines of small animals in the fog and in the golden field; rabbits, deer, lizards, birds all living their lives as if you don't even exist.

As you fall, it feels as if the world is moving almost in slow motion, and it's almost as if you see everything just a little bit clearer than before you fell—as if a blurry glass screen had been blocking your vision all your life up until this moment. Or perhaps, you had not had it when you were a child, but had it given to you. You don't care about that now. Now you can see clearly, truly clearly, and the sight before you is breathtaking.

The cliffs across from your head and feet quiver, shaking as the sky booms low with thunder. However, no loud, violent roars can be heard. Only soft, almost distant rumbles overhead. You turn your attention back to the sky, and another soft rumble is heard. As the sound echoes through the cliffs around you, the first few droplets begin to fall, darting toward the ground as if racing you. You feel a few frigid drops hit your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. The cold air and freezing water doesn't bother you.

You watch as the cliffs around you begin to appear overhead, signaling you are nearing the ground. You don't care.

You stare up wide-eyed into the dark gray clouds. As the ground comes ever closer, you listen. You hear as the Earth speaks to you.

You hear the thunder. You hear the gentle rain pattering on the land around you. You hear the distant animal calls. You hear the wind rushing by. You hear your own breath, your own heartbeat.

There is nothing to be afraid of, it tells you. Everything will be okay.

As you hear this, as you feel it, your body relaxes.

Maybe this was an accident. Maybe it was fate. Did you jump? Or did you fall? You can't remember. The top of that cliff feels like years ago. You don't know how much longer you have until you hit the ground. Is it seconds? Minutes? Hours?

Either way, you don't care. You're cherishing this moment. This moment of clarity. This moment of being able to see the world's face with open eyes, unobstructed by any other thoughts. This moment, the moment in which you can clearly see the Earth's guiding hands through the creatures in the field, those which sculpted the stone monument and filled the lake. This moment in which you can clearly hear the Earth's voice in the wind and the thunder. This moment in which you can feel the Earth's tears in the cold droplets pattering against your skin.

This one moment is one of the most beautiful in your life. This moment, where you truly feel like you understand something. Like you truly belong. Like you're...home.

As you get ever closer to the ground, you close your eyes. You hear the wind whisper your name and you can hear the thunder sing you a lullaby as you can almost feel the Earth reaching to catch you. You take a deep breath and smile.

Because you know, no matter what happens, you will be okay.

Because you're finally, for the first time in your life, truly free.

Photographer: Konsta Punkka