I have had three serious relationships and I am now happily in my fourth and hopefully last. Out of those previous three, I was broken up with by two and I broke the other. But from all three, I have found a similarity that I believe played some part in the end of each. An obvious, strange, maybe even rude similarity. Males, even females, might take this as a warning if such should happen to them; certainly question it! And take this also as a courteous plea, to not toy with a persons' heart or feelings. If you're with someone, be "with" that person. If you feel like you're not with the right person, let them know! I am quite curious to hear what others think and if they have experienced or noticed this from their previous breakups.
I had my first real girlfriend when I was 16. We dated for 3 years, from the start of my Junior year in High School to the start of my Sophomore year in college. I thought we were going to get married when we were done with school; we even talked about it and planned for it. But minds change, especially women's. While at Bible college, we stayed in separate dorms and would call each other at night. I remember one conversation we had one night. One that didn't stick out to me at the time, but does now. With talks of marriage and babies and baby names, for her to mention a name that she liked out of nowhere didn't seem all too peculiar. She said, "You know, I like the name 'Aaron'." I liked it too. I said, "Oh yeah, like Moses' brother in the Bible. He was a prophet of God!" I didn't think any more of it. We both knew an Aaron, but he was just some guy at college with us. Well got a little too friendly in my opinion. Offered her rides to class, played the whole "pick on her" game, and helped her out on work from the same classes they had. I told my girlfriend my concerns, and she said they were just friends. A few more flirts later, I made it clearly known to both of them that I was uncomfortable with their friendship. Soon enough, I got the boot. Called it "God's will". I laughed my ass off. I had followed her to the college we were attending, went on mission trips with her, called her my "wife-to-be", respected her wish to not kiss before marriage. Thought I was doing everything right. But I guess I got "God's will" wrong. She said we weren't breaking up because of Aaron, but within the next month I saw them laying on top of each other in the wreck hall for all to see watching "Fireproof". If you know that movie, you would have to guess that I laughed my ass off again.
My second relationship started a few months after that and lasted for about ten months. Met this girl at my old high school as she was graduating and then she went to college much farther than my own. We called each other a lot, sent messages, tried to visit as much as we could, but the distance was rough. One night, déjà vu sort of happened. Didn't catch it then though. I was in my dorm room, and she was in hers, hundreds of miles away. We both had our talks of marriage, babies, and baby names. I was always in a relationship for the long haul! And she says, "I like the name 'Thomas'." Well we were both big into Narnia so I thought, "Oh, like Mr. Tumnus?" I was referring to the faun played by James McAvoy. I thought they sounded similar and it made her laugh. Come to find out from one of my buddies at the the college she attended, many guys would come up and flirt with her and she would let them play as long as they could until she had to admit she had a boyfriend. Long story short, the distance wasn't working out and her dad hated my guts, so I broke up with her for a local girl at my college. Years down the road, that girl married a "Thomas". Catching my drift yet?
My third relationship, which was with that local college girl, actually turned into marriage! We dated for maybe ten months then got hitched. We had our ups and downs. Both of us came to the conclusion that we were better roommates than soulmates, but we stuck together. One night though, we were laying in bed watching tv as we usually did, and she asks, "What do you think of the name 'Troy'?" I said, "Reminds me of that movie with Brad Pitt. I don't really like it for my sons name." She didn't say anything after that. She had been planning on going on a mission trip. I wasn't able to get off work but she was. She left for a week. We weren't able to talk much or even communicate hardly because of her lack of cell phone service and Internet. She came back though. And with pictures of her and her team. One person stuck out to me; a guy that hung around pretty close. She messaged her team a lot after she came home, especially him. Made numerous calls to him too. Not too long after she sat down with me and said she wasn't happy and wanted a divorce. I was shocked. So was my family, and her family, and our friends. She packed up her things, left for her mothers, and filed for divorce. And that was that. She married T-R-O-Y two months later.
Looking back at things, I have noticed this small detail and wonder why it has happened repeatedly. Why were these girls so bold enough to tell me the names of guys there were interested in? We're our conversations that boring? To tell me who they were thinking of moving onto next? That must be it. Girls, please tell me if I'm wrong, and may I ask, why do you do this? And guys, be warned if your girl starts liking names randomly that aren't yours! You know I'm keeping my ears extra open with my girlfriend now!!
